Dealing with stress and anxiety after marriage

[deenovrdunya]

Assalamolikum,

I got married a year ago and have been living with my in laws since then as well. There is been a lot of conflict in the house and about 3 months into my marriage I got a panic attack and freaked out and didn't know what it was. My heart was beating very fast and my face felt numb so I went to the hospital but they basically said it was anxiety / emotional related symptoms. After that I kept having more panic attacks due to the stress and anxiety.

The problem itself is that I was never able to have a good relationship with my mother in law & my sister in law (my husband's brother's wife). My sister in law is also my mother in law's niece (cousin marriage). I have felt left out of things in the house and seen my mother & sis in law do everything together and instead they accuse me of not fitting in with them.

When they wrong me in some way then I talk to them straight up about it and I get accused of starting fights/ drama in the house. We have had many arguments and it has caused me lots of stress that i've never had to deal with before because i'm the type of person that always got along well with others.

My husband and I have a very good relationship and he is trying to fix things and move out.

Does anyone have any good tips on how to deal with this type of anxiety and stress? Any duas or dhikr that I can read through the day to help?

Thank you,

[Serinity]

Re: Dealing with stress and anxiety after marriage

Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Try to read Ayatul Kursi, do lots of dhikr, by saying SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu akbar, 33 times each. Do dua and ask Allah, speak to Allah.

Sorry for not being of much help. may Allah :swt: help you. Ameen.

And Allah :swt: knows best.

[zantz]

Re: Dealing with stress and anxiety after marriage

Strawberries and vanilla ice cream :D and say bismillah before you start

[Indefinable]

Re: Dealing with stress and anxiety after marriage

Assalamolikum,

I got married a year ago and have been living with my in laws since then as well. There is been a lot of conflict in the house and about 3 months into my marriage I got a panic attack and freaked out and didn't know what it was. My heart was beating very fast and my face felt numb so I went to the hospital but they basically said it was anxiety / emotional related symptoms. After that I kept having more panic attacks due to the stress and anxiety.

The problem itself is that I was never able to have a good relationship with my mother in law & my sister in law (my husband's brother's wife). My sister in law is also my mother in law's niece (cousin marriage). I have felt left out of things in the house and seen my mother & sis in law do everything together and instead they accuse me of not fitting in with them.

When they wrong me in some way then I talk to them straight up about it and I get accused of starting fights/ drama in the house. We have had many arguments and it has caused me lots of stress that i've never had to deal with before because i'm the type of person that always got along well with others.

My husband and I have a very good relationship and he is trying to fix things and move out.

Does anyone have any good tips on how to deal with this type of anxiety and stress? Any duas or dhikr that I can read through the day to help?

Thank you,

The first couple of years of marriage are the hardest. This will determine how emotionally strong you are as a person.

1) Say the morning/evening adhkaar, and perform your salaah consistently with khushoo. This is fundamental if you are having anxiety/stress related issues.

2) Start activities which will include your mother in law and sister in law - be creative. It could be anything.

3) Maybe cook their favourite dishes spontaneously.

4) As long as your intentions are pure, and you don't act maliciously then don't worry about their opinion of you.

5) If/when they start arguments then remain silent and Allaah azza wa jal will reward you for your sabr (insha'Allaah).

6) Do not complain to your husband of anything regarding your mother in law and sister in law

May Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala ease your affairs. Ameen.

[~TwinklingStar~]

Re: Dealing with stress and anxiety after marriage

Are you junaid...some number's wife ? I remember I'd replied to his post in the Anonymous Counselling Section a few days back.

Anyways, the best solution to your problem is to just find a place to move in...and move out asap. It's not good for your mental or psychological well-being to continue living in such a toxic & unhealthy environment...considering you've had to be hospitalised for it.

Meanwhile, be patient...everytime, they gang up on you, remind yourself that this is only a temporary setting & you'll soon leave this mess behind & move to your own place where no one will ever bother you. Remember, Allah's promises that with hardship, there is relief ; Allah is with the patient ; a beautiful house will be gifted to the saabireen in Jannah etc etc

Even when you try to defend yourself , the opposing side takes it as creating fitna...so, just remain silent. If one party stays quiet, matters won't increase.

Try to be as polite & friendly as you can...don't forget your akhlaaq in the process. Try your best to overlook their flaws & shortcomings & don't take their snideness or mean behaviour to your heart. Hear from one ear & remove it from the other.

Your SIL is probably jealous of your wonderful relationship with your husband...MashaAllah...and wishes you to be as miserable as her because she may be unhappy for some reason. So, don't display too much happiness in front of others.

Wake up at Tahajjud, do plenty of istighfaar & cry to Allah to mend your affairs & to make your house full of sukoon & rahmah.

[deenovrdunya]

Twinkiling star,
Sorry for late reply but yes you are right, i am junaid's wife. And we actually did move out and now we live like 10 min away from his family and alhumdulilah theres not tension like it was living together but now we have other issues where the parents dont balance it out and only come for to live with us for one day and it makes us sad. i will be posting about this issue in a different post.