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Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

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  • Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    This is quite common: a person complains of their pain, and the person to whom they make known their problem, will then have to share their own in a way to undermine the first person's complaint. It will be something like '...Well if you think that's bad, I had to...'

    So assuming the second person's pains are greater, does this somehow confer them a right to make such a comparison? Or are they being supercilious?
    What I mean is, does one person's suffering somehow makes your own any less? I don't think that it does. I think all people should be allowed to moan about their grievances if they so wish to. But at the same time, I think no because there are people out there whose situations are more dire than could be conceived of by one who has not experienced the same. So what's the right answer?

  • #2
    Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

    :wswrwb:

    I actually see sooooo many ppl do this on the forum and it annoys me so much cos it just makes them sound bitter about what they had to go through and it's like shut up
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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    • #3
      Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

      Yes every time I remember my suffering I remember what the bani Israel had to go under firawn :)

      But reminding myself isn't always helpful besides putting my pain into respective, they - bani Israel - have already passed and possibly gone to Jannah as believers yet I am on earth tormented uncertain about akhira.
      Last edited by LailaTheMuslim; 10-08-16, 09:55 PM.

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      • #4
        Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

        :wswrwb:

        What I have noticed is far too many with backbones made of jelly. Sure some times things are tough but I think if we strengthened our backbone things could be dealt with so much better. Some of the boys here are meant to grow into men...Gordon Bennett show some evidence of it once in a while.

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        • #5
          Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

          Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
          :wswrwb:

          What I have noticed is far too many with backbones made of jelly. Sure some times things are tough but I think if we strengthened our backbone things could be dealt with so much better. Some of the boys here are meant to grow into men...Gordon Bennett show some evidence of it once in a while.
          What were u like when u were young?
          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

            Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
            :wswrwb:

            What I have noticed is far too many with backbones made of jelly. Sure some times things are tough but I think if we strengthened our backbone things could be dealt with so much better. Some of the boys here are meant to grow into men...Gordon Bennett show some evidence of it once in a while.
            Okay, but that doesn't answer my question. Thank you though.

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            • #7
              Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

              Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
              What were u like when u were young?
              You mean how am I now?...well I'm a bit of a softy.

              Originally posted by srahman33 View Post
              Okay, but that doesn't answer my question. Thank you though.
              It does in part because if we are stronger we won't see much complaining.

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              • #8
                Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                You mean how am I now?...well I'm a bit of a softy.



                It does in part because if we are stronger we won't see much complaining.
                I'll entertain this for a moment. Yes, you are right. And to become stronger begins with strengthening imaan. A person of complete imaan would find it far easier to accept his woes and therefore would not complain. Was it 'Umar :RA: who said he only complains of his upsets to Allah or something along those lines?

                But not everybody is strong in their faith and Allah does love too the weak ones, though the stronger ones are better. So that leaves the question: is a person allowed to complain of his hurts and upsets when there is another person in a worse situation than he?

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                • #9
                  Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                  :wswrwb:Well tbh there's no need to complain in the first place.
                  [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
                  [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

                  [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

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                  • #10
                    Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                    Originally posted by zantz View Post
                    :wswrwb:Well tbh there's no need to complain in the first place.
                    I'm not sure you understand my meaning of 'complain'. I don't mean 'cry about it', I mean to feel an annoyance or upset and perhaps, to speak about it to someone.

                    For example, tell a person about what got on your nerves in the day. Or for example you are in a terrible situation, which causes you stress, to speak about it, is this justified when there is somebody else whose pain is more severe?

                    This isn't necessarily about 'complaining', rather it's about understanding whether pain is 'relative'.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                      You mean how am I now?...well I'm a bit of a softy.



                      It does in part because if we are stronger we won't see much complaining.
                      young ...like in ur 20s

                      Like my dad used to be a real gangster thug when he was young but now he's the big friendly giant
                      ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                      "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                      :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                        Originally posted by srahman33 View Post
                        I'll entertain this for a moment. Yes, you are right. And to become stronger begins with strengthening imaan. A person of complete imaan would find it far easier to accept his woes and therefore would not complain. Was it 'Umar :RA: who said he only complains of his upsets to Allah or something along those lines?

                        But not everybody is strong in their faith and Allah does love too the weak ones, though the stronger ones are better. So that leaves the question: is a person allowed to complain of his hurts and upsets when there is another person in a worse situation than he?
                        You have answered it already...it's ok to be weak and turn to Allah swt. Whether others are in greater difficulty, which they invariably will be considering there are quite a few people on the planet makes no difference. They don't need to hear about it if you don't mention it. Our communication is one to one with our creator. Your test is unique to you and your pain is unique to you and how you deal with it is unique to you. But we need to try and avoid the oh woe is me.
                        Last edited by zi-zizou; 10-08-16, 10:12 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                          Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                          young ...like in ur 20s

                          Like my dad used to be a real gangster thug when he was young but now he's the big friendly giant
                          I had responsibility from a young age...no time for gangster.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                            Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                            I had responsibility from a young age...no time for gangster.
                            Hmmmmmmmmmm.
                            ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                            "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                            :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Pain is relative... Or it isn't?

                              Originally posted by srahman33 View Post
                              I'm not sure you understand my meaning of 'complain'. I don't mean 'cry about it', I mean to feel an annoyance or upset and perhaps, to speak about it to someone.

                              For example, tell a person about what got on your nerves in the day. Or for example you are in a terrible situation, which causes you stress, to speak about it, is this justified when there is somebody else whose pain is more severe?

                              This isn't necessarily about 'complaining', rather it's about understanding whether pain is 'relative'.
                              Most of the time there's no need to narrate to people ur sufffering either, unless you need advice. So if you get responses you dont like dont complain
                              [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
                              [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

                              [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

                              Comment

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