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I made my mother cry

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  • I made my mother cry

    A few months ago I was declared severely depressed by my doctor. He recommended rest and gave me anti depressants.

    I was so upset by this I went home and cried. My mum saw me crying and I blurted out what the doctor had said. My mother and I don't share that open relationship were we talk about feelings or even touch, this is how she's always been with my siblings and I. She confirmed she noticed my behaviour was different over the last few months and said she thought that was the case. A few days later my grandma passed away and I had to take the role of the strong one and put a brave face on within I was internally battling my own demons amongst it all.

    Then approached the month of Ramadan and although I had a few bad days, I felt a connection with Allah SWT and felt content knowing He is watching. I speak to Him after every Isha salah as if to speak to a friend. Now Ramadan is over I feel like my problems have started. I had a horrible day at work then a friend argued with me over something (small) but I couldn't stop myself and cried out loudly. My mum came rushing and saw the state I was in. I felt weak, my tears were uncontrollable, I couldn't even stand. It felt like my body gave up.

    My mum tried her best to carry me to my bed and sat with me while I stated blankly at the wall. I heard her wipe her tears and swollen the lump in her throat but I couldn't comfort her. I feel guilty that I made my mum cry becuase I couldn't control myself. I don't even know if what I said makes any sense but please advise me on how to get rid of depression. I have turned to Allah SWT and am being patient but I can't see my loved ones go through something cause of me.

  • #2
    Re: I made my mother cry

    :salams:

    Sorry to read about your situation, I'm sorry I can't help.

    Please don't feel alone because you can talk to us and relate to those that are experiencing something similar.

    It's good to know that you still have faith in Allah because happiness lies with knowing that Allah is there even though we maybe struggling towards being obedient servants.

    Don't despair, hold onto that rope of hope because the struggles that you face now will one day be answered with a reward because Allah loves the servant that remembers him even in the most difficult of situations.

    You can get rid of depression but this can take time and it depends on you as an individual.

    Ask yourself what's making you depressed? If it's a person then avoid them, if it's the environment you are in at work maybe try your best to replace that with something else. What do you eat, how is your diet, do you sleep well, what's making you stress etc.

    There is a cure for everything except death. And sadness has a cure, depression has a cure because Allah has said in the Noble Quran:

    'Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest' ~ 13:28

    Even though your doctor has told you that you're depressed, don't consume yourself in this thought and give up on your life because you can get over this hurdle one day :insha: keep living your life the best way possible and fulfil your potential.

    Apologise to your mum or make her a cup of tea. If you're not open to her that's fine. You don't have to be but help her with whatever she needs help with or offer her to help. Mothers remember small little things and they appreciate it when their daughter wants to help them. Give her that message and she'll understand. Don't feel bad, it's just about controlling the anger and feeling down, which again can take time as soon as you find the solution that works for you. Don't blame yourself (it happens I know, but it's not nice) instead help yourself.

    Speak to a therapist. Are you in the UK?

    Please read the below link when you have time, it has a lot of information and duas you can recite:

    http://sunnahonline.com/library/puri...on-and-worries

    Get back to us :-)
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    • #3
      Re: I made my mother cry

      Your mum felt sad because she saw you are not well. Every mum would feel this way. It's not your fault. You do your best and keep striving. However, depression is not easy and even if we try hard, we never see the light. Just remember that part of the feelings and the thoughts you have, are caused by this bad disease and it's not the reality. Remember that. Remember that reality is different but this disease doesn't allow you to see it. And remember that you can get over this. It's just a difficult and dark moment of your life. Keep talking and connecting to Allah swt.

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