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Feeling lost.

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  • #16
    Re: Feeling lost.

    Originally posted by Comrox View Post
    I understand that's your culture. But that type of "treatment" only works for a certain type or group of people. For many people, "harsh reality" and someone pushing them hard is effective at getting them to achieve their goals. For many other people, physical and emotional damage, on top of what they're already going through with depression, would break them and make the situation a lot worse. Now, I don't think either of us know OP, so we don't know what kind of person she is or what kind of behaviors she responds to.
    Agreed. But the reason I mentioned that is because I'm not sure I went through depression and I'm not sure my culture's "solution" can cure such a problem therefore, i.e. if I had depression and they just attacked me for it, I doubt it would help me, so I'm figuring maybe I didn't have depression when I thought I did. Or maybe I did and it was an actual solution, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone really.

    Not even a husband can convince someone that they're beautiful who is so set in their mind that they're not. What you're speaking of MAY solve the problem, but it doesn't solve the root of the problem - which is how she feels about her own self. Until she deals with the root of her problems, she may suffer from any or all the following:

    If she marries now, she's going to think her husband has married her out of pity, and that he doesn't really want her or love her. She'll never believe her husband when he tells her she's beautiful. She'll be insecure; and feel that because of her looks and mental illnesses, her husband may leave her at a moment's notice because he wants someone else. (She may even drive herself insane trying to please her husband as much as possible, because she may feel that since she doesn't have much going for her physically or emotionally, if he's not 100% satisfied, he'll leave her.) She may even reject a potential because she doesn't feel good enough for him. (This happens. She might not even reject him right away but back out later on.) In this scenario, a woman feels that she is too much of an emotional burden and her husband-to-be deserves much better. She'll sacrifice her own potential happiness to "save" everyone else.

    Now, a woman shouldn't think that her husband married her out of pity, or is lying when he tells her she's beautiful, etc. But this is what goes through a lot of peoples' minds when they're depressed, especially women.
    I guess that would explain why she rejected suitors. I see.
    Say what somebody can do instead of the haram if you want to help.