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Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

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  • Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

    I was looking forward to going to iftar at the Turkish American mosque today, but I had a secret reason for wanting to go.....I wanted to talk to girls, including that 13 year old girl.......I even wanted to talk to this one 17 year old girl who I sort of hate. But I was getting so angry today that I liked the 17 year old in the past but her parents would not let her talk to boys (or she made it up just to avoid me), that I considered leaving Islam astagfirullah, but decided against it Alhamdulillah. I still am wanting to talk to that 13 year old, but I feel this will only get me in trouble, and not only is it technically haram, but it has caused me to a) almost commit apostasy b) I won't get in trouble with the masjid or her parents because they are more liberal c) I often have panic attacks when talking to her d) my mother is reluctant to let me talk to a 13 year old e) and I have considered doing more than talking, such as flirting, and watching the stars together, shaking hands, etc.....Should I not go, for fear of fitnah?

  • #2
    Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

    Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
    I was looking forward to going to iftar at the Turkish American mosque today, but I had a secret reason for wanting to go.....I wanted to talk to girls, including that 13 year old girl.......I even wanted to talk to this one 17 year old girl who I sort of hate. But I was getting so angry today that I liked the 17 year old in the past but her parents would not let her talk to boys (or she made it up just to avoid me), that I considered leaving Islam astagfirullah, but decided against it Alhamdulillah. I still am wanting to talk to that 13 year old, but I feel this will only get me in trouble, and not only is it technically haram, but it has caused me to a) almost commit apostasy b) I won't get in trouble with the masjid or her parents because they are more liberal c) I often have panic attacks when talking to her d) my mother is reluctant to let me talk to a 13 year old e) and I have considered doing more than talking, such as flirting, and watching the stars together, shaking hands, etc.....Should I not go, for fear of fitnah?
    Ya dont go and dont do this haram stuff...i thought you ve a seperate thread for your questions..no?? Why would you go for apostacy dye to a girl??
    ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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    • #3
      Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

      Originally posted by snow_flakes View Post
      Why would you go for apostacy dye to a girl??
      Because I considered the gender segregation rules to be absurd, so I grew disillusioned with Islam.

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      • #4
        Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

        Well in an ideal world it is the women that should not be going and causing fitnah for men but they'll just pull out the Hadith of when it was allowed in the time of the Prophet :saw: and won't pay any attention to context and understanding, but yeah if it's that bad then find another masjid.

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        • #5
          Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

          Bro, you are too thirsty. You need to slow down with these threads...

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          • #6
            Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

            Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
            Because I considered the gender segregation rules to be absurd, so I grew disillusioned with Islam.
            You are still intereacting with girls..You should call sin a sin no matter you avoid it or not.This has destroyed previous nations since they wanted to change laws acc to theur desires.Its not hard to avoid unnecessary dealings.
            ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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            • #7
              Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

              Don't go, little brother.
              And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
              [al-An’aam 6:59]

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              • #8
                Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                well, despite all of your advice, I chose to go....sorry

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                • #9
                  Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                  This story just made me wonder
                  Is it common that masajid have non-segregated places where both genders are free to mix?
                  يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                  O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                  Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                  • #10
                    Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                    Originally posted by aynina View Post
                    This story just made me wonder
                    Is it common that masajid have non-segregated places where both genders are free to mix?
                    There aren't any masajid, in my area at least, that have designated free mixing areas. I don't think any masjid on the Sunnah would ever do such a thing.

                    The only reason Muslims would free mix at a masjid would be if the culture of the people who go there is very liberal, including the imam.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                      Originally posted by aynina View Post
                      This story just made me wonder
                      Is it common that masajid have non-segregated places where both genders are free to mix?
                      no....it's technically segregated, but the parking lot, and the field where kids play, is non segregated.....and sometimes they don't put a divider in between the men's cafeteria and the women's cafeteria, like last night...so there are loopholes like that.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                        There aren't any masajid, in my area at least, that have designated free mixing areas. I don't think any masjid on the Sunnah would ever do such a thing.

                        The only reason Muslims would free mix at a masjid would be if the culture of the people who go there is very liberal, including the imam.
                        well, technically, the place is a Turkish cultural center, but it functions like a mosque in that the vast majority of events are religious in nature.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                          lower your gaze maybe, and not look at the women . its possible
                          how old are you anyway??
                          Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                          __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                          If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                          You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



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                          • #14
                            Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                            Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
                            no....it's technically segregated, but the parking lot, and the field where kids play, is non segregated.....and sometimes they don't put a divider in between the men's cafeteria and the women's cafeteria, like last night...so there are loopholes like that.
                            SubhanAllah
                            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                            • #15
                              Re: Should I not go to the masjid for iftar due to fitna of women?

                              Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                              There aren't any masajid, in my area at least, that have designated free mixing areas. I don't think any masjid on the Sunnah would ever do such a thing.

                              The only reason Muslims would free mix at a masjid would be if the culture of the people who go there is very liberal, including the imam.
                              Yea subhanAllah theres even a cafeteria..
                              يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                              O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                              Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                              Comment

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