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Okay my story is a little long and complicated so sorry about rambling.
I have had difficulty in religion throughout my life, I went mosque when I was younger (but House Mosques), my mother was religious, my father is just Muslim by name and a more simple cultural man. Anyway I've lacked religious education through life, and I'm kind of stuck in a rut, it's not that I go again god, but I don't think of the actions I do sometimes.
My mother is no longer with us, and that leaves me and my father to try raise my brothers and 1 sister into decent people, I'm trying to become a good moral person, because there were issues in family et, religion and Islam was in the household and we were based on key fundamentalist idea but never enough detail. Anyway I need guidance, I am lost now on who to follow, Sunni vs Shia, I've tried looking up argument for both but it hurts my head, i've been to both sunni and shia mosques but I'm still confused. Heck when i see all this in iraq etc, I also get confused on why is this stuff happening, then it just makes me reflect on my own life and look at how confused I feel about religion.
I don't say there's no god or no religion, I believe earth was created by god, but I am confused, who to follow, my base of judgement etc are also messed up, I don't know, in all honestly I want a lifestyle with good pious and humble life, but I am plagued,
I like listening to music to calm me down and help when I'm upset, i enjoy some love songs , i know this is bad but i also fell to like a girl, shes gone now, and it broke my heart but i think it was a test. My father wants me to get married at 18/19 so I can have a wife at an earlier age so we can both enjoy life, I do want to listen to my father but sometimes I feel like I sacrifice my happiness in order to appease him, yet when i do things when I'm happy but he doesn't like it, then I feel sad,, Islam say respect your parents.
There are also groups of Muslims that I know that I don't really like, and threes quite a few of them, they are quite hypocritcal, but I can't judge so am I, but they represent themselves as a practicing muslim, beards, preaching but then they go off, smoke shisha, sometimes drink, talk to girls, get involved in bad stuff etc
What I'm trying to say is that I want to shaped into living a fulfilling life, but sometimes I don't know how to achieve it, I look at some simple villagers from my country and they just get on with it, knowing that they are with god, but mine i think it's just too heavy for me to comprehend. I guess it's lack of proper religious schooling, I am form a religious country infact one of the most religious but my family aren't that religious as much as they are cultural., I don;t know what to do to achieve a good life, i want to become a good pious man, not a kid who is lost looking for light
I have had difficulty in religion throughout my life, I went mosque when I was younger (but House Mosques), my mother was religious, my father is just Muslim by name and a more simple cultural man. Anyway I've lacked religious education through life, and I'm kind of stuck in a rut, it's not that I go again god, but I don't think of the actions I do sometimes.
My mother is no longer with us, and that leaves me and my father to try raise my brothers and 1 sister into decent people, I'm trying to become a good moral person, because there were issues in family et, religion and Islam was in the household and we were based on key fundamentalist idea but never enough detail. Anyway I need guidance, I am lost now on who to follow, Sunni vs Shia, I've tried looking up argument for both but it hurts my head, i've been to both sunni and shia mosques but I'm still confused. Heck when i see all this in iraq etc, I also get confused on why is this stuff happening, then it just makes me reflect on my own life and look at how confused I feel about religion.
I don't say there's no god or no religion, I believe earth was created by god, but I am confused, who to follow, my base of judgement etc are also messed up, I don't know, in all honestly I want a lifestyle with good pious and humble life, but I am plagued,
I like listening to music to calm me down and help when I'm upset, i enjoy some love songs , i know this is bad but i also fell to like a girl, shes gone now, and it broke my heart but i think it was a test. My father wants me to get married at 18/19 so I can have a wife at an earlier age so we can both enjoy life, I do want to listen to my father but sometimes I feel like I sacrifice my happiness in order to appease him, yet when i do things when I'm happy but he doesn't like it, then I feel sad,, Islam say respect your parents.
There are also groups of Muslims that I know that I don't really like, and threes quite a few of them, they are quite hypocritcal, but I can't judge so am I, but they represent themselves as a practicing muslim, beards, preaching but then they go off, smoke shisha, sometimes drink, talk to girls, get involved in bad stuff etc
What I'm trying to say is that I want to shaped into living a fulfilling life, but sometimes I don't know how to achieve it, I look at some simple villagers from my country and they just get on with it, knowing that they are with god, but mine i think it's just too heavy for me to comprehend. I guess it's lack of proper religious schooling, I am form a religious country infact one of the most religious but my family aren't that religious as much as they are cultural., I don;t know what to do to achieve a good life, i want to become a good pious man, not a kid who is lost looking for light
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