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  • Parents at the edge of divorcing

    Bismillah hir rahman nir raheem

    As-salamu alaykum dear brothers and sisters,

    I am currently going through a huge huge huge problem in life. My parents are at the edge of divorcing each other. Nothing has been decided yet, however, reality seems to be that divorce may end up happening. My parents have not spoken to each other in nearly four months since their last argument. Since I was young, I have seen them argue and argue over and over again. It happens usually every few weeks. However, this time its gone way too far. I understand that couples have disagreements, but not speaking to each other for four months is just outrageous. When they are together they are the best couple ever, loving and caring for each other. But when they are like this, they act like enemies.

    I have felt that my father has tried to patch up with my mother. However, my mother believes that if she patches up, they will only end up arguing again a few weeks later. (I honestly don't understand what she wants to do now)

    I've tried talking to them directly and explaining feelings many times. I've mentioned how shaitan must be very happy to see them behave this way. I've been doing as many chores as I can do ease the tensions. However, nothing seems to be working. I'm constantly making dua day and night to Allah as well. I don't want to see my family fall apart like this. :(

    Could anyone give me any advice on what to do. Please try to make dua for my family and me as well.

    Jazak Allah Khair

  • #2
    Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

    Dear brother

    I am sorry to hear of the difficult time you are going though. May Allah guide you all through this tough period and help your parents sort out their disagreements inshaAllah.

    Is there a close family member that could help talk to your parents and help them? I am not from a muslim family but I understand in these situations, families come together to sort out issues like this.

    I will make dua for you all.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

      Originally posted by revertsister88 View Post
      Dear brother

      I am sorry to hear of the difficult time you are going though. May Allah guide you all through this tough period and help your parents sort out their disagreements inshaAllah.

      Is there a close family member that could help talk to your parents and help them? I am not from a muslim family but I understand in these situations, families come together to sort out issues like this.

      I will make dua for you all.
      Jazak Allah Khair for your reply sister,

      I do have close family members, however, they would only create more problems. There are many disagreements entangled up deep inside the rest of my family as well, so they would not be willing to help too much. I really don't know what to do at this point other than to keep praying to Allah. Your duas are much appreciated sister.

      Jazak Allah Khair

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

        Keep up with the du'as and try your best not to side with either.
        17-07

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

          May Allah swt ease your pain ameen
          I love you, cherish you and worship you,
          Guide me on your path to your janna,
          Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


          :love:Allah:love:

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

            Originally posted by SheSaid View Post
            Keep up with the du'as and try your best not to side with either.
            JazakAllah Khair for your reply sister,

            I will make sure to keep up with my dua's and not side with either of them

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

              Originally posted by Fragile View Post
              May Allah swt ease your pain ameen
              Ameen.
              JazakAllah Khair for your dua sister.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                wa alehkoum salam my brother

                Im proud that you are trying to ease their situation in any sort of way as this is such a good act from your own character. Its hard to say what you should do more because your role is that you are their son and meddling deep within their problems will end up changing your view/mindset of your parents.

                Whatever their calamity is may Allah swt guide them in love and harmony. If these were my parents I would advise them to both go to marriage counseling before making any sort of huge decisions. A lot of divorces can be prevented by problem solving and fixing communication problems. Or talking to the imam/sheikh. I dont believe that people should divorce without these steps (unless in extreme cases). Also its easy to mutter the words of divorce but living life after that is something people dont consider in the heat of the moment. People dont plan for the after part of divorce and speaking of that part can scare them back into senses. Yet, Im not sure how seriously they will take you since they probably think these things do not concern you.

                Keep up being the best son possible. Advise everyone goes to therapy to have professionals sort this out or an imam/sheikh. And of course the best and most important help is with Allah swt, they need to stay strong and safeguard themselves against shaitan whom may possibly be pulling them apart. Stay strong in these times, Allah swt knows what will happen hopefully divorce is an idle threat. Either way we all have your support!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                  How old are you? This will help me advise you...
                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                    Originally posted by goal4jannah View Post
                    Bismillah hir rahman nir raheem

                    As-salamu alaykum dear brothers and sisters,

                    I am currently going through a huge huge huge problem in life. My parents are at the edge of divorcing each other. Nothing has been decided yet, however, reality seems to be that divorce may end up happening. My parents have not spoken to each other in nearly four months since their last argument. Since I was young, I have seen them argue and argue over and over again. It happens usually every few weeks. However, this time its gone way too far. I understand that couples have disagreements, but not speaking to each other for four months is just outrageous. When they are together they are the best couple ever, loving and caring for each other. But when they are like this, they act like enemies.

                    I have felt that my father has tried to patch up with my mother. However, my mother believes that if she patches up, they will only end up arguing again a few weeks later. (I honestly don't understand what she wants to do now)

                    I've tried talking to them directly and explaining feelings many times. I've mentioned how shaitan must be very happy to see them behave this way. I've been doing as many chores as I can do ease the tensions. However, nothing seems to be working. I'm constantly making dua day and night to Allah as well. I don't want to see my family fall apart like this. :(

                    Could anyone give me any advice on what to do. Please try to make dua for my family and me as well.

                    Jazak Allah Khair

                    I know people say you shouldn't get involved, but if you're old enough, I say you should. 4 months is far far far too long to be living away from each after an argument.

                    There must be an understanding of letting things go and moving on. Both mother and father are stubborn about their views, and this sadly may ruin your family.

                    Talk to your parents, discuss that you don't like them arguing and staying away from each other for ages. Ask them what the actual problem is, and see how it goes from there.

                    Also, everyone argues, it doesn't mean you suddenly leave your partner.

                    Say, that this will only lead to divorce and you will suffer the most out of this.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                      Originally posted by Anthanasia View Post
                      wa alehkoum salam my brother

                      Im proud that you are trying to ease their situation in any sort of way as this is such a good act from your own character. Its hard to say what you should do more because your role is that you are their son and meddling deep within their problems will end up changing your view/mindset of your parents.

                      Whatever their calamity is may Allah swt guide them in love and harmony. If these were my parents I would advise them to both go to marriage counseling before making any sort of huge decisions. A lot of divorces can be prevented by problem solving and fixing communication problems. Or talking to the imam/sheikh. I dont believe that people should divorce without these steps (unless in extreme cases). Also its easy to mutter the words of divorce but living life after that is something people dont consider in the heat of the moment. People dont plan for the after part of divorce and speaking of that part can scare them back into senses. Yet, Im not sure how seriously they will take you since they probably think these things do not concern you.

                      Keep up being the best son possible. Advise everyone goes to therapy to have professionals sort this out or an imam/sheikh. And of course the best and most important help is with Allah swt, they need to stay strong and safeguard themselves against shaitan whom may possibly be pulling them apart. Stay strong in these times, Allah swt knows what will happen hopefully divorce is an idle threat. Either way we all have your support!
                      JazakAllah Khair for your reply sister,
                      I will definitely try to somehow advise them to go to marriage counseling. I completely agree with what you said about how divorces can be prevented by problem solving and fixing communication problems. I will also keep being helpful and keep on doing things to help around the house! JazakAllah Khair again for your support!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                        Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                        How old are you? This will help me advise you...
                        Dear sister,
                        I am 16 years old. JazakAllah khair for your help.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                          Originally posted by R123 View Post
                          I know people say you shouldn't get involved, but if you're old enough, I say you should. 4 months is far far far too long to be living away from each after an argument.

                          There must be an understanding of letting things go and moving on. Both mother and father are stubborn about their views, and this sadly may ruin your family.

                          Talk to your parents, discuss that you don't like them arguing and staying away from each other for ages. Ask them what the actual problem is, and see how it goes from there.

                          Also, everyone argues, it doesn't mean you suddenly leave your partner.

                          Say, that this will only lead to divorce and you will suffer the most out of this.
                          Dear sister,
                          JazakAllah Khair for your reply. I agree 100% that they should let things go and move on. They are indeed both being stubborn. I have tried talking to them multiple times about how I dislike their behavior and constant arguments. There is not really an actual problem. It is more of a constant argument every now and then on little useless matters, which leads to them doing the silent treatment to each other for who knows how long each time.

                          I really really don't want them to get divorced because I know when they are normal, they are really the best happy couple and a happy family.
                          May Allah grant them happiness and resolve their differences between each other. Ameen.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                            JazakAllah Khair to everyone who has advised me so far and supported me! I really appreciate it very much. May Allah give you all immense reward for your efforts in helping me out! Ameen.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Parents at the edge of divorcing

                              its true Shaytaan is happiest is when a married couple break up because a unit of the ummah has been broken

                              but somethings just happen and theres nothing you do about it but make dua. Remember Tahajud duas
                              https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                              Ephemeral reader

                              Comment

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