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How do I learn to control infatuation?

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  • How do I learn to control infatuation?

    I am 17, and I find it hard to not try to date or pursue girls in haram ways astagfirullah......i know concealing sins makes it less of a sin, but i have to reveal them to show you how bad it is...at school I have tried dating, but gave up, partly because I reminded myself it was haram....in my neighborhood, just yesterday, I followed a biker girl and asked for her name and introduced myself astagfirullah and she got scared and lied and said she had to go home for dinner....as for my turkish cultural center, i was considering telling a 12 year old girl I admired her.....after I talked to her at the center and my mother got mad at me for talking to young girls....after arguing with my mother about going to the center, (another sin, disrespecting my mother), and stressing about telling her, I realized enough was enough and I had to stop this boyfriend girlfriend business because it is only hurting me.....and because it is angering Allah swt.....I also realized I needed to be more religious, and part of the reason I haven't been on this site in a while is because i considered everyone here too religious, but now i realize i was the one with the problem.....how do I control my desire for girls?

  • #2
    How do I learn to control infatuation?

    know that theres more to life
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
    [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

    [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

    Comment


    • #3
      How do I learn to control infatuation?

      Dont get consummated by your desires
      coz thatll lead you to the fire
      [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
      [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

      [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How do I learn to control infatuation?

        Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

        Assuming marriage is not an option for you, here is what you should do:

        1.) Fast. If 3 days a month doesn't solve the issue, then mondays and thurdsays. If 2 days a week doesn't solve the issue then increase until the fast of Dawud (every other day)

        2.) Stay away as best as you can from the opposite gender. Don't be friends with them, lower your gaze, don't watch TV if that's an issue for you, do everything in your power to prevent yourself interacting with them

        3.) Increase in worship. Recite Quran, Qiyaam-ul-layl, Sunnah prayers etc

        4.) Become attatched to the masjid. Try and go as often as is possible for you.

        5.) Make sure you have good (male) friends, who you can pass the time with but who will also remind you of Allah and prevent you from falling into sin.

        6.) Keep busy in general, try memorizing Quran for example, but do anything even if it's with a hobby, sports etc so long as it is permissible and doesn't involve interacting with females. Basically you want to distract yourself so you don't have time to act on desires

        7.) Dua Dua Dua. Ask Allah to help you, and recognize that He is the only one who can improve your situation, so take all the above steps while relying on Allah.







        If by doing just one of these things you are able to solve your problem, great, but if not you have to keep increasing the amount you do until you reach the threshold that works for you.

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        • #5
          Re: How do I learn to control infatuation?

          :salams

          12 - they're so innocent :(

          but khair inshaAllah you're striving to do good now

          its not worth it because firstly Allah swt has warned us to stay away from such things - anything that goes against the obedience of Allah swt will cause you pain whether you realise it or not

          Secondly - the heart is delicate, if you give it to anyone before your wife you will limit the amount of pure, true love you can give her. Imagine it as a piece of paper you place in other's hands. If it's in someone's hands it's bound to get crumpled unless it's in the sanctity of marriage - imagine that as being a super forcefield around your heart and protecting it

          hey... No matter how religious people are on here, they all sin. But what we should do is help and encourage each other away from that.
          Like a tall Jenga tower and if one piece (you) begins to slide so you might fall, the rest of us will become strong and firm to support u inshaAllah

          no one says the fitna of girls/boys isn't hard, but I'm saying this like you're older sis that would want nothing but the best for u cos u are the same age as my bro and if he told me this, tbh I would have steam coming out my ears but once I was over that I'd tell him that busy yourself with other things.

          It WILL happen for u inshaAllah but don't force it or do anything that will mix or contaminate the purity of your marriage. Think about what a relationship with your wife entails seriously, in terms of responsibilities before u think about the lovey dovey or butterfly stage of it. And always remember she is someone's daughter and how u would want people to treat your daughter one day inshaAllah
          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How do I learn to control infatuation?

            Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
            I am 17, and I find it hard to not try to date or pursue girls in haram ways astagfirullah......i know concealing sins makes it less of a sin, but i have to reveal them to show you how bad it is...at school I have tried dating, but gave up, partly because I reminded myself it was haram....in my neighborhood, just yesterday, I followed a biker girl and asked for her name and introduced myself astagfirullah and she got scared and lied and said she had to go home for dinner....as for my turkish cultural center, i was considering telling a 12 year old girl I admired her.....after I talked to her at the center and my mother got mad at me for talking to young girls....after arguing with my mother about going to the center, (another sin, disrespecting my mother), and stressing about telling her, I realized enough was enough and I had to stop this boyfriend girlfriend business because it is only hurting me.....and because it is angering Allah swt.....I also realized I needed to be more religious, and part of the reason I haven't been on this site in a while is because i considered everyone here too religious, but now i realize i was the one with the problem.....how do I control my desire for girls?
            the struggle is real

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How do I learn to control infatuation?

              when ur desires become uncontrollable then get up and pray

              “Recite what has been revealed to you of the Book, and perform the Salah. Verily, the Salah prevents from Al-Fahsha’ (immoral sins) and Al-Munkar (evil deeds) and the remembering (praising) of Allah is greater indeed. And Allah knows what you do.” (29:45)

              fasting mondays and thursdays is the second best thing to getting married
              The Prophet (saw) advised to: “Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death
              https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgE...kS-Qi3nf3tcvPw

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How do I learn to control infatuation?

                Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
                I am 17, and I find it hard to not try to date or pursue girls in haram ways astagfirullah......i know concealing sins makes it less of a sin, but i have to reveal them to show you how bad it is...at school I have tried dating, but gave up, partly because I reminded myself it was haram....in my neighborhood, just yesterday, I followed a biker girl and asked for her name and introduced myself astagfirullah and she got scared and lied and said she had to go home for dinner....as for my turkish cultural center, i was considering telling a 12 year old girl I admired her.....after I talked to her at the center and my mother got mad at me for talking to young girls....after arguing with my mother about going to the center, (another sin, disrespecting my mother), and stressing about telling her, I realized enough was enough and I had to stop this boyfriend girlfriend business because it is only hurting me.....and because it is angering Allah swt.....I also realized I needed to be more religious, and part of the reason I haven't been on this site in a while is because i considered everyone here too religious, but now i realize i was the one with the problem.....how do I control my desire for girls?

                Salaam bro,

                Till u get married, there is a way. FASTING regularly.

                Comment

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