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I need help and advise desperately, regarding my parents!!!

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  • I need help and advise desperately, regarding my parents!!!

    Assalamu Alaykum dear brothers and sisters

    I am in desperate need of any type of help, advise, or even any prayers/duas I can get right now. Ever since I can remember, my parents have been arguing and arguing. They have always argued and fought over the smallest to the biggest of issues. It drives me crazy seeing them this way. When they argue, it is as though they have become some type of other personality, and the talk bad about each other. (When they are normal, they are always saying how helpful and kind the other is). So as you can tell, big difference.

    However, just about a few weeks ago, they had a major major argument between them. I'll explain what occurred.

    My mother works part time to support her mother overseas. She isn't able to make enough money from just working, so she also does haircuts of her friends at our house in a separate room to get some extra money. However, my father does not like her doing this. He doesn't want her to call her friends into the house to get their hair trimmed. My mother says to my dad that she has no other way to raise money to support her mother (as my mother's dad passed away a few years ago). The two of them had a major argument over this issue about three weeks ago. They have not talked to each other since then! Its been more than three weeks!!

    The worst of it all is that we have a trip booked to our home country for this summer. Today, my dad told me to tell my grandmother (in other words, my mom's mother) that when my dad comes for the trip, he is going to go to my grandmothers house and open a tuition/coaching center there to get even with my mom. I could not believe this! He is disrespecting my grandmother.

    I am really upset and disheartened and do not know what to do. This is not the first time this has happened, so they already know how I feel and whatnot. I have already done the entire thing of telling my feelings, explaining that they are making shaiytan happy, and all of that. I have no elders whom I can get involved in this as it is just us. I've prayed and prayed to Allah each day and night to help me.

    If anyone can please advise me what I should do to get them back together, I would greatly appreciate it! Please remember me in your duas in sha Allah.

    Jazak Allah Khair

  • #2
    Re: I need help and advise desperately, regarding my parents!!!

    One of them probably suffers from a bipolar condition .You need to find more about this.Opening a coach centre in a foreign environment is probably one of those threats that you have been used to and nobody goes any further with them.Inshallah ,Allah s.t. will reward you for your patience.

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    • #3
      Re: I need help and advise desperately, regarding my parents!!!

      Waalaikumussalam Brother,.
      I do feel your Dad mentioned about the tuition just at the heat of the moment ,and chances are will not go through with it.
      We say a lot of things to get even, or make the other feel bad at times of anger or during arguments.

      I have seen a couple who call each other darling etc.....but argue a lot and never get along.

      It is a tough situation for a child to be in .....and continue to make dua for them.

      Is your dad in a position to contribute the balance money that your mum makes from hairdressing.
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      • #4
        Re: I need help and advise desperately, regarding my parents!!!

        No offence but your father is being extremely unreasonable and quite immature.

        Its not like your mother is doing anything haram. Calling friends over to a separate room to cut/trim hair for a little extra money shouldn't be looked down upon.

        She's doing it to help her mother.

        I'm not sure what to advise...either you should stay out of it, until it eventually simmers down, or you talk to your father, maybe ask him why he is against it.

        If he doesn't want her to do that, for whatever reason, he should at least be trying to contribute a little money then.

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