Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Temptation to stray?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Temptation to stray?

    So I'm 17 year old male and I'm in last year of high school. My friends and classmates have fun with girls, like going out with them, taking pictures and such. They also go to sheesha/hookah parlors and such. Even though I'm not into this kind of stuff but I feel like they're having a lot of fun by travelling and so, and at a later point in their life they'd just repent and carry on?

    I think it's a whisper of the shaytaan which is making me think like this, but the point is.. when other teenagers of my age are having fun.. couldn't i just make friends with the opposite gender and socialize a bit (nothing haraam tho)

    I have a feeling that I'm missing out on life and "school life/young life" and later would regret?
    i have no female friends at all rn, the ones i had in secondary school i broke ties with ever since i left school and I went to segregated schools for most of my life
    how do i cope up, even tho i know it's wrong but my logic is very flawed. my brain keeps making stupid arguments which makes me confused.

    any help would be appreciated.

    thanks.
    Last edited by shoebahmed; 30-01-16, 10:33 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Temptation to stray?

    Originally posted by shoebahmed View Post
    So I'm 17 year old male and I'm in last year of high school. My friends and classmates have fun with girls, like going out with them, taking pictures and such. They also go to sheesha/hookah parlors and such. Even though I'm not into this kind of stuff but I feel like they're having a lot of fun by travelling and so, and at a later point in their life they'd just repent and carry on?

    I think it's a whisper of the shaytaan which is making me think like this, but the point is.. when other teenagers of my age are having fun.. couldn't i just make friends with the opposite gender and socialize a bit (nothing haraam tho)

    I have a feeling that I'm missing out on life and "school life/young life" and later would regret?
    i have no female friends at all rn, the ones i had in secondary school i broke ties with ever since i left school and I went to segregated schools for most of my life
    how do i cope up, even tho i know it's wrong but my logic is very flawed. my brain keeps making stupid arguments which makes me confused.

    any help would be appreciated.

    thanks.
    even being friends with opposite is haram. please youtube "opposite gender interactions" and watch a video by Nouman Ali Khan on the same topic.

    And let me tell you, you are NOT missing out on life if you don't do the same things your friends are doing. you are actually lucky to not do them.

    What your friends are doing is wrong. If they are muslims, I suggest you tell them it's wrong and bring them back to becoming better muslims.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Temptation to stray?

      Salaam brother,

      You have pretty much answered your own question - that these are whispers as well as a flawed logic which you have developed.

      You feel that you are "missing out" and would regret this later. I can tell you what you will regret later - going ahead and ruining yourself for a few days or weeks of temporary pleasure, which is nothing but an illusion.

      The real things you will "miss out" on by giving into these temptations are - developing your connection with God, peace and contentment of heart and mind, preserving your dignity, respect and reputation, and setting a good example to others. No sensible person would want to miss out on these for the sake of a brief "enjoyment".

      Developing your eeman and connection with God often takes long years of hard and painful struggle and self denial - a struggle which should start in the early days of your youth, and the fruits of which you will see in years to come, in sha Allah.

      May Allah make it easy for you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Temptation to stray?

        [MENTION=101848]shoebahmed[/MENTION] you seem like a good brother ma sha Allah. You are only 17 years old so maybe it seems important for you now to hang out with girls, but if you follow your desires you will regret it sooner or later. You have been keeping away from girls all years during high school, so don't ruin it by 'having fun' in your last year. Best thing for u is to hang with brothers that are religious and that don't mix with girls.

        * I just want to add: this is why young people should get married. Wallahi marriage is the best protection!
        Last edited by Umm Uthmaan; 31-01-16, 12:34 AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Temptation to stray?

          Originally posted by shoebahmed View Post
          So I'm 17 year old male and I'm in last year of high school. My friends and classmates have fun with girls, like going out with them, taking pictures and such. They also go to sheesha/hookah parlors and such. Even though I'm not into this kind of stuff but I feel like they're having a lot of fun by travelling and so, and at a later point in their life they'd just repent and carry on?

          I think it's a whisper of the shaytaan which is making me think like this, but the point is.. when other teenagers of my age are having fun.. couldn't i just make friends with the opposite gender and socialize a bit (nothing haraam tho)

          I have a feeling that I'm missing out on life and "school life/young life" and later would regret?
          i have no female friends at all rn, the ones i had in secondary school i broke ties with ever since i left school and I went to segregated schools for most of my life
          how do i cope up, even tho i know it's wrong but my logic is very flawed. my brain keeps making stupid arguments which makes me confused.

          any help would be appreciated.

          thanks.
          It is not permissible to have friends of the opposite gender, or go to sheesha/hookah parties, and you should tell your friends that.

          You said that you feel that you will later regret not doing these things? You won't. On the day of judgment NO-ONE is going to regret that he not had committed such sins.

          You are doing the right thing by staying away from what your friends are doing :masha:. I would advise you to start hanging out with better people.

          :brf:
          Narrated Anas:
          The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself." [Bukhari]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Temptation to stray?

            Assalaamu alaykum warahmatullah

            Your though process is sort of understandable, sort of. However, why don't you reverse it and think of the goodness you have in yourself right now, work on it and make yourself even better inshallah?

            There are 7 types of people who will be under the shade on the Day of Judgement and they are:
            1) a just leader
            2) a youth who grows up worshiping Allah
            3) a man who is deeply attached to the Masjid
            4) two men who love one another for the sake of Allah, meeting for His sake and parting for His sake
            5) a man who is called by a beautiful woman and says, 'I fear Allah'
            6) a man who gives charity in secret such that his left hand does not know what his right hand is doing
            7) a man who remembers Allah when he is alone and his eyes fill with tears. [Bukhari, Muslim]

            From what you've said in your post you could fit into a couple of categories of the 7 that are available. Why not make sure you achieve number 2? What do you need to do? Carry on as you are inshallah :)

            Honestly speaking though, you're doing well with what you're doing please try not to get influenced to do haram, I know it's easier said than done. Why don't you find something fun to do that doesn't involve haram? Who knows, your friends might want to copy you when looking at how much fun you're having!

            May Allah SWT reward you greatly. Ameen.
            Last edited by The Criterion; 31-01-16, 12:40 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Temptation to stray?

              Bro, we aint like these shameful people, we should have self-respect and dignity and stay away from such things, stay away from these things and the good girls will want to marry you.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Temptation to stray?

                Originally posted by shoebahmed View Post
                So I'm 17 year old male and I'm in last year of high school. My friends and classmates have fun with girls, like going out with them, taking pictures and such. They also go to sheesha/hookah parlors and such. Even though I'm not into this kind of stuff but I feel like they're having a lot of fun by travelling and so, and at a later point in their life they'd just repent and carry on?

                I think it's a whisper of the shaytaan which is making me think like this, but the point is.. when other teenagers of my age are having fun.. couldn't i just make friends with the opposite gender and socialize a bit (nothing haraam tho)

                I have a feeling that I'm missing out on life and "school life/young life" and later would regret?
                i have no female friends at all rn, the ones i had in secondary school i broke ties with ever since i left school and I went to segregated schools for most of my life
                how do i cope up, even tho i know it's wrong but my logic is very flawed. my brain keeps making stupid arguments which makes me confused.

                any help would be appreciated.

                thanks.
                Have it ever occurred to you that it's them who will regret later for wasting their times in such futile things?

                Having a haram relationship at early age might make it difficult to find joy in a real relationship i.e. marriage in later age.

                Sheesha/Hookah is harmful for health.

                There's enjoyment in halal things too. Do some sports/gym etc. which are also beneficial for your health.

                I regret many things I've done in younger age.
                Winning an argument doesn't mean you're on truth, losing an argument doesn't mean you're on falsehood.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Temptation to stray?

                  Assalaamu alaykum,

                  You are indeed blessed to have gone to segregated schools, for that is what is best for all children. You seem to understand correctly the importance of avoiding free mixing and should be under no doubt as to why Allah has made this rule - it is to save us from temptation and ultimately to protect us from sin. It is natural to question what you see around you and to experience a degree of doubt, but be under no doubt that these are merely the whisperings of the Shaytaan and must be ignored. As you grow up you will experience all sorts of temptations and urges to do things that you know in your heart are wrong but it is a characteristic of a good young Muslim to be able to put these aside and stay close to the obedience of Allah .
                  Allah is so Great and Merciful that although we continue to disobey Him, He still awaits for our repentance so that He may forgive us.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Temptation to stray?

                    I hope you'll not go stray

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Temptation to stray?

                      My dear brother, I lived that life for 21 years and it never satisfied me. The only contentment you can have is to renounce dunya and live for God. People can chase dunya all they want, but it never satisfies because you're always left wanting more. You go from one addiction to another, aimlessly chasing a mirage. Going out with girls and smoking will not help you on Judgment Day. Who are you to say that you will clean up your life when you get older? you aren't guaranteed to be here tomorrow. Death can come at any point.
                      "Wert thou to follow the common run of those on earth, they will lead thee away from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but conjecture: they do nothing but lie." (surah 6:116)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Temptation to stray?

                        Originally posted by The Criterion View Post

                        There are 7 types of people who will be under the shade on the Day of Judgement and they are:
                        1) a just leader
                        2) a youth who grows up worshiping Allah
                        3) a man who is deeply attached to the Masjid
                        4) two men who love one another for the sake of Allah, meeting for His sake and parting for His sake
                        5) a man who is called by a beautiful woman and says, 'I fear Allah'
                        6) a man who gives charity in secret such that his left hand does not know what his right hand is doing
                        7) a man who remembers Allah when he is alone and his eyes fill with tears. [Bukhari, Muslim]


                        just men?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Temptation to stray?

                          Thanks a lot to everyone for the insightful replies, this is why I asked the question so that I can get these perspectives that otherwise I can't think of in my own mind.
                          [MENTION=115674]abcdefghij[/MENTION], Thanks for the advice brother! I've seen it and it makes some sense indeed...
                          [MENTION=60520]SimpleTraveller[/MENTION] true, spot on. I never really thought it this way. Thanks for the amazing advice!! :)
                          [MENTION=110056]Umm Uthmaan[/MENTION], Thanks a lot. Yep, that's the problem. :/ I'll follow your advice In Sha Allah!
                          [MENTION=121232]The Criterion[/MENTION], Walaikumassalam wa rahmatullahi wabarakthu, Thanks for the amazing reply and for understanding. I hope I can meet all those points! :) And thanks a lot, insha Allah I'll find something else that will benefit me. May Allah reward you too.
                          [MENTION=136493]Khan8[/MENTION], True. Thanks for the reply brother and In Sha Allah. :p
                          [MENTION=136292]ms.muslimah[/MENTION], thanks for the insightful reply! You're 100% right. That is all which is gonna matter on the day of judgement..
                          [MENTION=80176]arfatzafar[/MENTION], I wouldn't Insha Allah, thanks a lot for replying.
                          [MENTION=32590]niqaabi_nusrat[/MENTION], Insha Allah, I hope I'll be able to resist myself from such temptations in the future, Thanks for the great reply.
                          [MENTION=136016]bhshawon[/MENTION], yes.. you're right.. I'll try to get involved into some physical activities and some islamic events.
                          [MENTION=76604]drac16[/MENTION] thanks for that perspective brother! It's really helpful to see it from someone who has gone through that path. Jazakallah Khair for the reply. :)

                          So.. it's not possible to be just friends with girls? Like just as friends and as a classmate. Yes.. those people I'm talking about are Muslims. I've tried telling them once or twice, but they don't listen.. and now I feel like a hypocrite because I wanted to get involved into this too. There's a masjid right behind my junior college aka school, where I pray everyday and I pull some brothers too..

                          I generally feel the need to talk to girls. This wasn't a problem until 10th grade as my parents always admitted me in boys only schools, from christian convent to Islamic schools.. So I never had female friends, and no real life interaction at all. Even when I was in Islamic school, I had some girls added on Facebook which I was skeptical to add, and used to chat sometimes but later I felt it wasn't right due to some reason and on one day suddenly took the decision to unfriend them all. It's only in 11th and 12th grade which I'm currently studying is where I go to a coeducational Institution, which is full of fitnah and freemixing. I wish I could get married if there were avenues of getting married at this age and society. My parents won't let me and I understand the reason behind it too. Insha Allah, I pray to Allah that I'll get married at a young age, preferably right after I graduate... I don't know how I'll manage university but insha Allah i'll just cope up.

                          It's still hard, I mean even after reading everything and watching a lot of videos on YouTube in this regard, i still sometimes kind of try to make excuses and such that there is no problem in being friends or so, but I think it's the best to cut it off right from the beginning and only talk to girls only when it's necessary which ive been successful so far alhamdulillah, haven't spoken to anyone yet.

                          I'll also be joining University soon, in like 6 months or so Insha Allah. I don't know how the environment is like, but I hope I can manage then.

                          I just hope it's gonna be worth it.. :)

                          May Allah make it easy for me and everyone, and reward everyone immensely..

                          Jazakallah Khair for the amazing replies. I definitely feel a LOT better now about this. Ummah.com is my support channel whenever I need advice. :)
                          Last edited by shoebahmed; 01-02-16, 11:03 AM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Temptation to stray?

                            Its not easy at that age at all. That is why you need good friends, Muslim friends who are religious and are not involved in such activities and who will be a good influence on you.


                            And those who're muslims that engage in haram with the mentality they will enjoy themselves now and repent later, as 1 scholar put it, you are plotting against Allah . What makes you think you will even have a chance to repent or change later in life? Its allowed to have fun as long as it is halal but the ultimate enjoyment will come in the akhirah, when we will Insh'Allah, enter Paradise, and reside their for all eternity. That is true enjoyment.

                            Stay steadfast and don't fall into temptation, no matter how much you may feel you want to be doing what they are. But keep making dua to Allah and ask him for help.
                            Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

                            How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

                            Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Temptation to stray?

                              Assalam Alaikum,

                              There are some lucky people who are out of such things from the early age. I suggest you keep on reading quran increasing your knowledge towards Islam.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X