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Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

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  • Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

    Hello,

    I have a situation where I am utterly unsure what to do Islamically.

    Currently I live with my parents to save money. I currently owe debts and I am trying my best to pay them off. Living with my parents gives me a lot more money to pay these debts.

    The problem is that I do not get along with my mother and often cannot control myself, and end up disrespecting her verbally, which I hate doing. She is completely unhandlable person... utterly unlivable.

    So in Islam both debts and respect to parents is required.

    If I move out to distance myself from my parents, so that I can respect them better, then I will not be able to pay off my debts easily.

    If I stay, I will pay my debts easier, but it wills till take a few years, during which time I will fall victim to disrespecting them.

    So Islamically which is more important? Respect to parents or paying of debt?

    I HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE OR THE OTHER, because for me, I have tried 100 times... I cannot control my disrespect when it comes to my mother. It is too hard.

    Thanks for your help.

  • #2
    Re: Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

    salamu alaykum

    u might not like this advice, but stay at home and be patient. Patience is hard, but you can do it. They're ur parents, unfortunately you have to bear it there is no other way around it - your jannah's tight to them. You have to find a way to fix ur relationship with her, maybe slowly. The ability to pay ur debts of is just a bonus. But that relationship with her is more crucial in the bigger picture.

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    • #3
      Re: Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

      it is more important to respect your parents

      it is said that if Allah forgives you are forgiven

      so if you move out in order not to desrespect your parents, try your best to pay your debts but die before doing so ... Allah can and will [inshALlah] forgive

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      • #4
        Re: Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

        Originally posted by bismillaah View Post
        salamu alaykum

        u might not like this advice, but stay at home and be patient. Patience is hard, but you can do it. They're ur parents, unfortunately you have to bear it there is no other way around it - your jannah's tight to them. You have to find a way to fix ur relationship with her, maybe slowly. The ability to pay ur debts of is just a bonus. But that relationship with her is more crucial in the bigger picture.
        This
        And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
        [al-An’aam 6:59]

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        • #5
          Re: Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

          Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
          This
          Yes, but what if the best way to fix our relationship is to not be close to her, and simply visit? What if the close proximity is what's causing the problem? Wouldn't it make sense to fix the problem and move? Distance making the heart fonder?

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          • #6
            Re: Hoping for knowledgeable advice. Debt vs Parents

            Originally posted by dracon50 View Post
            Yes, but what if the best way to fix our relationship is to not be close to her, and simply visit? What if the close proximity is what's causing the problem? Wouldn't it make sense to fix the problem and move? Distance making the heart fonder?
            hmmm I understand your perspective too, but you'd need to apologise and make up before you go (if you go), and I guess staying at home would teach you patience, maybe this is part of your test. if you did move out, you'd need to visit and contact them regularly, being ur parents. its a bit of a difficult situation, have u made istikhaarah? have you spoken to her/your parents about wanting to move away, and were they okay with this?
            And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
            [al-An’aam 6:59]

            Comment

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