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Giving Advice

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  • #1

    Giving Advice

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته


    Two incidents happened to me recently that i cant get over, please tell me if what i did was right or wrong.

    1) I was at the airport picking someone up and i saw the big group of women (Kafir foreigners) who were not dressed appropriately in a coffee shop and two shopkeepers from the stores across from the coffee shop were both leaning against a wall and staring at the women in silence (all googly eyed). So while i walked passed them i gave them the hand singal to look down with a smile ( pointing two fingers downward as in to lower gaze) they got the message and one said "Insha Allah".. they were both my countrymen/muslims and i did not stop walking to talk to them it was really quick.

    2) This guy that comes to fajr prayer has his watch alarm go off literally for 30 seconds without ending it himself (one click) for the past 2-3 weeks ever single day. I never got the chance to be next to him so that i could talk to him after salaat and he leaves the masjd fairly quickly after salaat (prob to his fam). So today i got the chance to pray next to him and after salaat i said " Salaam ami (uncle), did you know that you are allowed to take your phone out of your pocket and stop it ringing if your in salaat? so i am sure u can do that with your watch" .. i said it a bit nicer than this but he looked really upset and confused in turn made me feel horrible... So basically i gave the man a fatwa now that i am thinking about it astghfurallah and i could also be wrong about this ruling.



    I have been on the receiving end of harshness when giving advice so i kind of know how it feels but now it seems i have done it to others.. should i just shut up and mind my own biz? Was my advice even accurate/correct ?

    I never give advice like this but i came to the understanding that we should correct mistakes with our hands or mouths ,etc (if i understood the hadith well)... also Allah swt told Musa AS to be soft and gentle in His Invitation when talking to firaaon .....the ayah that says to invite in the way of Allah swt with hikmah..... lastly the hadith which states not to advise a brother in public because that makes him look ugly so you should advice him in private...

    لكم جزيل الشكر والاحترام
    جزاكم الله خيرا
    Last edited by Ibn Taleb; 12-11-15, 05:40 AM.
    youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your deathhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgE...kS-Qi3nf3tcvPw
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  • #2
    Wa alikum alsalam w rahamtullah w barakatu

    “You (true believers in Islamic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah) are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden), and you believe in Allaah” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:110]

    It's your obligation as a Muslim to enjoin good and forbid evil. Obviously you are supposed to call to way of your lord with wisdom and kindness as the ayah says and from my point of view you were nice about what you said and did on both occasions. The people of bani Israel were spoken about in the Quran and they were criticized for seeing the wrong doing of their people and not enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.

    I don't know about being able to stop ringing during the salah i don't have a fatwa on that but he should turn it off before hand so it doesn't disturb those praying around him. I've read in the past that even reading Quran out loud while people are praying is forbidden because of the disruption it causes and people are supposed to be warned against doing that during the salah.

    Not advising in public means not to embarrass people by exposing their faults in front of others. So creating a scene by yelling or calling others to get involved is something forbidden. The way you described it seems like you advised them in a way where others around them wouldn't really notice.

    May Allah guide us all to what's best

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    • #3
      Re: Giving Advice

      MaashaaAllah. Alhamdilillah. It was nice how you gestured to those brothers. When it comes to elders, they can be a lot more easily offended I guess.
      LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
      -------------------------------
      "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
      NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

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      • #4
        Re: Giving Advice

        Originally posted by tigress777 View Post
        Wa alikum alsalam w rahamtullah w barakatu

        “You (true believers in Islamic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah) are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden), and you believe in Allaah” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:110]

        It's your obligation as a Muslim to enjoin good and forbid evil. Obviously you are supposed to call to way of your lord with wisdom and kindness as the ayah says and from my point of view you were nice about what you said and did on both occasions. The people of bani Israel were spoken about in the Quran and they were criticized for seeing the wrong doing of their people and not enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.

        I don't know about being able to stop ringing during the salah i don't have a fatwa on that but he should turn it off before hand so it doesn't disturb those praying around him. I've read in the past that even reading Quran out loud while people are praying is forbidden because of the disruption it causes and people are supposed to be warned against doing that during the salah.

        Not advising in public means not to embarrass people by exposing their faults in front of others. So creating a scene by yelling or calling others to get involved is something forbidden. The way you described it seems like you advised them in a way where others around them wouldn't really notice.

        May Allah guide us all to what's best
        Salaam

        Yes the first one maybe (airport) i could have maybe said a few words instead of doing a hand signal i dont know.. may main concern is the guy with the watch alarm in the masjid, i gave him a fatwa which i dont know is 100% and i shouldnt be giving fatwas to my own pleasure. This is what worried me the most.

        i would rep u but i cant cause i recently repped u for something else ... Jzk Allah Khayr

        Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
        MaashaaAllah. Alhamdilillah. It was nice how you gestured to those brothers. When it comes to elders, they can be a lot more easily offended I guess.
        Salaam

        he was older than me but like i said brrother its been going on for nearly a month every saalat! You are a 100% right about elders and i never ever give them advice i would never want a kid telling me how to live my life. The masjid joins two different neighborhoods so he and i don't live relatively close to each other but his neighbors who pray with us (Maulvi/Mutawa,wtever) never told him to stop which either makes me wrong or them for not speaking up.. but the fatwa i feel was uncalled for and making me feel really bad and im not trying to act modest or anything, i honestly want to know if what i did was right or wrong for future purposes.

        jzk Allah khayr brother
        Last edited by Ibn Taleb; 12-11-15, 10:42 AM.
        youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your deathhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgE...kS-Qi3nf3tcvPw

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Giving Advice

          Wa Alaykumussalam
          It's good that you advised, because we're told to enjoin the good, and forbid the evil. It can be easier just ignoring it, but it's better to tell them, because in the long term, insha ' allah it will be better for them. Sometimes people can be taken aback by this, but really what matters, is the manner that you tell the people in. So perhaps going up to the people and explaining politely/in good manners why they should lower the gaze etc. They'll understand this way, and respect you for doing so. Similar thing in the Masjid as well. You sound like you did fine, so don't worry, brother.
          And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record�
          [al-An�aam 6:59]

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Giving Advice

            Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
            Wa Alaykumussalam
            It's good that you advised, because we're told to enjoin the good, and forbid the evil. It can be easier just ignoring it, but it's better to tell them, because in the long term, insha ' allah it will be better for them. Sometimes people can be taken aback by this, but really what matters, is the manner that you tell the people in. So perhaps going up to the people and explaining politely/in good manners why they should lower the gaze etc. They'll understand this way, and respect you for doing so. Similar thing in the Masjid as well. You sound like you did fine, so don't worry, brother.
            السلام

            Insha Allah I hope that it was enjoyning good and forbidding evil
            youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your deathhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgE...kS-Qi3nf3tcvPw

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