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  • Shaking hands with the opposite gender

    I really hate to be in a situation when a man from the opposite gender offers to shake my hand.
    I just freeze then I just shake their hand I know it's haram but being in the situation I really
    don't know what to do or say to them.

  • #2
    Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

    I do the exact same thing sis.
    So can someone please advice the ruling on this
    Like when got a job interview, the opposite gender offers to shake hand, what are we supposed to do?
    OP same here, I just end up shaking it, because I'm confused like what else am I supposed to do/say to them then...
    But I've heard its haram too, so its confusing
    I used to think well it seems rude if I don't, and its not biggie since I gotta, and my intention is known etc..but even so, maybe that's just making excuses to legitimise it in my head
    Insha ' Allah someone can shed more light on this.
    And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
    [al-An’aam 6:59]

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    • #3
      Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

      its haram to shake hands. you put your hands to your side n say "sorry i dont shake hands i hope you dont get offended"


      It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

      Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.


      It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”

      Narrated by Muslim, 1866

      This infallible one, the best of mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women. This is despite the fact that the oath of allegiance was originally given by hand. So how about men other than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)?

      It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”

      Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (4181) and Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513.
      Ibn Muflih said:

      Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Imam Ahmad – was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. He said, No, and was emphatic that it is haraam. I said, Should he shake hands with her from beneath his garment? He said, No.
      Last edited by *aisha*; 21-09-15, 08:10 PM.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Aladhha View Post
        I really hate to be in a situation when a man from the opposite gender offers to shake my hand.
        I just freeze then I just shake their hand I know it's haram but being in the situation I really
        don't know what to do or say to them.
        Imagine that feelin but a 100x worse when ur about to die
        [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
        [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

        [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

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        • #5
          Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

          Just say 'sorry I do not shake hands, it is a religious thing' and just move the conversation along..you wear hijab, I am sure they will understand and if they do not then they can do their research, what if this brings them closer to Islam ?

          I noticed a growing trend in America where people hate shaking hands due to germs...so handshaking might die out..lols
          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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          • #6
            Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

            Funny story, When I was a kid and just moved to Pakistan my family had a few guests over (my cousins in laws). My dad called me down stairs to say salam and so I went down stairs and said salam and started shaking hands with everyone. My female cousin knew me well and knew that I was from America and didn't know that you aren't supposed to shake hands with everyone so she just smiled and shook hands. And i went around the room shaking hands with everyone. Every women who I shook hands with just started looking at me weird but still shook hands. Until I got to this one girl that was my age and I said salam and put my hand forward to shake her hand. She just started to stare at me while I had my hand in front of her. My dad was laughing in the background and my cousins in laws were smiling. I was just thinking what's wrong with her, why does she have an attitude against me when I've never met her before. Eventually she shakes hands and I go back upstairs. After they left my dad explained that you're not supposed to shake hands with everyone, particularly the women and that you can just say salam verbally. And I was like oooooooh. Was very awkward for me.

            Over here in america women don't shake hands, they just hug you out of nowhere. It gets awkward and weird.

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            • #7
              Shaking hands with the opposite gender

              I know it gets v difficult but Allah before people
              Think of many rewards for seeking Allah's pleasure by following His commandments
              Best Dhikr is :lailah:
              :inlove:
              (Hadith)

              We have one JUST ONE book yet we don't give attention to it

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              • #8
                Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                .......

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                  Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
                  I do the exact same thing sis.
                  So can someone please advice the ruling on this
                  Like when got a job interview, the opposite gender offers to shake hand, what are we supposed to do?
                  OP same here, I just end up shaking it, because I'm confused like what else am I supposed to do/say to them then...
                  But I've heard its haram too, so its confusing
                  I used to think well it seems rude if I don't, and its not biggie since I gotta, and my intention is known etc..but even so, maybe that's just making excuses to legitimise it in my head
                  Insha ' Allah someone can shed more light on this.
                  yeah, it's like I don't want to appear rude or anything by refusing to shake their hands.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                    you should feel happy every time you refuse to do so, because you fought the shaytaan

                    anyway a muslimah shouldn't even be in such a situation where a strange man can offer his hand.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                      If you start to get in the habit of refusing, it becomes second nature. The first refusals are hardest.

                      If the man is a Muslim: Go yell at him! Why is he trying to shake your hand!? Talk some sense into that guy, if he's a Muslim you really have no excuses of handshaking.

                      If the man is not a Muslim: If you feel a "handshake is approaching" then keep your hands busy, I will grab my phone or hold my purse like a clutch, whatever to make it look like I'm not even available for that. If they still insist I politely refuse and explain short and brief that: Muslim women don't shake hands with men.

                      It's really that simple, they actually feel more embarassed for offering, and I had a guy apologize for like 5 minutes straight about it. For every man's hands you shake, is another guy I have to refuse later...so in the end you make it harder for your fellow sisters since that guy clearly didn't learn the lesson. Also I don't like re-doing my wudu, I guard my wudu like it's gold...if I'm going to lose my wudu it's NEVER going to be from some guy I don't know.

                      Speaking of handshaking, I hate when I get change back and the cashier insists on somehow trying to find a way to touch my hands to put the money in. I need to find a clever trick to that...don't say gloves, it's still hot I can't find any. I guess I'm mean because I've scolded men for doing that (it's a Muslim country so they should know better). So please don't shake mens hands, learning how to say no in a polite way is another step to your own souls freedom of expression. Demand your rights, REFUSE THE HANDS.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                        Originally posted by Anthanasia View Post
                        If you start to get in the habit of refusing, it becomes second nature. The first refusals are hardest.

                        If the man is a Muslim: Go yell at him! Why is he trying to shake your hand!? Talk some sense into that guy, if he's a Muslim you really have no excuses of handshaking.

                        If the man is not a Muslim: If you feel a "handshake is approaching" then keep your hands busy, I will grab my phone or hold my purse like a clutch, whatever to make it look like I'm not even available for that. If they still insist I politely refuse and explain short and brief that: Muslim women don't shake hands with men.

                        It's really that simple, they actually feel more embarassed for offering, and I had a guy apologize for like 5 minutes straight about it. For every man's hands you shake, is another guy I have to refuse later...so in the end you make it harder for your fellow sisters since that guy clearly didn't learn the lesson. Also I don't like re-doing my wudu, I guard my wudu like it's gold...if I'm going to lose my wudu it's NEVER going to be from some guy I don't know.

                        Speaking of handshaking, I hate when I get change back and the cashier insists on somehow trying to find a way to touch my hands to put the money in. I need to find a clever trick to that...don't say gloves, it's still hot I can't find any. I guess I'm mean because I've scolded men for doing that (it's a Muslim country so they should know better). So please don't shake mens hands, learning how to say no in a polite way is another step to your own souls freedom of expression. Demand your rights, REFUSE THE HANDS.
                        I guess wearing gloves is easier then you don't have to explain yourself! but only if it's winter lol

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                          Funny you bring this up today..had a proper awkward moment..

                          Whilst paying the toll charge on the river Severn crossing, I happened to go drive to a counter with a female attendant.

                          When I tried paying her without our hands touching as I normally do, she took a chunk of my hand, literally!!

                          The worst is when I tried giving her the dirty looks to let her know how I felt, she didn't even seem bothered!!

                          Cringeeworthy..
                          وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمۡ ءَامِنُواْ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلنَّاسُ قَالُوٓاْ أَنُؤۡمِنُ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ*ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّهُمۡ هُمُ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا يَعۡلَمُونَ


                          And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: Shall we believe as the foolish believe? Beware! They indeed are the foolish? But they know not.
                          Al Baqarah : Verse 13

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                          • #14
                            Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                            I don't usually make contact with anyone, many people don't offer a hand shake now days, unless its in a formal setting.

                            I had a similar experience when I went to Pakistan. My aunties and if I'm not mistaken, female cousins hugged me and my brother when we arrived. It was such a cringe worthy experience which I dreaded. I like my personal space and come from a family that doesn't show much emotion and no hugging etc. so I despise all those things, makes me very uncomfortable. But in a formal setting, it doesn't seem to bother me, maybe because its socially expected ?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Shaking hands with the opposite gender

                              Where i live it's pretty much expected that men shake hands with women ALWAYS. I've never like to shakes hands with a women even as a kaffir,I got into trouble in school for that attitude and lots of arguements with people. Your seen as a male chauvinist if you refuse to shake hands with a women. Feminism has run amok in N.America. Western feminist women get VERY upset if you refuse to shake their hands. They will always cry gender discrimination

                              People of European backgrounds especially northern and eastern europe shake hands differently than many New Canadians. In N.America you learn to have a "firm grip" but I've noticed Europeans attempt to crush every bone in your hand with their grip,Asians and Africans tend to give the "Dead fish flop" style of handshaking like a women. That's pretty annoying and awkward.

                              I also don't like taking change from women due to hand contact,I find silently pointing to the counter usually works if they don't get the hint I will say "put it down" in a firm tone.
                              Don't smile while saying it,when you smile people tend not to take what you are saying as serious.

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