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Is my MOM treat me right?

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  • Is my MOM treat me right?

    Me and my brother came for vacation. We were abroad. I am the youngest one. He is married ,have kids and I am single. The thing is my mom always gives preference to my elder brother. She keep special food for him and she even give instructions to eat less otherwise my brother might not have enough to eat. She kinda avoide me or o feel like a kind of discrimination. I never felt like this before and she never treated me like this. Its not because I am a foody but I feel sad on her behavior towards me. Now comes the important part. I came home loosing my job and I am in a huge debt and at a time where i am financially struggling like never before. My marriage getting delayed i am in my late 20s. The funniest part is my parents were not like this when I had money and all. She was literally running after me to have food and all. And I remember i always stood for them when my brother was against them once and I still. Its not just my thinking. I genuinely they intentionally doing because they know they don't get any benefit in the near future. I just wonder if somebody hears this what they would think about my mom. Any advises for me?

    Jazalallahu khair

  • #2
    Re: Is my MOM treat me right?


    This is a big dilema. Please give time. Most of the members are asleep so be patient. am just a simple nomad.

    Ephemeral reader


    • #3
      Re: Is my MOM treat me right?

      Asalamu Alaykum brother
      It's hard for us to judge exactly what someone is like from this perspective
      Your mother could be treating you like this due to the lack of money you have, Insha ' Allah this isn't the case. Or it may be other factors
      The best thing you can do brother, is speak to your mum about this, in the best possible way
      Just tell her how you've been feeling recently, and just talk to her properly about this, in a nice way. And see what she says

      Another thing is parents sometimes don't realise when they are differentiating between children, and that they are treating one child better than the other.. Insha ' Allah when we are all blessed with children, we are able to treat them equally and fairly, with Allah S.W.T guidance.
      She might give preference as he is married, kids, etc, arguably more responsibilities, so she is trying to ease his burden, and not realise that it's preference. And maybe the food, she just wants you both to have half and half, and just making you aware he hasn't eaten.

      Keep making Du'aa and actively searching for jobs, for your own future. Have patience too, Insha ' Allah a god job will come along. We're tested In different ways, and things can take time.. Also, if you want to get married, speak to your parents about this, as you mentioned that you're marriage is getting delayed. If by that you mean as you cant financially provide, well no rush or pressure, Insha ' Allah find a job first brother, so that you can provide, doesn't need to be a high paying job, and the best weddings are the simplest anyway.

      Insha ' Allah everything works out for you. Just remember to talk to your mum about this, in a good way. Perhaps when she's explained her perspective, whatever it may be, it will make more sense for you. Better than letting doubts creep in your head like the OP, which may not be true, better to seek clarification.
      And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
      [al-An’aam 6:59]


      • #4
        Re: Is my MOM treat me right?

        As soon as you get a job, move out of your parents' place.
        The Lyme Disease pandemic:


        • #5
          Re: Is my MOM treat me right?

          My mom favours my brother up and above us all, we know it, she knows it, but we don't care because despite favouring him she attempts to treat us equally and is successful majority of the time. The issue here is that whereas my mom is able to favour my bro for w.e reason she attempts to not show it while your mom flaunts it. Obviously that builds resentment and is in fact haram for her to do so. It could be that she is not aware of what she is doing or she doesn't care. I hope it's lack of awareness, in which case you can discus it with her and :insha: it will end. Also parents, generally, tend to treat married children who give them grand babies better in comparison to singles who not only commit the horrible crime of being single/childless but add to it by being dependent financially on them in adulthood.
          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya


          • #6
            Re: Is my MOM treat me right?

            Jealousy amongst siblings is very common.. Parents favouring one child more than the other is also common. Stop seeking attention from your mother and aim for respect. Get a job and show them you're responsible and make them proud of what you've become.

            You can't force people to respect you.. You must earn it.
            I love you, cherish you and worship you,
            Guide me on your path to your janna,
            Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,



            • #7
              Re: Is my MOM treat me right?

              this is indeed unfair treatment but what can u do; she is your mum so patience is the way forward