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How to deal with arrogant relatives

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  • How to deal with arrogant relatives

    Salaam,
    I wanted to ask this question for a while its regarding relatives. I come from an educated family and a lot of my family members are doctors. Anyhow, some of my relatives that are doctors are arrogant. Some of them don't even want to talk to you, they won't look at you, and don't even want to invite you to anywhere. Just recently one of my distant cousins my age just got married, and my family and I were hurt when we weren't invited to her wedding but they invited all of my other family members because they are doctors. In fact some of my cousins and their parents are not talking to me anymore because I am not in medical school becoming a doctor. I just don't get it why do they have to be so mean. They have great jobs, great houses, nice cars, nice lavish lifestyles, why do they have to be so mean and harsh to people like me who are not doctors? Anyhow, I don't like dealing with this arrogant relatives, and I know in Islam we have to keep ties with them, but I just don't know how to deal with this. Any advice?

  • #2
    Re: How to deal with arrogant relatives

    As you are not really in contact with them, I guess there is not much to deal with. Be decent and do your part.

    I know how you feel though but you just got it get on with it. A few months back some guy asked if I was a doctor and when I said no he walked away in disgust. To be fair to him I was in a doctor's surgery sitting in one of the rooms behind the desk but still it hurt you know. I've got feelings.

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    • #3
      Re: How to deal with arrogant relatives

      http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/1/612


      They are forfeiting their place in Jannah with their attitudes. No loss to you but a huge loss to them.

      I find it Ironic that doctors would be so afflicted with a disease of the heart. Don't severe the ties of kinship but keep some distance between you and them as arrogance can be infectious and you don't want to end up with them in the hellfire.

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      • #4
        Re: How to deal with arrogant relatives

        Move on, say salam when you see them and be on your way. And try to get tougher, not everyone in this world is nice or a decent human being unfortunately.

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        • #5
          Re: How to deal with arrogant relatives

          Just say salaam and be courteous with them, nice friendly etc. You don't have to talk lots with them or hang around them a lot. I know how you feel, I think most of us will unfortunately have some relatives a little alike to these. and control your anger, just let whatever they say pass you. you know its not true regarding jobs etc. its sad how our society cares so much about academics these days, sometimes at the expense of religion. It's worrying.

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          • #6
            Re: How to deal with arrogant relatives

            I'm sarcastic, I'd sip tea delicately in china with my finger and nose in the air so that they can try to get on my level. All jokes aside...

            I'm amazed that people think that what they have around them will stay even one day. If we are intelligent, it's because Allah swt gave us this to borrow and he can take it back whenever Allah feels like it. Being ungrateful and unempathetic to people is a fast way to lose everything around you. I'm reminded of a man I've met, who was one of the most prominent lawyers of the area, (he is a good Muslim) now he has dementia, and essentially lost all of his intelligence. Everything is such a precious gift, I'm sad for these people you know.

            I'd just pity them, they could lose their hereafter that way for something so low, are they really so satified that easily by the dunya? I know Allah swt has something waiting for us better in jennah, and if people lived life like that...wow this world would be so different. As everyone said be kind to them as they have rights of kindness from you, but pity them as well...make du'aa their soul is getting a little too lost in the dunya.
            Also know that medicine does kill off some of your emotions and you get immune and cold easily if you are not careful. I was a medic, seeing blood doesn't even spark a reaction and I'm sad to see how desensitized I am to things and I'm not even a doctor! They choose a career that has a side-effect of making you unfeeling so this is also not a surprise. Allah help us all.

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            • #7
              Re: How to deal with arrogant relatives

              op i feel for you big time i got plenty of them too and its so annoying and makes you go crazy..............for me its like how to deal with guests FULL STOP, come any go as they please sooo annoying

              ok rant over...........seriously sis just try and ignore it as much as you can, i know its easier said than but we gotta try atleast :)

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              • #8
                How to deal with arrogant :

                Walaikum assalam warahmatullah

                whenever you meet them, you should say Salaam as it is Sunnah and move on..... You should ignore them in a nice way...
                I would like to mention here some great scholars' suggestions in this regard...

                a group of scholars mentioned that arrogance to an arrogant person (الكبر على المتكبر) is an exception to the arrogance which was prohibited in Islamic texts.
                Imam Shafi (r) said that
                "Be arrogant to an arrogant person twice.”

                Az-Zuhri is quoted to have said, “Arrogance to an arrogant person is one of the basic principles of Islam.”

                You need to understand that this approach is adopted so that the arrogant person does not continue with his arrogance and error, because if he sees the humbleness of the humble people this will deceive and allure him. These scholars did not mean arrogance which is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people. In any case, it is better to deal with arrogance by advice and reminding the person of Allah the Exalted.

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