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  • I Need Serious Help

    I am 24 years old and my I have been struggling with OCD since I was 8 years old. It is ruining my life and iman so much. I can't focus on my salah whatsoever when it becomes a problem. My heart feels like it is made of stone and have sluggish iman until I do my Obsessive compulsives. I feel I have to go back into the masjid wearing the same clothes doing the same thing or else I start to panic. I have made so much dua I feel nothing from my heart. My younger siblings are so disrespectful and spoiled I feel like shaytan encourages them to do what they can to make my life even harder. I cry very little for allah, unless everything is perfect I cant make salah properly . I feel this shingle type pain I'm body like I am destined for hellfire. I've made so much dua but I feel nothing . I feel allah hates me . I know allah wants to make everything easy but whenever
    I stand in salah I feel none of it will be accepted and I will be of the losers in the akhira. everytime I make salah or recite a surah it is heedless no matter what unless I go back to the masjid and do those obsessive compulsives. I start to puke whenever I make tahbaw because I feel allah hates me so much. I cannot cry for allah anymore. I've been listening so much to quran .I feel on the day of judgement I will meet a displeased allah. my siblings dispise me and will not help me and almost love to antagonize me. My mom will almost never stop cursing my dad unnecessarily. I keep telling her to stop being arrogant as nice as I can so we can repel that shaytans from our home. I feel so hopeless I just want to be the best muslim I can be but no one in my family seems to respect my condition or want to help they have thier friends and reputation to worry about it seems, they will never calm the noise when I ask so I can try to do salah, I feel like if were to die in this state I will be in hell fire because I havnt made a proper salah in a long time!

  • #2
    Re: I Need Serious Help

    Originally posted by muslim9012 View Post
    I am 24 years old and my I have been struggling with OCD since I was 8 years old. It is ruining my life and iman so much. I can't focus on my salah whatsoever when it becomes a problem. My heart feels like it is made of stone and have sluggish iman until I do my Obsessive compulsives. I feel I have to go back into the masjid wearing the same clothes doing the same thing or else I start to panic. I have made so much dua I feel nothing from my heart. My younger siblings are so disrespectful and spoiled I feel like shaytan encourages them to do what they can to make my life even harder. I cry very little for allah, unless everything is perfect I cant make salah properly . I feel this shingle type pain I'm body like I am destined for hellfire. I've made so much dua but I feel nothing . I feel allah hates me . I know allah wants to make everything easy but whenever
    I stand in salah I feel none of it will be accepted and I will be of the losers in the akhira. everytime I make salah or recite a surah it is heedless no matter what unless I go back to the masjid and do those obsessive compulsives. I start to puke whenever I make tahbaw because I feel allah hates me so much. I cannot cry for allah anymore. I've been listening so much to quran .I feel on the day of judgement I will meet a displeased allah. my siblings dispise me and will not help me and almost love to antagonize me. My mom will almost never stop cursing my dad unnecessarily. I keep telling her to stop being arrogant as nice as I can so we can repel that shaytans from our home. I feel so hopeless I just want to be the best muslim I can be but no one in my family seems to respect my condition or want to help they have thier friends and reputation to worry about it seems, they will never calm the noise when I ask so I can try to do salah, I feel like if were to die in this state I will be in hell fire because I havnt made a proper salah in a long time!
    Ah salam wa laikum my brother.
    I'm going to have a look online for something to help you fight against the ocd.. Let's see what we can do Insha'Allah.. Gimmi 5

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I Need Serious Help

      Originally posted by muslim9012 View Post
      I am 24 years old and my I have been struggling with OCD since I was 8 years old. It is ruining my life and iman so much. I can't focus on my salah whatsoever when it becomes a problem. My heart feels like it is made of stone and have sluggish iman until I do my Obsessive compulsives. I feel I have to go back into the masjid wearing the same clothes doing the same thing or else I start to panic. I have made so much dua I feel nothing from my heart. My younger siblings are so disrespectful and spoiled I feel like shaytan encourages them to do what they can to make my life even harder. I cry very little for allah, unless everything is perfect I cant make salah properly . I feel this shingle type pain I'm body like I am destined for hellfire. I've made so much dua but I feel nothing . I feel allah hates me . I know allah wants to make everything easy but whenever
      I stand in salah I feel none of it will be accepted and I will be of the losers in the akhira. everytime I make salah or recite a surah it is heedless no matter what unless I go back to the masjid and do those obsessive compulsives. I start to puke whenever I make tahbaw because I feel allah hates me so much. I cannot cry for allah anymore. I've been listening so much to quran .I feel on the day of judgement I will meet a displeased allah. my siblings dispise me and will not help me and almost love to antagonize me. My mom will almost never stop cursing my dad unnecessarily. I keep telling her to stop being arrogant as nice as I can so we can repel that shaytans from our home. I feel so hopeless I just want to be the best muslim I can be but no one in my family seems to respect my condition or want to help they have thier friends and reputation to worry about it seems, they will never calm the noise when I ask so I can try to do salah, I feel like if were to die in this state I will be in hell fire because I havnt made a proper salah in a long time!
      Right bro, there's way to much to copy and paste so my suggestion is to type ocd self help into Google and go with the flow as there's loads of helpful sites, free e books and so on. Insha'Allah this helps bro

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I Need Serious Help

        Originally posted by muslim9012 View Post
        I am 24 years old and my I have been struggling with OCD since I was 8 years old. It is ruining my life and iman so much. I can't focus on my salah whatsoever when it becomes a problem. My heart feels like it is made of stone and have sluggish iman until I do my Obsessive compulsives. I feel I have to go back into the masjid wearing the same clothes doing the same thing or else I start to panic. I have made so much dua I feel nothing from my heart. My younger siblings are so disrespectful and spoiled I feel like shaytan encourages them to do what they can to make my life even harder. I cry very little for allah, unless everything is perfect I cant make salah properly . I feel this shingle type pain I'm body like I am destined for hellfire. I've made so much dua but I feel nothing . I feel allah hates me . I know allah wants to make everything easy but whenever
        I stand in salah I feel none of it will be accepted and I will be of the losers in the akhira. everytime I make salah or recite a surah it is heedless no matter what unless I go back to the masjid and do those obsessive compulsives. I start to puke whenever I make tahbaw because I feel allah hates me so much. I cannot cry for allah anymore. I've been listening so much to quran .I feel on the day of judgement I will meet a displeased allah. my siblings dispise me and will not help me and almost love to antagonize me. My mom will almost never stop cursing my dad unnecessarily. I keep telling her to stop being arrogant as nice as I can so we can repel that shaytans from our home. I feel so hopeless I just want to be the best muslim I can be but no one in my family seems to respect my condition or want to help they have thier friends and reputation to worry about it seems, they will never calm the noise when I ask so I can try to do salah, I feel like if were to die in this state I will be in hell fire because I havnt made a proper salah in a long time!
        http://islamandpsychology.blogspot.c...d-waswaas.html

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I Need Serious Help

          I have done so much research on it I have made so much dua I will never give up insha allah I feel my bad deeds will out weigh my good deeds by such a far margin ill be in jahanam for a long time I cant live with this guilt I feel like jins spit on me all the time( I know that sounds weird but ive had scary experiences with jins before) can you guys make dua for me and dua for my family pls. I don't understand how I can just ignore this waswasah. I feel like I am doomed unless I keep up with these silly rituals to clear my mind and heart.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I Need Serious Help

            Asalamu Alaykum brother, Insha ' Allah more people will reply to this thread, who are more knowledgable about OCD, and can provide better advice than me. I read the OP, and the comment above, and from I have understood, you have done research on this, and continually make Du'aa. Now those two factors are important for obvious reasons, so I wont go into detail about those, since your already doing them, so carry on. As it is important for you to understand your condition of OCD to the best of your ability, and ofcourse turn to Allah S.W.T, so that Insha ' Allah you are cured.

            I just wanted to say brother, that majority of what you wrote on the OP, you do realise that you can't help thinking this right? This is out of your control. It is not something that you choose to think, at all, as far as I am aware. And I want to ask you something. Do we think we are accountable for thoughts or actions that are out of our control? For example, when one has a condition and thinks/acts a certain way due to it brother, will they be held accountable for their actions. No! And you know why I say this, your thought processes are part of the OCD. As my brother in Islam, I genuinely want to tell you not to worry so much, if you can help it, because I cant even begin to imagine how much this is getting you down.

            I probably don't have a lot to add to this, but in life we are all given tests, but indeed we are not given more than we can bare. Have you visited the doctor about the OCD brother? Because I assume there are meds to help, and also therapy. I know people who have gone through this, and therapy especially for OCD, can be a great help, Alhamdulillah. So I'd advice that you make an appointment with the doctor. And regarding your parents ignoring your condition, do you want to me to be honest...This is a problem that the Ummah of today face, I have seen it with a lot of parents brother, acting as if their childs condition doesn't exist, as if that will 'somehow make it better', when ofcourse it should be the contrary.

            It is wearing down your Iman and life so much brother, so seriously why not seek professional help for it? Insha ' Allah they can advice and guide you, even if it manages to help a little bit, that is better than staying how you currently are right.. What I mean is that Du'aa is the most powerful tool, and at the same time, we are expected to seek help by other means aswell. By way of an example...ofcourse we make Du'aa before sitting our exams right...but we are also expected to put in our own efforts, that Allah S.W.T can record, such as revising before the exam.

            And I know what you mean about feeling you have to wear the same clothes or do the same thing in the Masjid. Want to know something...that is absolutely fine. You yourself know that, that is a key symptom of OCD, and you have been created like this, by Allah S.W.T. He understands your condition better than anyone, and Insha ' Allah you will not be held to account for that, which Is beyond your means to control. Also, you worry a lot about your imam. And that's a good thing. You know a problem in our society...people pray and think well I'm going to Jannat, I'm safe, but really when you're worrying about your prayer, even when your sriving your hardest to pray in the best possible manner, indeed that is a beautiful thing.

            Regarding your siblings, sometimes it is the nature of siblings to be like this, and perhaps they do not understand your condition. Maybe if the doctor speaks to your parents, etc, they will believe more from a professional as opposed to you...which seems to be the case in today's society. And do not feel that your lord hates you, because infact greater tests are sometimes linked to higher levels of Imam, and Insha ' Allah will make you stronger. Try to be positive, and change that though to, I am being tested because my lord loves me, and that your strength and Imam will rise Insha ' Allah.

            And you feel like you are destined for hellfire, etc, and you cannot help thinking like this! Also, the sahabas at the time of our beloved Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, when a new verse was revealed, they would also worry as to whether this was regarding them, from what I've heard. Allah S.W.T knows best. So the trait that you have just shows how concerned you truly are, and do you think that when Allah S.W.T created you, he did not understand or know of your struggles? Ofcourse he did.

            I know what you mean about parents arguing and antagonising each other, and it's truly not right nice..I can totally sympthise with that. But aslong as you try to advice them, whethet they take heed it upto them. And you know...if you are from an Asian family, then I will be honest, sadly these days so many do prioritise reputation and what other people think... I have seen it happen so many times. Even when their own child is suffering. But brother I want this to make you be stronger! I mean... there are hundreds of thousands of users on UF, and we are ALL here for you! Insha ' Allah. So never feel as if you are alone.

            Again, you cant help feeling that you haven't made proper salah, and doing the same rituals. I know no matter how much you research this condition and understand that most of your symptoms are classical OCD, you will still not beable to help thinking the way you do right... So constant Du'aa. And do you feel okay making a doctors appointment and visiting a doctor brother? Because I really feel like you can benefit from professional help Insha ' Allah. I know you might be thinking.... well how can they help. But I do know of similar situations to yours, and how much it helped people who went to therapy! Because you know those docs...they truly understand what you're going through, and have come up with techniques to help you.

            And regarding feeling needing to do everything in a certain way etc, at the moment, that is part of who you are. So don't fight it, till you get help, Insha ' Allah. I am sorry that this message is so long! And I feel like I haven't been of much help, and been going round in circles... lol. But please do reply on this thread, and keep us updated as to what is going on etc. So that all of us can help you Insha ' Allah. You cant help feeling the need to keep up with these rituals, it IS part of how you have been created, okay.

            Insha ' Allah I will make Du'aa
            And Allah S.W.T knows best
            And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
            [al-An’aam 6:59]

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I Need Serious Help

              Originally posted by muslim9012 View Post
              I am 24 years old and my I have been struggling with OCD since I was 8 years old. It is ruining my life and iman so much. I can't focus on my salah whatsoever when it becomes a problem. My heart feels like it is made of stone and have sluggish iman until I do my Obsessive compulsives. I feel I have to go back into the masjid wearing the same clothes doing the same thing or else I start to panic. I have made so much dua I feel nothing from my heart. My younger siblings are so disrespectful and spoiled I feel like shaytan encourages them to do what they can to make my life even harder. I cry very little for allah, unless everything is perfect I cant make salah properly . I feel this shingle type pain I'm body like I am destined for hellfire. I've made so much dua but I feel nothing . I feel allah hates me . I know allah wants to make everything easy but whenever
              I stand in salah I feel none of it will be accepted and I will be of the losers in the akhira. everytime I make salah or recite a surah it is heedless no matter what unless I go back to the masjid and do those obsessive compulsives. I start to puke whenever I make tahbaw because I feel allah hates me so much. I cannot cry for allah anymore. I've been listening so much to quran .I feel on the day of judgement I will meet a displeased allah. my siblings dispise me and will not help me and almost love to antagonize me. My mom will almost never stop cursing my dad unnecessarily. I keep telling her to stop being arrogant as nice as I can so we can repel that shaytans from our home. I feel so hopeless I just want to be the best muslim I can be but no one in my family seems to respect my condition or want to help they have thier friends and reputation to worry about it seems, they will never calm the noise when I ask so I can try to do salah, I feel like if were to die in this state I will be in hell fire because I havnt made a proper salah in a long time!
              commented above brother, I forgot to quote this
              And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
              [al-An’aam 6:59]

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I Need Serious Help

                Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
                commented above brother, I forgot to quote this
                http://www.missionislam.com/health/c...vedisorder.htm
                Insha Allah I will defeat the shaytan and Insha Allah my families heart will become softer. May Allah have mercy on all of the muslims on the day of judgement and forgive our faults and Insha Allah enter us into his Jannah.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I Need Serious Help

                  Originally posted by muslim9012 View Post
                  Thank you all for the reply. My problems were fine whenever my family would help me out ,I never could have got this far in life without there support. Ever since my siblings got got their licenses they let shaytan get the best of them, they are no longer the ppl they were two years ago. I was once falsely arrested because I was mistaken for one of them. I try to explain that that was one of Allah's(swt) ways of showing them that their ignorance affects others. My dad thinks being a good parent is just giving them whatever they want. I don't mean to exposing their faults. I don't think they understand what I go through , I assume how a really athletic fit person doesn't understand what it's like to not do a single sit up. Nobody listens to anyone , they give me dirty looks all the time, I feel like we will have the hardest time on the day of judgement. I know life is a test. I wish I can go back in time and have a professional explain my problems to them. I wake up with such anxiety.Listening to surah nur sure helped calm me down yesterday. I'm not sure if this is hypocrisy on my part. I wish they would just help me out like they did before. I feel like if I die in this state i'm destined for Jahannam. Allah deserves to be worshipped in the best of manners for a person to achieve aa feeling of tranquility. them behaving the way they do really makes me angry. I don't want to be angry at any of them. I want us all to be good muslims. I have had my cousin post of some hadith on their wall such as “A Muslim is a brother of (another) Muslim, he neither wrongs him nor does hand him over to one who does him wrong. If anyone fulfils his brother’s needs, Allah will fulfil his needs; if one relieves a Muslim of his troubles, Allah will relieve his troubles on the Day of Resurrection…” [Bukhari and Muslim]. But ehey say they already know this stuff and render it useless. I was not planning on viewing the replies on this post because I thought ppl might find my condition silly/selfish.

                  Here is something think ppl show perhaps read to understand this a bit better it's about who woman who does certain things in order to keep her kushoo http://www.missionislam.com/health/c...vedisorder.htm
                  Insha Allah I will defeat the shaytan and Insha Allah my families heart will become softer. May Allah have mercy on all of the muslims on the day of judgement and forgive our faults and Insha Allah enter us into his Jannah.
                  Asalamu Alaykum brother. You are very welcome. I understand what you mean about your siblings, because people do change, but make Du'aa for them, and I'm not sure if you've tried speaking to them about this, or maybe (as silly as it sounds), writing them a letter so they can read it. Maybe if they understand what you're going through, they will be more understanding. I'm not sure what licences you mean, like driving licenses... I see, good that you stay away from that, and the arrest was an accident, but again they should understand what they are doing is not right, especially if it's going that far.

                  And I agree, that your family probably doesn't understand what you're going through, so it really musn't be easy for you. You have to keep remember to make Du'aa, and try to make them understand. And remember that you have been created this way, and you are allowed to seek professional help. You do know that it is due to this condition, and a lot of this is out of your control. You're not burdened with more than you can bear, and that which you do not have control over brother. So stay strong, anytime you need advice on anything, etc, or to discuss what you're going through, comment on this thread, or set up a new one. Because we're your sisters and brothers here, and we're all there for you! Whatever you're going through, seriously. And Insha ' Allah it will get better for you.

                  They don't listen probably because they don't understand, and when people don't understand normally due to lack of knowledge, so that's probably why they cant help being judgemental. I mean if you can print things off the internet for them, that might help. Maybe they just aren't aware of what you're going through and why. We cant go back in time brother, but we can look to the future. I mean why not get a professional explain it to your parents/family now? Its never too late, ofcourse its not, so if you make a doctors appointment, with your parents, and discuss this with the doctor. Perhaps your parents will be more inclined to listen to the doctor, because their viewed as a professional and all

                  Try not to be anxious, I know you cant help it. But Allah S.W.T is there for you, and so are all of we. Insha ' Allah once your family understands, their treatment towards you will not be so harsh. Exactly, so when you feel angry towards them, just try to control that, and channel it into doing something useful. Like spending that time trying to teach them about it, or explain.And Jazakhallahu Khairan for that hadith brother, it's so true and a reminder to all of us every day! Maybe the letter/explaining about your condition/getting a doctor too, or even family counselling, to break these communication issues, will truly help. And always make Du'aa ofcourse

                  Yeah exactly, I already know exactly what you mean, because I've learnt about Ocd, and researched it before quite a bit aswell. Insha ' Allah brother, and Ameen to that Du'aa! Also don't be silly, your condition is definitely not silly/selfish in anyway, I'm glad that you decided to post about it, so Insha ' Allah more sisters and brothers can help and advice you too. Your condition isn't silly, because its genuine and there, and not something which you can help, and in no way is it selfish, it is good to ask advice from other people, and from your post, I can tell that you have your families interests at heart.

                  Sorry if my post was long, like my last one. And Insha ' Allah this works out for you brother. Remember keep us updated on here okay.
                  And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                  [al-An’aam 6:59]

                  Comment

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