Faded with life

[obaid_m]

I'm so faded with life that I can see my self holding a gun on my head, im at my lowest imaan and its playing a big role at what is happening to me. Im not sure if I'm going astray or just having unknown problem that i can't figure out. Anybody had a similar problem can share with me?

[Creamcake]

Re: Faded with life

Bro take a step back and re evaluate. Look at what has gone wrong. You said your lowest in your Imaan, so why..is it laziness, being busy, etc. Focus on that first. And if there's an underlying problem, or problems. Ask Allah S.W.T for help and guidance. And the fact you see yourself pointing a gun at your head isn't normal..Has something happened recently, or you been feeling like this for a while. Make a doctors appointment and pray to Allah for help, and not to be misguided. It's okay, i'm sure most of us have had points/phases in our life like this. So you just need to fight back. Be steadfast with prayer, make extra Du'aa, see if you have any other symptoms, make a docs appointment/

[obaid_m]

Re: Faded with life

Bro take a step back and re evaluate. Look at what has gone wrong. You said your lowest in your Imaan, so why..is it laziness, being busy, etc. Focus on that first. And if there's an underlying problem, or problems. Ask Allah S.W.T for help and guidance. And the fact you see yourself pointing a gun at your head isn't normal..Has something happened recently, or you been feeling like this for a while. Make a doctors appointment and pray to Allah for help, and not to be misguided. It's okay, i'm sure most of us have had points/phases in our life like this. So you just need to fight back. Be steadfast with prayer, make extra Du'aa, see if you have any other symptoms, make a docs appointment/

I really don't wanna deal with any doctors. I just think that I dont have any connection with my creator like I used to, sometimes I would believe and the other time I ask my self if I do really believe, my relationship with my deen is like holding a hot potato, I'm doing my best not to let out my throat and I'd rather be dead if I do so. I see nothing but a white page to get on the right track. I love islam and everything about it, I just hate the way it suffers, it makes it hopeless and meaningless which kills my soul slowly and painfully. I know islam doesn't need me or my way of thinking, I just wanna see a little bit hope of it not another way around.

جزاك الله خيراً for your reply.

[Creamcake]

Re: Faded with life

I really don't wanna deal with any doctors. I just think that I dont have any connection with my creator like I used to, sometimes I would believe and the other time I ask my self if I do really believe, my relationship with my deen is like holding a hot potato, I'm doing my best not to let out my throat and I'd rather be dead if I do so. I see nothing but a white page to get on the right track. I love islam and everything about it, I just hate the way it suffers, it makes it hopeless and meaningless which kills my soul slowly and painfully. I know islam doesn't need me or my way of thinking, I just wanna see a little bit hope of it not another way around.

جزاك الله خيراً for your reply.

Aww okay, what I meant about the doctors is because you said something about putting a gun to your head, so it sounded like suicidal thoughts, so maybe depression. Ofcourse I could easily be wrong, but that also has the effect of making one feel less energetic, motivated, etc, so could be having an effect on your faith. The thing is, we all go through times like this, when we make mistakes and all. Like you said, you obviously want to connect with Islam, because you said that you'd rather be dead if you let the faith out. And exactly like you said bro, you can get on the right track. Don't let what you've done and felt in the past bring you down, because that's just the Shaitaan not wanting you to improve and change.

So it's time for you to build up a connection. you said you ask yourself sometimes...do you really believe. Why is that..Maybe lack of information etc, there are so many answers to qs that you might have, so if you have qs don't be afraid to ask them. There are so many good talks and lectures on youtube, aswell as in real life. So don't let It suffer, and make it mean something to you, like you said...about what's happening to your soul. And yeah, so you have to take proactive steps brother. So start by making sure that you're doing what's fardh. In terms of connecting, sometimes we can feel a bit disconnected, for a few reasons. Sometimes we just really have to make Du'aa to feel connected again, because we're told to ask for what we want from Allah S.W.T

Also, if you don't understand Arabis, perhaps you feel disconnected due to that. So get yourself an English translation, it will not be perfect, but still helpful, but again do this alongside some Tafsir, because some parts have a meaning that we might not comprehend, but that the scholars have studied. Learn the meanings of what you're praying in Namaaz. You can do this from the Internet. Because when you're praying, then you understand what you're saying, and think and reflect on that at the same time. When you're reading the Qur'an, you can read it alongside the English translation. Also, if you're not in a Muslim country, you won't normally hear the Adhaan at the prayer times. So I'd recommend listening to the call of prayer, on your phone, laptop etc just from youtube or the internet, before you pray. Because it's just so amazing Alhamdulillah, and why not listen to the call of prayer before praying.

Anyway, that's just my opinion bro. Hope it kind of made sense, I'm quite tired so probably made a lot of typos.
And Allah knows best.