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Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

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  • #16
    Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

    You should not reveal your sins.

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    • #17
      Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

      Originally posted by tanragagirl View Post
      Asalamu Alaikum

      I was assaulted and the guy who did it tome used Islam to justif his actions. So I ended up leaving Islam :(
      I am now returning but am wondering if anyone else suffers from PTSD and depression How do you cope with it? Does praying help?
      Wa alaikum assallaam sis,

      May Allah fill your heart with peace and may He make this a reason for you to get closer to Him. Know that allah is always there for you and he will take care of you if you turn to him
      You're not alone sis if you need to talk or you want someone to just listen feel free to pm me.
      Allah is towards you as you are towards Him and His servants."
      [Imam Ibn al Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah RahimahuAllah]

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      • #18
        Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

        Originally posted by tanragagirl View Post
        Asalamu Alaikum

        I was assaulted and the guy who did it tome used Islam to justif his actions. So I ended up leaving Islam :(
        I am now returning but am wondering if anyone else suffers from PTSD and depression How do you cope with it? Does praying help?
        Everyone has their own way of dealing with it. Most do keep quiet about it and this is sadly what happens in most cases. Most rape victims don't report the crime at all or report it too late, and they suffer mentally. I'm not going to ask anything about whether you've reported it or not as it is a sensitive issue and not my place to ask.

        Important thing is you are seeking help which is the first step.

        Its important that you shouldn't lose yourself or blame yourself for what happened. So, next step would be to talk about it. For some, talking is not something they are comfortable or find easy to do with but it does help.

        Don't shut yourself out from the world and hide under the blanket because that's one of the worst feelings in the world, and it will only make you feel more unhappy than you most probably already feel. I have been there and I know the feeling.

        I don't know which area/country you are in but I googled and found there are many support groups for rape victims out there. If you wish to remain anonymous there are support phone lines.

        You said you are coming back to Islam. That is such a brave step to take and takes real courage because most would turn away.

        When you pray... take your time in sujood. Turn every fear, anxiety and concerns you have into a dua. It's the only position that reduces stress and when you are most closest to Allah. If done correctly. When in sujood, cry and talk with Allah as that is the most precious moment and when you are in that moment, you never wish to lift your head from the ground.

        I've become bit emotional during typing this up, I pray you become strong and Allah makes a way for you to overcome this traumatic moment in your life, which no one can wish upon anyone. I pray that Allah gives you strength, patience and remember that: "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:, verily, with every difficulty there is relief' (chapter 94, verse 5-6).

        I don't know what else to advice or say to you except one last thing... make sincere dua whenever you feel like and just talk to Allah. That's the beauty of Islam is that "He knows what's in your heart" so put your trust in Allah and remember that talking about it, and seeking help is the way to heal yourself and move forward..be very patient with yourself and don't be hard on yourself when you can't get past it so soon because it's never easy..

        I hope this has helped you a little..Pm me if u feel comfortable nd I hope to offer some support. I did suffer from depression nd other things for a long period. You never truly come out from something like this but u certainly don't remain the same instead u become mentally strong.
        Last edited by Sweet_Jalebis; 21-08-15, 12:33 PM.
        :inlove:

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        • #19
          Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

          Originally posted by tanragagirl View Post
          Asalamu Alaikum

          I was assaulted and the guy who did it tome used Islam to justif his actions. So I ended up leaving Islam :(
          I am now returning but am wondering if anyone else suffers from PTSD and depression How do you cope with it? Does praying help?
          Bismillah
          Assalaam'alaykum

          I am sorry for your ordeal. May Allah heal your heart and give you peace.

          You may want to try one of these, whichever works for you:

          1) read the Qur'an. With translation.
          "verily, in the rremembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" : 13:28
          Nothing cures depression better than the words of Allah. But you have to read daily. The best time to read is just before sleeping.

          2)exercise. It releases endorphins which are the body's natural anti depressant.

          3) make yourself extremely busy so that you do not have much time to think.

          4) join support groups, meet people in a similar situation. Talking to people here will also help but meeting people face to face helps more.

          5) learn any form of martial arts. It will give you confidence and help you curb your fears.

          6) write a journal. Pen your thoughts, your fears, your anger.

          7) remind yourself. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are good. Believe in the fact that you will overcome this soon inshaAllah. Believe in yourself.

          8) practice taking deep breaths. Try aroma therapy.

          9) find out which activity soothes you the best.


          10) The most powerful of all- make dua! In tahajjud. Learn the duas from the Qur'an. Keep reciting them.
          Prophet ayyub alayhisslaam's dua:
          "Anni massaniyad durru wa anta arrhamu rahimeen" verily , distress has seized me, and you the most merciful of those who show mercy.

          May Allah ease the pain for you and give you sukoon.
          Regards and hugs
          Last edited by River Rhein; 22-08-15, 03:53 AM.

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          • #20
            Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

            Originally posted by istikhara View Post
            You should not reveal your sins.
            It's not her sin.. It's his and she's the victim.
            I love you, cherish you and worship you,
            Guide me on your path to your janna,
            Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


            :love:Allah:love:

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            • #21
              Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

              Originally posted by SofiaG View Post
              Sister, I am so sorry.
              I'm a rape victim too except my rapist was my father. I had PTSD and depression both. Listen to me, don't leave Islam.
              Islam protects us rape victims. Here: http://islamqa.info/en/72338

              I know things aren't easy right now, but it will get easier. I promise. I know it's probably difficult to get motivated right now. You probably have flashbacks and nightmares. But those WILL go away. You'll be happy again one day. I'm here if you want to talk.
              From your link,

              The laws of Islam came to protect women's honour and modesty. Islam forbids women to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram; it forbids a woman to shake hands with a non-mahram man. Islam encourages young men and women to marry early, and many other rulings which close the door to rape. Hence it comes as no surprise when we hear or read that most of these crimes occur in permissive societies which are looked up to by some Muslims as examples of civilization and refinement! In America – for example – International Amnesty stated in a 2004 report entitled “Stop Violence Against Women” that every 90 seconds a woman was raped during that year. What kind of life are these people living? What refinement and civilization do they want the Muslim women to take part in?

              This man is trying to say that Islam forbids women to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram. Imagine if a woman tried to forbide a man from traveling. Better yet, Imagine if one human tried to tell another human that you can not travel.

              Imagine if the guy said

              Islam forbids men to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram.


              I think that Its wrong for some Jew, Muslim or Christian man to tell a grown woman hey you dont leave my house without my permission, or make sure to dress appropriately.

              Politics have influenced some men over the years, Christian, Jewish and Muslim alike... to inflict serious pain and torture upon women. Of course the truth is that Jesus taught, he who is without sin, caste the first stone. In some of the barbaric societies, one could see a Jewish woman, or a Muslim woman getting buried up to her neck and then stoned for certain so called crimes. One of the lines that some folks use is that in Islam, men have their rights and woman have their rights. In reality, Islam teaches a message of tolerance, peace, equality. Of course Islam teaches to treat others as you want to be treated, this is undeniable, not even the most intolerant atheist can deny the message of peace and equality that Islam teaches. As a man, I would not accept another man or woman telling me who I can or can not marry. For example I will marry a Jew, a Muslim or an Atheist if it feels right.
              Last edited by Isa007; 23-08-15, 06:21 PM.

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              • #22
                Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

                Originally posted by Isa007 View Post
                From your link,

                The laws of Islam came to protect women's honour and modesty. Islam forbids women to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram; it forbids a woman to shake hands with a non-mahram man. Islam encourages young men and women to marry early, and many other rulings which close the door to rape. Hence it comes as no surprise when we hear or read that most of these crimes occur in permissive societies which are looked up to by some Muslims as examples of civilization and refinement! In America – for example – International Amnesty stated in a 2004 report entitled “Stop Violence Against Women” that every 90 seconds a woman was raped during that year. What kind of life are these people living? What refinement and civilization do they want the Muslim women to take part in?

                This man is trying to say that Islam forbids women to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram. Imagine if a woman tried to forbide a man from traveling. Better yet, Imagine if one human tried to tell another human that you can not travel.

                Imagine if the guy said

                Islam forbids men to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram.


                I think that Its wrong for some Jew, Muslim or Christian man to tell a grown woman hey you dont leave my house without my permission, or make sure to dress appropriately.

                Politics have influenced some men over the years, Christian, Jewish and Muslim alike... to inflict serious pain and torture upon women. Of course the truth is that Jesus taught, he who is without sin, caste the first stone. In some of the barbaric societies, one could see a Jewish woman, or a Muslim woman getting buried up to her neck and then stoned for certain so called crimes. One of the lines that some folks use is that in Islam, men have their rights and woman have their rights. In reality, Islam teaches a message of tolerance, peace, equality. Of course Islam teaches to treat others as you want to be treated, this is undeniable, not even the most intolerant atheist can deny the message of peace and equality that Islam teaches. As a man, I would not accept another man or woman telling me who I can or can not marry. For example I will marry a Jew, a Muslim or an Atheist if it feels right.
                Islam does forbid both men and women from dressing immodestly and women can only travel with a mahram.
                That's not politics. It's our religion. Because Islam is a lifestyle.
                Oh and some other things, stoning is permissible for certain crimes in the Quran and in many hadith. There may be laws that you don't like, but they are the laws of Allah.
                And as a man, you can marry a Christian or Jew (although I can't which is perfectly fine by me) but you can't really marry an athiest or polytheist.
                Last edited by SofiaG; 23-08-15, 10:00 PM.
                “Ask forgiveness from your Lord. Indeed! He is Oft-Forgiving.” (71:10)

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                • #23
                  Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

                  Originally posted by SofiaG View Post
                  Islam does forbid both men and women from dressing immodestly and women can only travel with a mahram.
                  That's not politics. It's our religion. Because Islam is a lifestyle.
                  Oh and some other things, stoning is permissible for certain crimes in the Quran and in many hadith. There may be laws that you don't like, but they are the laws of Allah.
                  And as a man, you can marry a Christian or Jew (although I can't which is perfectly fine by me) but you can't really marry an athiest or polytheist.
                  Islam is a lifestyle. Christianity is also a lifestyle.

                  I understand that stoning is talked about in both Islam and Judaism . What Islam as well as Judaism also preach is mercy and forgiveness.

                  Here in the USA and other countries around the world including some of the Muslim majority countries.... I can marry any woman who wants to willingly marry me. Now the thing is I understand that when I die I will have to take responsibility for my actions here on earth. If I do get married, and I marry an Atheist for example, then I will have to answer for my actions to God, and God will judge me.
                  Last edited by Isa007; 24-08-15, 04:21 AM. Reason: fixed a typo

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                  • #24
                    Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

                    You were with a boy after being raped? How is that possible? People can't even trust their husbands / longterm boyfriends after rape and you can so easily be intimate with someone else after being raped?

                    People, this is not a light topic. The effects of rape are awful and longterm. Don't make it sound like it's something easy to get over.
                    So i read.
                    Dont mean to doubt your story.
                    May Allah make it easy on you.

                    You may need counseling to overcome the effects. And lots of support. I hear it's the worst ordeal a person can go through. With lifelong effects.

                    Oh and please don't go to places that are dangerous like deserted alleys, parks, parking lots etc. Be in places where there are lots of people. Avoid deserted places at all costs. It's better to be safe than sorry.
                    Last edited by umm salabil; 24-08-15, 05:01 AM.

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                    • #25
                      Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

                      Originally posted by Isa007 View Post
                      Islam is a lifestyle. Christianity is also a lifestyle.

                      I understand that stoning is talked about in both Islam and Judaism . What Islam as well as Judaism also preach is mercy and forgiveness.

                      Here in the USA and other countries around the world including some of the Muslim majority countries.... I can marry any woman who wants to willingly marry me. Now the thing is I understand that when I die I will have to take responsibility for my actions here on earth. If I do get married, and I marry an Atheist for example, then I will have to answer for my actions to God, and God will judge me.
                      I grew up in a Christian household. They don't follow the bible unless it suits them. That's not a lifestyle.
                      And yes, here you can legally marry whoever you want to because of laws written by a human. Dunya over deen then? You really want to answer for eternity because you wanted a few years of fun here on earth?
                      Allah already told you he's going to judge you. He already told you what not to do.
                      “Ask forgiveness from your Lord. Indeed! He is Oft-Forgiving.” (71:10)

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Anyone else a rape victim? Has depression?

                        Originally posted by SofiaG View Post
                        I grew up in a Christian household. They don't follow the bible unless it suits them. That's not a lifestyle.
                        For many Christians, Christianity is a lifestyle. Like anyone else though a Christian is capable of making a mistake or what in Christianity we call a sin.


                        Originally posted by SofiaG View Post
                        And yes, here you can legally marry whoever you want to because of laws written by a human. Dunya over deen then? You really want to answer for eternity because you wanted a few years of fun here on earth?
                        Allah already told you he's going to judge you. He already told you what not to do.
                        I hear you and I understand that our actions here on Earth will be judged by God in the afterlife.

                        Marriage is a serious thing for many people. Throughout the course of history there have been differing viewpoints from scholars from each of the three religions of Abraham when it comes to the topic of marriage. These days I think its safe to say that most preachers(not all) from Islam, Judaism and Christianity teach to try and marry someone who is of your religion.

                        I will add that there are atheist couples who are more serious about their marriage when compared to Muslim or Christian couples for example. We could find some Atheist couples who raise there kids better then how some Muslim or Christian couples raise their kids.

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