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Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

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  • #61
    Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

    Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
    A random thought I had about this thread is that when the ayaat of hijaab/jilbaab were revealed, weren't the women already wearing the long dresses Arab women would wear? If so, then if jilbaab wasn't required, wouldn't they just cover their hair and chest area (not the whole body)?

    I'm not saying this is definitely the case because I don't know, but it's just something that crossed my mind. I'm curious to know if it was the case though, if anyone does know.
    good point, I feel the same, but at the same time im confused due to the verse of khimar being revealed afterwards. (it was after,no?)
    Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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    • #62
      ...
      Last edited by Y.M; 29-04-18, 10:10 PM.

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      • #63
        Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

        Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
        Sister a command is a command. This is what is being missed here. There is a Quranic ayat and hadith as well as sayings by sahabiyat about the outer garment when they went out. Its not really an either/or type of action

        The awrah definitions point to nakedness if certain commands are not obeyed. You see even your house has awrah and if it faces the street directly then at maghrib time you have to draw the curtains as when light come on it is easy for those outside to see in.

        The concept of nakedness is lost amongst those who have taken it personally maybe due to not observing jilbab or simply wanting to follow their own whims and desires. The problem being Oxford dictionary type definitions rather than Islamic definitions.

        Also seems like some sisters have taken it as an assault on sisters, however I was careful in giving the brothers in tight jeans etc as an example of male nakedness. Sure some tried to mock that too by saying chest etc isn't awrah so T-shirt is OK. However the point was to highlight that a tight T-shirt over skinny jeans isn't covering of awrah, basically due to the skinny jeans and the T-shirt not covering enough

        What is also concerning is that when there re clear commands people still want the soft softly approach. Seems we are happy to compromise and mock anything that doesn't fit our lifestyle.
        i actually agree with you here mostly. I just wanted to put it in a different way.
        I don't consider skirts and tops as proper hijab but I'm not a scholar so I'm not going to go into definitions of 'nakedness' and awrah.
        plus I know not everyone is on the same level so it would be very unwise of me to go telling sisters who are making an effort that their dress is regarded as nakedness.
        it's not about compromising, if you said what you are saying now to a bunch of sisters who are at least trying, they would think "what's the point then" and most would probably end up taking of the headscarf and switching the long skirt for trousers.

        people may fall into mocking because they don't understand what it is that you are saying. you are talking from one level/angle while they are seeing it in a different way.

        we have to follow the soft approach because of our situation today. we are not living in a land where these things can be made law where everyone is forced to cover properly (which would be great), we are living in a place where if you push people away enough, they could go out 'naked' and no one would stop them.
        شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
        فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
        وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
        ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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        • #64
          Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

          I would get wife to dress properly.

          My wife will only wear modest clothing that does not reveal her figure.

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          • #65
            Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

            Originally posted by shazj View Post
            Okay so you have 2 options:

            A) tell her what to wear and what not to wear. Good luck though- you are newly married and you risk isolating her from yourself by coming across bossy. Your intentions may be well but she might not see that.

            B) Take her shopping. There are some beautiful Abayas out there that are loose fitting and absolutely gorgeous. They can be worn when meeting family. It's custom for a bride to be dressed nicely when meeting her new family. So fork out some cash and take her to get stuff that's more suitable. If you live in UK and you can drive to Birmingham, let us know. There's a store I think you'll both approve of.
            Hijab/ Abaya being beautiful defeats the very purpose of hijab which is to conceal one's body and not to draw attention to oneself. A new bride may present herself nicely in front of family members provided they're female or her mehrams. If any non-mehram from the family is going to be gawking at her, then what's the use of dressing fancily even if it's apparently modest? If you make an effort for any non-mehram, you're attracting yourself to them - which is not permissible. The husband's role here is to ensure no non-mehram looks at his wife. Period.

            You either follow Ar- Rahman or you follow Shaitaan. There's nothing in between.

            Click image for larger version

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            Features of Saheeh Hijaab :

            1 - It should cover the entire body
            2 - It should not be fancy or an adornment in itself
            3- It should be thick such that the inner beauty is not revealed
            4- It should be loose & not clingy
            5- It should not be perfumed
            6-It should not resemble the clothing of men
            7-It should not resemble the clothing of Kuffar
            8- It should not be worn for the purpose of showing off

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            • #66
              Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

              Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
              Hijab/ Abaya being beautiful defeats the very purpose of hijab which is to conceal one's body and not to draw attention to oneself. A new bride may present herself nicely in front of family members provided they're female or her mehrams. If any non-mehram from the family is going to be gawking at her, then what's the use of dressing fancily even if it's apparently modest? If you make an effort for any non-mehram, you're attracting yourself to them - which is not permissible. The husband's role here is to ensure no non-mehram looks at his wife. Period.

              You either follow Ar- Rahman or you follow Shaitaan. There's nothing in between.

              [ATTACH=CONFIG]78196[/ATTACH].

              Features of Saheeh Hijaab :

              1 - It should cover the entire body
              2 - It should not be fancy or an adornment in itself
              3- It should be thick such that the inner beauty is not revealed
              4- It should be loose & not clingy
              5- It should not be perfumed
              6-It should not resemble the clothing of men
              7-It should not resemble the clothing of Kuffar
              8- It should not be worn for the purpose of showing off
              Sis, I said they were beautiful. I never said they were fancy or attention seeking abayas. Something can be simple and be beautiful at the same time.
              Mrs B

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              • #67
                Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                I wish I never read this thread.

                All I'm thinking now is what's the point of me even trying to dress modestly, if I'm going to be classified as naked just for not wearing a flipping jilbaab.

                Seriously? Might as well look good and be classified as naked over looking ugly and still being told I'm naked.
                Gone with the wind.

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                • #68
                  Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                  Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
                  I wish I never read this thread.

                  All I'm thinking now is what's the point of me even trying to dress modestly, if I'm going to be classified as naked just for not wearing a flipping jilbaab.

                  Seriously? Might as well look good and be classified as naked over looking ugly and still being told I'm naked.
                  Don't complain and hate modesty. It's good for you.

                  Only to protect you. It's not even that hard.

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