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  • Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

    Assalam Alaykum!

    As a newly married husband, I must say I'm quite disappointed with this "shalwar kameez" dress. At a closer look they are usually tight, form-fitting, long necks, short sleeves, transparent and see-through, high slits not to mention the fancy designs and colors! Astaghfirullah!

    We have some unIslamic Pakistani custom about when a newly married bride is attending any gathering or going to someone's house she is expected to be all dressed-up in fancy clothes, makeup and jewelry! Astaghfirullah! Is she married or trying to attract a man astaghfirullah

    Sisters my wife and our families are lax and I do not know how to deal with this. Did anyone else go through this? What kinds of alternates are there to such dressing and how did you deal with the Pakistani people and there jahil mentality?

    Edit: Posted a reply. She wears hijab, but there is an expectation to dress-up for invitations because she is newly married.
    Last edited by confusedHubby; 20-07-15, 07:36 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

    :wswrwb:

    Forget the people/family, and ask your wife to cover. There are no alternatives. She must wear proper hijab.

    And you are right, shalwaar kameez are not proper hijab + they are becoming very immodest.



    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...f59fde3559.jpg
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

      Originally posted by confusedHubby View Post
      Assalam Alaykum!

      As a newly married husband, I must say I'm quite disappointed with this "shalwar kameez" dress. At a closer look they are usually tight, form-fitting, long necks, short sleeves, transparent and see-through, high slits not to mention the fancy designs and colors! Astaghfirullah!

      We have some unIslamic Pakistani custom about when a newly married bride is attending any gathering or going to someone's house she is expected to be all dressed-up in fancy clothes, makeup and jewelry! Astaghfirullah! Is she married or trying to attract a man astaghfirullah

      Sisters my wife and our families are lax and I do not know how to deal with this. Did anyone else go through this? What kinds of alternates are there to such dressing and how did you deal with the Pakistani people and there jahil mentality?
      shouldve done your research before marrying..

      anyways why dont you try to advise your wife and tell her that youve concerns for her dress?

      bring to her attention all the valid islamic points and try to tell her that her dress is inappropriate and inconsistent with islamic teachings.

      please please make sure about 2 points:



      salam

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

        Brother mirror put it up pretty simple and to the point.I agree what you say...its the problem i am also dealing with coz i myself went to buy clothes after a long time in shops only to find out the shalwar clothes is not enough to make a covering i.e waziri shalwar or patiala type which i like since its more modest...i had to buy from other shops extra clothing...The shopkeepers and designers sell straight paints like trousers which is tight and unmodest..Long slits i hate to the core...i even fought with the tailor for this...Acc to him its the demand of fashion so i thought its what i may wanted.
        Honestly speaking...this is whats started from designers,tailors and society going towards this stupid fashion thing.Loose clothing is comfirtable meducally as well as islamically..Onecan breath easily.dont know when ll our designers learn...we are muslims...we are supposed to dress modestly.
        Last edited by snow_flakes; 20-07-15, 07:32 AM.
        ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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        • #5
          Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

          Wa alaikum salam

          Insist right from the beginning that she wear loose-fitting clothes, at least not that tight even in front of other women; and must be completely modest when in public.



          Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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          • #6
            Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

            Bengalis have the same problems, not with salwar kameez but sarees

            Sorry can't help you because asians are stubborn with their tradition and if you can stand up to them then do so, my family know i don't follow tradition so they never try to impose it on me because they know what i'll do lol

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            • #7
              Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

              Women must wear the hijaab and jilbaab when going out. There is no other option. No long skirt with loose blouse etc or baggy pants and blouse. There must be the outer garment

              Anything else is nakedness

              Today often we define things by the oxford dictionary rather than Islam. So brothers with skinny jeans with tight short t-shirts think they are dressed but are naked in the eyes of Allah swt

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              • #8
                Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                She might not even want to wear those clothes, but maybe she feels she has to because like you said it's expected.

                If she's not observing hijaab at all, then you have a lot to talk to her about. If she is covering her hair but not her body, then you can explain to her about the correct type of hijaab as posted above.

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                • #9
                  Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                  Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                  Women must wear the hijaab and jilbaab when going out. There is no other option. No long skirt with loose blouse etc or baggy pants and blouse. There must be the outer garment

                  Anything else is nakedness

                  Today often we define things by the oxford dictionary rather than Islam. So brothers with skinny jeans with tight short t-shirts think they are dressed but are naked in the eyes of Allah swt
                  Anything else is nakedness? Lol uh OK.

                  I should just stop wearing a baggy skirt/blouse now because according to you its 'nakedness'
                  O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                  • #10
                    Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                    Originally posted by *sheba* View Post
                    Anything else is nakedness? Lol uh OK.
                    Yes. In the eyes of Allah swt.

                    Take the example of the skinny jeans for brothers or the fitted shalwar kameez for sisters which gives definition to body parts. This is nakedness

                    Its weird how people see things in certaint ways. So in UK a female in underwear walking around is seen as exposure yet a woman in a bikini is seen as dressed

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                    • #11
                      Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                      Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                      Yes. In the eyes of Allah swt.

                      Take the example of the skinny jeans for brothers or the fitted shalwar kameez for sisters which gives definition to body parts. This is nakedness

                      Its weird how people see things in certaint ways. So in UK a female in underwear walking around is seen as exposure yet a woman in a bikini is seen as dressed
                      I'm talking about baggy clothing minus the outer garment definition you follow. Do you also call that nakedness?
                      O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                      • #12
                        Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                        Originally posted by *sheba* View Post
                        I'm talking about baggy clothing minus the outer garment definition you follow. Do you also call that nakedness?
                        Yes

                        Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti:
                        ‘The verse 59 of Surah Al-Ahzab urges a woman to wear a Jilbab. A Jilbab means the outer garment over her inner clothes to guarantee that everything of her body is covered and doesn’t show or shape any of her figures. That is the objective of Shari’a.’

                        Did have a quote on how tight fitting or loose clothing without outer garment doesn't fit the criteria but don't have a reference for it

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                          Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                          Yes

                          Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti:
                          ‘The verse 59 of Surah Al-Ahzab urges a woman to wear a Jilbab. A Jilbab means the outer garment over her inner clothes to guarantee that everything of her body is covered and doesn’t show or shape any of her figures. That is the objective of Shari’a.’

                          Did have a quote on how tight fitting or loose clothing without outer garment doesn't fit the criteria but don't have a reference for it
                          Urges a woman to wear a jilbaab and anything without jilbaab is nakedness, are two completely different things.

                          Anyway one can guarantee that whole body is covered modestly without a jilbaab, so may Allah reward the sheikh but its not like you claimed above.
                          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                            Originally posted by *sheba* View Post
                            Urges a woman to wear a jilbaab and anything without jilbaab is nakedness, are two completely different things.

                            Anyway one can guarantee that whole body is covered modestly without a jilbaab, so may Allah reward the sheikh but its not like you claimed above.
                            That was a quick quote. It is actually quite detailed as a topic. The bottom line is that to go outside an outer garment (jilbab) is necessary.

                            Ibn Jarir At-Tabari :
                            ‘God Almighty said to His Prophet Muhammad (pbuh: Tell your wives, daughters and the wives of the believers…that they should draw over themselves their jilbabs.

                            Ibn Manzur:
                            "The jilbab is the outer garment, mantle, or cloak. It is derived from the verb tajallbaba, which means to clothe. Jilbab is the outer sheet or covering which a woman wraps around her on top of her garments to cover herself from head to toe. It hides her body completely"

                            Al-Fayruz abadi:
                            "The jilbab…is that which conceals the clothes like a cover"

                            The nakedness in Islam is described as awrah, if that is covered then a person is not naked. Yet the awrah for a man is navel to knee, meaning say a tennis player with T-shirt and shorts wouldn't be seen as naked by most but if he has he short shorts then he is naked

                            If a woman has a jilbab and no hijab/ head covering she is naked

                            Do you see now why I meant by nakedness in the eyes of Allah swt?
                            Last edited by nonameakhi; 20-07-15, 10:34 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Dressing modestly question for religious Pakistani wives

                              Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                              That was a quick quote. It is actually quite detailed as a topic. The bottom line is that to go outside an outer garment (jilbab) is necessary.

                              Ibn Jarir At-Tabari :
                              ‘God Almighty said to His Prophet Muhammad (pbuh: Tell your wives, daughters and the wives of the believers…that they should draw over themselves their jilbabs.

                              Ibn Manzur:
                              "The jilbab is the outer garment, mantle, or cloak. It is derived from the verb tajallbaba, which means to clothe. Jilbab is the outer sheet or covering which a woman wraps around her on top of her garments to cover herself from head to toe. It hides her body completely"

                              Al-Fayruz abadi:
                              "The jilbab…is that which conceals the clothes like a cover"

                              The nakedness in Islam is described as awrah, if that is covered then a person is not naked. Yet the awrah for a man is navel to knee, meaning say a tennis player with T-shirt and shorts wouldn't be seen as naked by most but if he has he short shorts then he is naked

                              If a woman has a jilbab and no hijab/ head covering she is naked

                              Do you see now why I meant by nakedness in the eyes of Allah swt?
                              I still don't agree. The hadith referring to naked despite being dressed is clear and wearing baggy modest clothing without a jilbaab doesn't make one naked. Nt covering the hair is showing your awrah, covering your awrah without a jilbaab is not the same to the above but yet you referred to it as being naked. Seriously.
                              O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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