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  • ramadan test

    ramadan test

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Asalam alaykum

    I reverted to Islam, and am now married in the mosque but not legally. My husband and I were going to apply for a visa for him as his visa is soon to run out. He told me that it was not a marriage for papers and I believed him. We have been married for only two months without his parents permission. Friday was my first day ever of fasting and was really important to me, and my husband recently has been acting rather strangely since he discovered I had looked on his mobile phone and said I was suspicious of him. Anyway on friday was a little unkind towards me and I got upset and told me that he doesnt love me and doesnt think he can ever love me and and has never loved me and that he is really sorry and doesnt want to hurt me and doesnt want to carry this on as its not going to be a good situation. But we are already married.........I thought you are meant to try to sort out problems like this as it is normal in most relationships to go through such emotions, and if he never loved me why did he marry me, his response being he thought it would be different and he doesnt feel like he wants to be married or responsible for a woman and is sad because he can not give me what I want. I am very sad about this I know this is a test from God maybe I loved him more than God and that is why im being tested. Anyway after he told me all of these things about not loving me he asked me if we could still marry in the registry office but just for papers when his visa expires, he is still living in myh ouse and I do not know what to do, I dont want to make anyone homeless but I dont think I can carry on like this as it is making me extremely sad. MY parents are not muslim so I am too afriad to tell them about this situation as they might try to change my mind about my faith and about him. I love him very much but he doesnt love me and he said that is the problem.......please any advice would be greatly appreciated as I now feel very alone.

    thanks
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  • #2
    sorry to hear about your situation.

    this guy is just using you. the sooner you get rid of him, the better.
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    • #3
      i dont think he is

      if he was he would have carried out his pretense i dont know what to do once i marry someoen in the mosque then it is serious and i have a duty do i not to do what i believe.......or do i just stay quiet and leave it to god? my parents are not muslim so its hard to get sound advice
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      • #4
        maybe he feels he doesn't need to carry out his pretense any longer coz he knows he can easily manipulate you?

        some ppl would do anything to get a visa.

        anyway, i suggest you pray istikhara... it the prayer where you ask Allah's guidance in a certain matter.

        find out more about istikhara
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        Please forward this message to help turn this vision into a reality.

        The Prophet (SAW) also said, "The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his Sadaqah." (Ahmad)

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        • #5
          thanks

          I know im fully aware of the visa people...............and I had known him a while before and took things slowly...maybe im too kind and niave sometimes but atleast in my heart I know ive done everything from my heart, could you please paste the prayer as the link doesnt work thanks once again are you from hackney by the way? or is ackney some far off place somewhere
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          • #6
            try the istikhara link again, i've fixed it.

            i'm from 'ackney as in north london hackney :)
            Take a step into our unique Muslim Montessori school:


            Donate your sadaqah to help build a Model School for all our children.
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            The Prophet (SAW) also said, "The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his Sadaqah." (Ahmad)

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            • #7
              nice one.........

              im from islington....very near...........thanks will look at that prayer just hope that I am lucky next time inchallah and keep a strong faith
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              • #8
                cant look at the link as i dont have privledges...

                .....................
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                • #9
                  Istikhara and Divine Guidance:[email protected])

                  Sunni Path - www.sunnipath.comhttp://islam.about.com/blistikhara.htm for the Istikhara.
                  Take a step into our unique Muslim Montessori school:


                  Donate your sadaqah to help build a Model School for all our children.
                  Please watch our school appeal: https://youtu.be/SY819jmCbzw


                  Please forward this message to help turn this vision into a reality.

                  The Prophet (SAW) also said, "The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his Sadaqah." (Ahmad)

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                  • #10
                    Asslamau alaikum

                    Iam sorry to hear that v-v, insha'Allah head to the advice 'seven' given you and may Allah swt guide you through this tribulation insha'Allah. We all have something in common we all Londoners:up: . I always find it more helpful if you speak to someone in the mosque maybe even the shiek and gain support as well as advice.

                    May Allah swt grant us Jannah ameen.

                    Wassalmau alaikum
                    p.s. you mentioned you are from Islington, l also live there so lam sure you know about 'Muslim Welfare House' mosque there are good brothers and sisters who will be willing to help and advice you in your situation.
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                    • #11
                      thanks sister

                      No i didnt know about it thank you, as a revert it is difficult to get advice as sometimes I feel looked down upon by some people born into islam and people who are not muslim just dont understand.....All I want to do is live an honest simple life. So you live in islington......you may have my email address it is [email protected] and anytime you need anything let me know peace be with you
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                      • #12
                        don't ever feel as if you are being looked down upon.

                        most muslims respect reverts more since they have embraced islam out of their own free will and have had to make a major changes in their lives. whereas born & bought up muslims have never had to make that choice.
                        Take a step into our unique Muslim Montessori school:


                        Donate your sadaqah to help build a Model School for all our children.
                        Please watch our school appeal: https://youtu.be/SY819jmCbzw


                        Please forward this message to help turn this vision into a reality.

                        The Prophet (SAW) also said, "The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his Sadaqah." (Ahmad)

                        ‪#‎ChangingEducation

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                        • #13
                          its just my experience, I am lucky that I do have some wonderful muslim friends who have been very supportive and given me excellent advice...but an imam said to me dont let people be your judge of Islam and he was right. I hope to become inchallah the best muslim I can as its amazing how much peace I have found within my self and im not thre 100 percent of the way yet. I know I am on the right way even though sometimes it can feel extremely lonely...........
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                          • #14
                            Allahu Akbar

                            sister be your own person and as seven said we feel proud to know someone who embraced Islam because Allah swt has touched upon your life, keep striving sister Allah swt tests those he loves and insha'Allah what ever calamity befalls on you He will compensate it in the hear after ameen.

                            wasslamau alaikum


                            p.s. lam a brother :D
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                            • #15
                              oh dear thanks brother thank you for your advice when i do the istikhara do i just face quibla do i have to perform wudu first? and pray how i normally pray?
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