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  • #31
    Re: adultery

    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
    I understand but here it seems OP wants to tell this person to back-off. This has the assumption that some move, innocent or otherwise is being made towards here. In either case (innocence or not) on the guys part our advice would be the same. Ok if he's innocent of any wrong doing then the worst case he will think "what the heck" but that's a small price to pay if the alternative happens if you get what I mean.

    I know about innocent things being taken the wrong way...I once helped someone up after she fell off a chair...that resulted in her stalking me for a year (again nothing to do with OPs situation).
    Brother I had a father come to my house threatening to kill me. I didn't even know the girl at the time. Turned out she was infatuated and to get attention had said to her father I was ''chatting her up''
    They realised the infatuation when she got drunk and was saying he cant marry her, when I got engaged

    But the point was that Op simply put interested in her and most have slated the fella. Now he maybe worthy of all the abuse he gets but tbf here we need to know why OP feels the needs to mention adultery etc.

    Comment


    • #32
      Re: adultery

      :salams:

      Sister, the best way for him to back off is for you too back off. Fear Allah and leave the man alone. You have to do your part before expecting someone else to do theirs. Allah isn't going to question you for what he did. He will ask you what you did to cause this. You tell him to back off and you must back off as well. If you do what you're supposed to, he will stay away.

      Allah knows best.
      If Allah & his Messenger :saw: ordered us to breathe in a certain way, we would say: "سَمِعْنَا وَأَطَعْنَا We hear & We obey"
      “Whoever turns away from my Sunnah has nothing to do with me.” (al-Bukhaari)

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: adultery

        Originally posted by firestar101 View Post
        I have seen it in real life so know from experience

        It's usually the fashion hijabis that get approached and it's really their own fault.

        If you dress properly with nothing showing and no make up, it is unlikely a guy will even approach you or look at you twice
        I am horribly misquoting and hopefully someone can come with the actual Hadith but wasn't there one time that a woman came to discuss something with the Prophet SAW and she was dressed inappropriately and Rasul Allahs companion was staring at her. Instead of berating the woman for her choice of dress, the Prophet SAW turned his friends head away using his own hand.

        So think about that before you go blaming sisters. Your thinking is seriously flawed
        Allah gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen more and talk less.

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: adultery

          Originally posted by Plumeria View Post
          I am horribly misquoting and hopefully someone can come with the actual Hadith but wasn't there one time that a woman came to discuss something with the Prophet SAW and she was dressed inappropriately and Rasul Allahs companion was staring at her. Instead of berating the woman for her choice of dress, the Prophet SAW turned his friends head away using his own hand.

          So think about that before you go blaming sisters. Your thinking is seriously flawed
          Obviously the guy should not look but that sister also is to blame as well

          They both share in the sin. He may look but she is also to blame for not dressing properly

          But obviously guys should lower the gaze and get married if they can to someone they find beautiful.

          And women should only leave the house when necessary
          Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
          ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

          www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: adultery

            Originally posted by Plumeria View Post
            I am horribly misquoting and hopefully someone can come with the actual Hadith but wasn't there one time that a woman came to discuss something with the Prophet SAW and she was dressed inappropriately and Rasul Allahs companion was staring at her. Instead of berating the woman for her choice of dress, the Prophet SAW turned his friends head away using his own hand.

            So think about that before you go blaming sisters. Your thinking is seriously flawed
            SIster, you should learn the context of a hadith before sharing it. You don't know the context. To quote it singly without context makes it sound like a sister can dress however she wants without repercussion just because the man has to lower his gaze. Your misquoting is more flawed than his thinking. It can be dangerous to you and others. May Allah guide us all, ameen

            Edit: Found the hadith

            Volume 8, Book 74, Number 247: (Sahih Bukhari)

            Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Abbas:

            Al-Fadl bin 'Abbas rode behind the Prophet as his companion rider on the back portion of his she camel on the Day of Nahr (slaughtering of sacrifice, 10th Dhul-Hijja) and Al-Fadl was a handsome man. The Prophet stopped to give the people verdicts. In the meantime, a beautiful woman From the tribe of Khath'am came, asking the verdict of Allah's Apostle. Al-Fadl started looking at her as her beauty attracted him. The Prophet looked behind while Al-Fadl was looking at her; so the Prophet held out his hand backwards and caught the chin of Al-Fadl and turned his face (to the owner sides in order that he should not gaze at her. She said, "O Allah's Apostle! The obligation of Performing Hajj enjoined by Allah on His worshipers, has become due (compulsory) on my father who is an old man and who cannot sit firmly on the riding animal. Will it be sufficient that I perform Hajj on his behalf?" He said, "Yes."


            I don't see it saying that the woman was not covered properly. Maybe she was not wearing niqab and was still fully covered. She may have been in ihram. Even so, it may be that the Prophet SAW wanted to help the sister before telling her to cover, or maybe he felt it was inappropriate timing, etc.

            You must be careful in quoting hadiths, making sure they are in context, authentic, etc
            Last edited by Bint Radical; 29-05-15, 04:44 PM.
            If Allah & his Messenger :saw: ordered us to breathe in a certain way, we would say: "سَمِعْنَا وَأَطَعْنَا We hear & We obey"
            “Whoever turns away from my Sunnah has nothing to do with me.” (al-Bukhaari)

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: adultery

              Originally posted by Bint Radical View Post
              SIster, you should learn the context of a hadith before sharing it. You don't know the context. To quote it singly without context makes it sound like a sister can dress however she wants without repercussion just because the man has to lower his gaze. Your misquoting is more flawed than his thinking. It can be dangerous to you and others. May Allah guide us all, ameen

              Edit: Found the hadith

              Volume 8, Book 74, Number 247: (Sahih Bukhari)

              Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Abbas:

              Al-Fadl bin 'Abbas rode behind the Prophet as his companion rider on the back portion of his she camel on the Day of Nahr (slaughtering of sacrifice, 10th Dhul-Hijja) and Al-Fadl was a handsome man. The Prophet stopped to give the people verdicts. In the meantime, a beautiful woman From the tribe of Khath'am came, asking the verdict of Allah's Apostle. Al-Fadl started looking at her as her beauty attracted him. The Prophet looked behind while Al-Fadl was looking at her; so the Prophet held out his hand backwards and caught the chin of Al-Fadl and turned his face (to the owner sides in order that he should not gaze at her. She said, "O Allah's Apostle! The obligation of Performing Hajj enjoined by Allah on His worshipers, has become due (compulsory) on my father who is an old man and who cannot sit firmly on the riding animal. Will it be sufficient that I perform Hajj on his behalf?" He said, "Yes."


              I don't see it saying that the woman was not covered properly. Maybe she was not wearing niqab and was still fully covered. She may have been in ihram. Even so, it may be that the Prophet SAW wanted to help the sister before telling her to cover, or maybe he felt it was inappropriate timing, etc.

              You must be careful in quoting hadiths, making sure they are in context, authentic, etc
              My first sentence was that I was horribly misquoting and for the first person to come and fix my misquoting. Goodness.
              And the point is that women are not solely to blame in situations like this as a previous poster was adamantly saying. That was the point I was trying to get across. Yes I was wrong in saying she was dressed inappropriately but either way, it was the mans gaze whom the holy Prophet averted.
              Last edited by Plumeria; 29-05-15, 08:35 PM.
              Allah gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen more and talk less.

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: adultery

                Originally posted by TurningTables View Post
                Tell him to take a hike.
                This answers the whole thread...
                Believe
                there is
                good in the world

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: adultery

                  Originally posted by ugabs View Post
                  This answers the whole thread...
                  What about post #3???

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: adultery

                    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                    What about post #3???
                    This and that. He needs to jog on then take a hike lol
                    Believe
                    there is
                    good in the world

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: adultery

                      Long story short all these issues arise due to co education, co curricular activities and intermingling. When are we muslims going to learn this simple thing. You can fold yourself in a thousand folds and still if you intermingle with the opposite sex on a daily basis than someday your bound to have problems.
                      A Pessimistic Truth is better than an Optimistic lie.

                      Sisters dont pm me

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: adultery

                        Allah says in the Quran that dont follow the footsteps of the devil. Because these footsteps will eventually lead to a bigger problem. What are this footsteps, it is these small things that one doesn't pay attention to like coeducation no problem, speaking to a lady on unnecessary matters no problem, watching romantic media no problem but zina and fornication; Yes big problem. Most muslims would never commit instant zina it is these small footsteps of the devil that eventually takes u there.
                        A Pessimistic Truth is better than an Optimistic lie.

                        Sisters dont pm me

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: adultery

                          We should really strive to create separate institutes for females and males in muslim communities and countries to avoid such issues from the root.
                          A Pessimistic Truth is better than an Optimistic lie.

                          Sisters dont pm me

                          Comment

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