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  • Family Problems - Please Advise

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    Last edited by Luces; 19-05-15, 08:52 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

    Assalamualikum

    I don't have much to say but other people on here will give you some really good advice, i'm sure.

    Don't marry him. You don't want to so don't marry him.
    As for your dad, he's abusive.
    You should have done something long ago.
    He can't bang your head against a wall or punch your face. omg

    Sister, don't you even think about suicide. Other people are making your life hell. You shouldn't give up your life because of them.

    Why exactly don't you wanna get married?
    I think that's the best choice. Find someone you really like. Hopefully, your parents will like him too.
    You can marry and have a new start with him.

    May Allah SWT ease your hardships.

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    • #3
      Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

      Salaam,

      Get married, so you can get away from your dad.

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      • #4
        Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

        How many siblings do you have and how is their relationship with your father?
        Forgiving others is not a weakness.
        It takes a strong person to forgive.

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        • #5
          Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

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          Last edited by Luces; 19-05-15, 08:52 AM.

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          • #6
            Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

            Originally posted by Luces View Post
            Two brothers; I think they have a bad relationship but one of them lives in university accommodation in another city so is only home half the time and the other is working but lives at home.



            Your Dad shouldn't be abusing you that way.

            Especially because you are a woman.


            Why wouldn't you want to get married?
            https://twitter.com/AoufF
            https://www.facebook.com/Striving4De...page_new_likes

            Please share follow/like and invite your friends and family to it!

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            • #7
              Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

              The one thing you definitely can't do is suicide, you'll end up in Hellfire anyway through suicide.

              Firstly do you pray? If no then start doing so, if yes then keep praying. Try to make an effort in bettering your situation, do your best, make dua, and in sha Allah things will work out.
              La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
              (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
              Do not say about Allah but Truth.

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              • #8
                Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

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                Last edited by Luces; 19-05-15, 08:52 AM.

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                • #9
                  Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

                  That's awful. I hope things get better for you. Does your mother not speak up against what your dad does?

                  And what do you do? Do you go to university? If I had such a life at home, I'd much rather live in student accommodation.

                  About marriage, you don't have to marry if you don't want to. I don't want this to sound wrong but if I had a father like that, I would be kind of suspicious about his choice of guys for marriage. Perhaps you understand why.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

                    Originally posted by Luces View Post
                    Wa alaikum assalaam
                    Thank you for your replies.

                    I don't want to get married because I am queer. I am not attracted to any men and I personally find the idea of intimacy between a man and woman repulsive. On the first day when I heard about the proposal I had a year ago, I went to the bathroom and threw up. I would rather just stay at home than get married.
                    I don't think I could raise a child either. I am so self-absorbed, I think I would be an awful parent and a kid deserves better.
                    Are you only attracted to women?

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                    • #11
                      Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

                      Im so sorry what happened to you as a child, what difficulty you went through, with no adult shielding you from the abuse you had to face, whether mental or physical.

                      Your life experience has definitely tainted your perception of having a normal married life, so you find it really awkward; but Im confident that you can still find happiness you'r still very young. Speaking about what happened in the past as you have in your first post, is the first step towards inner healing.

                      Im glad you stopped those strong medications which can cause havoc to your health.



                      Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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                      • #12
                        Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

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                        Last edited by Luces; 19-05-15, 08:52 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

                          Originally posted by Luces View Post
                          That's correct
                          Are you trolling? say Walahi this is true

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                          • #14
                            Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

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                            Last edited by Luces; 19-05-15, 08:53 AM.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Family Problems - Please Advise

                              Do not contemplate suicide, it's not the answer and is a sure way of going to hell. How is your ibadah, don't answer these questions I just want you to ponder over them, do you pray regularly, read the Quran and do dhikr often? If not you should, get closer to Allah, call onto him and ask for a solution.

                              Please don't ever take medications that aren't prescribed to you, proper assessment has to be made prior and dosing adjustments, especially for quetiapine. Since you've quit cold turkey I hope your withdrawals aren't brutal.

                              May Allah ease your burden, I'll keep you in my duas sister.

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