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  • My father annoys me

    :salams

    Every night, whenever me and my parents, are in our own bedroom for night and sleep, I sleep upstairs, they sleep downstairs, my father always close this door downstairs, so hard. I keep wondering why does it have to be so loud? Should I just sprinkle of bismillah water on the door, because it is just so annoying every night. I do feel like reminding but I'm just afraid of bringing up about this topic.

    At some point, I feel like slapping him on the face for this kind of stuff. May Allah S.W.T. protects me from such anger. I don't even make dua for my parents, because I don't really like them. Is it allow in Islam? I sometimes not make dua for forgiveness of my parents and just skip reading it in a dua book. Sometimes my inside just tell me, wait until one of them die, then make the dua. Do you think this is acceptable?

    Jazakallah khair, for reading my post.

  • #2
    Re: My father annoys me

    :wswrwb:

    No, this is not acceptable and how dare you even thinking about slapping your father? This is absolutely disgusting.

    You need to put aside your anger and realize the fact that these very people have brought you up to where you are.

    May Allah forgive you.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: My father annoys me

      If that is bothering you then speak to him about it, instead of dpngbwat ur doing.
      How can you not like ur parents?
      They raised you and loved you and this is the gratitude?

      My parents infuriate me all the time but it doesn't mean I dont love them or make dua.
      Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

      How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

      Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

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      • #4
        Re: My father annoys me

        :wswrwb:
        I can probably tell you're just acting out of emotions. Don't let them take the better of you.
        Maybe try to speak to your parents about this? Or plug something in your ears every night? Rather make dua for your parents, and don't wait for them to die! You never know whether you'll die before them, or they'll die displeased with you. (not saying they are but you get the point) Try to be extra kind with your parents, and speak about this. :) In sha Allah you'll benefit from it.

        May Allah SWT forgive you and set your affairs straight. Ameen.
        Last edited by Serinity; 10-05-15, 08:51 PM.
        La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
        (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
        Do not say about Allah but Truth.

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        • #5
          Re: My father annoys me

          Originally posted by Muz1234 View Post
          :salams

          Every night, whenever me and my parents, are in our own bedroom for night and sleep, I sleep upstairs, they sleep downstairs, my father always close this door downstairs, so hard. I keep wondering why does it have to be so loud? Should I just sprinkle of bismillah water on the door, because it is just so annoying every night. I do feel like reminding but I'm just afraid of bringing up about this topic.

          At some point, I feel like slapping him on the face for this kind of stuff. May Allah S.W.T. protects me from such anger. I don't even make dua for my parents, because I don't really like them. Is it allow in Islam? I sometimes not make dua for forgiveness of my parents and just skip reading it in a dua book. Sometimes my inside just tell me, wait until one of them die, then make the dua. Do you think this is acceptable?

          Jazakallah khair, for reading my post.
          Walaikum Asalaam

          No I don't think it is acceptable and I think you may be posting this to let out some of your anger. It could be that your dad doesn't deliberately mean to slam the door and it just really irritates you at night because you are more cranky when you are tired. Definitely ask him if he can try closing the door a bit more quietly as it wakes you up. You should always make dua for your parents. I know this particular thing irritates you but think about all the other nice things your parents do for you...try to block out the bad thoughts and keep yourself busy so small things don't bother you

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          • #6
            Re: My father annoys me

            Originally posted by Serinity View Post
            :wswrwb:
            I can probably tell you're just acting out of emotions. Don't let them take the better of you.
            Maybe try to speak to your parents about this? Or plug something in your ears every night? Rather make dua for your parents, and don't wait for them to die! You never know whether you'll die before them, or they'll die displeased with you. (not saying they are but you get the point) Try to be extra kind with your parents, and speak about this. :) In sha Allah you'll benefit from it.

            May Allah SWT forgive you and set your affairs straight. Ameen.
            If they die displeased with me, does it have affect in the hereafter, or Qiyamah? I don't know if Allah S.W.T. punishes my parents or what, but I really just cannot be sure if I want to see my parents in Jannah with this current situation. Allah S.W.T. is Al-'Alim (The All-Knowing), Al-Hakam (The Judge), so He might knows more about my situation, and He is the best of judge.

            Even at every dinner, I eat dinner with them, they just keep backbiting this, backbiting that, about politics, economy, social, blah blah blah, it is just endless, backbiting on the dinner table. All I have to do is just sabr and eat.

            Sometimes I just calculate their life expectancy, like they are 60 years old now, maybe in 20 to 30 years, this pain might be gone. I know this is cruel, but I really want to understand why Allah S.W.T. is giving me this kind of trial.

            Maybe they are just sick with me living in their home, because I keep failing in universities after universities, and I never get a descent job. I know I failed in the past, but right now I'm trying my best to get good in exams, as well as class work and so on.
            Last edited by Muz1234; 11-05-15, 03:16 PM.

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            • #7
              Re: My father annoys me

              Originally posted by Muz1234 View Post
              If they die displeased with me, does it have affect in the hereafter, or Qiyamah? I don't know if Allah S.W.T. punishes my parents or what, but I really just cannot be sure if I want to see my parents in Jannah with this current situation. Allah S.W.T. is Al-'Alim (The All-Knowing), Al-Hakam (The Judge), so He might knows more about my situation, and He is the best of judge.

              Even at every dinner, I eat dinner with them, they just keep backbiting this, backbiting that, about politics, economy, social, blah blah blah, it is just endless, backbiting on the dinner table. All I have to do is just sabr and eat.

              Sometimes I just calculate their life expectancy, like they are 60 years old now, maybe in 20 to 30 years, this pain might be gone. I know this is cruel, but I really want to understand why Allah S.W.T. is giving me this kind of trial.

              Maybe they are just sick with me living in their home, because I keep failing in universities after universities, and I never get a descent job. I know I failed in the past, but right now I'm trying my best to get good in exams, as well as class work and so on.

              If they are backbiting other Muslims, then you should gentlyl remind them of the ruling regarding it i.e it is like eating the flesh of your brother and that they are giving away their good deeds to them.

              Also, they are your parents,and Allah has commanded kindness to them, so be kind to them, advise them on any wrong you may see in a respectful manner and keep making dua for them.

              And if if you think they are dispkleased with you, then ask them, and see if you've done anything to upset them
              Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

              How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

              Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My father annoys me

                Originally posted by Muz1234 View Post
                If they die displeased with me, does it have affect in the hereafter, or Qiyamah? I don't know if Allah S.W.T. punishes my parents or what, but I really just cannot be sure if I want to see my parents in Jannah with this current situation. Allah S.W.T. is Al-'Alim (The All-Knowing), Al-Hakam (The Judge), so He might knows more about my situation, and He is the best of judge.

                Even at every dinner, I eat dinner with them, they just keep backbiting this, backbiting that, about politics, economy, social, blah blah blah, it is just endless, backbiting on the dinner table. All I have to do is just sabr and eat.

                Sometimes I just calculate their life expectancy, like they are 60 years old now, maybe in 20 to 30 years, this pain might be gone. I know this is cruel, but I really want to understand why Allah S.W.T. is giving me this kind of trial.

                Maybe they are just sick with me living in their home, because I keep failing in universities after universities, and I never get a descent job. I know I failed in the past, but right now I'm trying my best to get good in exams, as well as class work and so on.
                Make a list of what they do for you and what you do for them. I'd suggest you start off the list of what you do for them (the other one will be longer). This will help to give you some perspective.

                Ask yourself what exactly is your trial...a door slamming and back-biting at the table? Is that it? See if you can do something to fix the door issue and as Mikha'eel has stated advise them kindly on the issue at the table. We all have faults and we all need help.

                Work hard, stand on your own two feet. Maybe some time away from them will allow you to see their true worth.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My father annoys me

                  Originally posted by Muz1234 View Post
                  :salams

                  Every night, whenever me and my parents, are in our own bedroom for night and sleep, I sleep upstairs, they sleep downstairs, my father always close this door downstairs, so hard. I keep wondering why does it have to be so loud? Should I just sprinkle of bismillah water on the door, because it is just so annoying every night. I do feel like reminding but I'm just afraid of bringing up about this topic.

                  At some point, I feel like slapping him on the face for this kind of stuff. May Allah S.W.T. protects me from such anger. I don't even make dua for my parents, because I don't really like them. Is it allow in Islam? I sometimes not make dua for forgiveness of my parents and just skip reading it in a dua book. Sometimes my inside just tell me, wait until one of them die, then make the dua. Do you think this is acceptable?

                  Jazakallah khair, for reading my post.
                  Wa alaikum salam Wr. Wb.
                  It is a big sin brother. Ask for their forgiveness in Ied Mubarak and move from their home. If staying with your parents can makes you think that way my advice is you should move away and live by yourself. Read this every time the anger come: Audzu billahi minas syaithanir rajim.

                  When someone is angry, mad, and reaches a state of having wrath against any person, he should make a special Du'a. In doing so he will cool down . It is reported that the Messenger of Allah said: narrated by Sulaiman Ibn Sard and reported by Bukhari and Muslim ) that while Sulaiman was with the Prophet ( MUHAMMAD), two persons were blaming each other. The face of one became red and his jugular veins swelled. the Prophet ( Muhammad) said. I know a statement if he or she say's it then the person with anger will cool down.
                  The person with anger should say : " Audzu billahi minas syaithanir rajim." (I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM SATAN THE OUTCAST).
                  Last edited by rahmat89; 11-05-15, 04:48 PM. Reason: typo

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My father annoys me

                    Originally posted by rahmat89 View Post
                    Wa alaikum salam Wr. Wb.
                    It is a big sin brother. Ask for their forgiveness in Ied Mubarak and move from their home. If staying with your parents can makes you think that way my advice is you should move away and live by yourself. Read this every time the anger come: Audzu billahi minas syaithanir rajim.

                    When someone is angry, mad, and reaches a state of having wrath against any person, he should make a special Du'a. In doing so he will cool down . It is reported that the Messenger of Allah said: narrated by Sulaiman Ibn Sard and reported by Bukhari and Muslim ) that while Sulaiman was with the Prophet ( MUHAMMAD), two persons were blaming each other. The face of one became red and his jugular veins swelled. the Prophet ( Muhammad) said. I know a statement if he or she say's it then the person with anger will cool down.
                    The person with anger should say : " Audzu billahi minas syaithanir rajim." (I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM SATAN THE OUTCAST).
                    Not making dua for them is a big sin?

                    If I make the dua for forgiveness, it is just kind of same example, of Bani Israel making dua to Allah S.W.T. for forgiveness of Firaun, when Firaun was killing innocent people of Bani Israel during Prophet Musa's time.

                    It is like my state of qalb, cannot accept anymore their forgiveness, it is like a long grudge feeling.

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                    • #11
                      Re: My father annoys me

                      You shouldnt hold a grudge against your parents even if they are wrong. For Allah's sake, try to change the whole outlook of how you see your parents.

                      Your happiness in this world and salvation in hereafter depends upon how good you treated them.
                      “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


                      Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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                      • #12
                        Re: My father annoys me

                        Honestly, may Allah SWT help you rectify your situation and how you percieve things. Ameen.

                        If you have any grudges, just swallow it. I know it is a bitter pill. But you see, The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) never hold any grudge against the one who stoned him (from what I've heard- pardon me if it never happened) But you see, one of the prophet's dad associated partners with Allah SWT...

                        Did the Prophets (May Allah's (SWT) peace and blessings be upon them all) ever show resentment???

                        I know the Prophets (May Allah's (SWT) peace and blessings be upon them all) are on a different level. But those are the ones we shall strive to be as. Especially Muhammad SAW
                        La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
                        (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
                        Do not say about Allah but Truth.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My father annoys me

                          Salam alaykum, whatever happens we need to treat our parents kindly and nice brother.

                          Maybe make a joke when he slam the door and tell him something like, oh u got stronger, or your slamming the door like a little boy, no idea just make fun of it and he might stop, or lock it, no idea, there are many ways u just find out the safe one,without anger etc, but dont be bothered aswell, don't show that ur weak, show to your dad that he raised a Man not a joke if u take that in this way.:)

                          peace.
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                          • #14
                            Re: My father annoys me

                            Originally posted by Serinity View Post
                            Honestly, may Allah SWT help you rectify your situation and how you percieve things. Ameen.

                            If you have any grudges, just swallow it. I know it is a bitter pill. But you see, The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) never hold any grudge against the one who stoned him (from what I've heard- pardon me if it never happened) But you see, one of the prophet's dad associated partners with Allah SWT...

                            Did the Prophets (May Allah's (SWT) peace and blessings be upon them all) ever show resentment???

                            I know the Prophets (May Allah's (SWT) peace and blessings be upon them all) are on a different level. But those are the ones we shall strive to be as. Especially Muhammad SAW
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                            • #15
                              Re: My father annoys me

                              Tell him he slams the door also I thibk you have bigger problm then at your father..ebverying ok in your head..?
                              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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