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  • #16
    mashAllah sisters i started to wear hijab when i was 8 years old
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    • #17
      mashAllah sister cute
      i started to wear hijab when i was 9 years old
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      • #18
        I started wearing hijab right after graduating high school :( I waited too long.
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        • #19
          i started to wear hijab when i was 12 years old.. :up:
          akhe salman alfarsi ... try to tell ur sis about her Beauty and body let her knows that his body just simpel part of her ,, strenger mustnot c it ;S
          :insha: we will hear soon Good news about ur sis
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          • #20
            Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
            Assalam Alaykum

            Shukran for this, defintly has given me some insight on how to go about this.

            You are right, its not an easy thing. But I really wish, I woke up one morning and my little sisters thinking was elevated. :)

            The problem is my parents are quiet chilled out, especially with my sister since she is the only daughter and quiet spoilt in some ways. They havent realised that their daughter is now grown up and they need to explain things to her. On the contrary my mum allows her to buy whatever she wants in terms of clothes, she doesnt even wear the traditional shalwar kameez which is somewhat modest than western clothes.

            I am more worried now sine I moved out to my own place, when I do visit home I give her Islamic books to read only to find them sitting at the bottom of her pile of books. If I try to explain things, she just switches off and thinks i am lecturing her - the big age gab doesnt help either. I ve asked her to come to Islamic talks but she refuses and says if she wants to learn about Islam she will read a book.

            :(

            Maybe I ll get her to join here during her holidays, and then you wonderful sisters can knock some sense into her :)


            AHA! i think she is one of the masses of muslims in the UK who believe but dont really know what they believe. joining here would be great since she could learn loads but i get the feeling she doesn't want to learn. I seriously suggest you get to know your sister first. know what she likes and enjoys, it will be strange for her having a brother who just comes home to lecture her about religion. Even if she likes music, films or is boy crazy (which hopefully even if she is she wont tell you... ) GET to know her! then you can start with her gettng to know you. ask her about Allah and what is important in her life. Is it wealth or being popular or other things like that, and whatever you do don't judge her. 15 is a very odd age! Also i know this osunds odd but just talk about inustices. I know it sounds silly but thats one thing that gets people riled up. talkign about Jihad, about how you're unhappy (if you are) about how it's misconstrued to mean terrorism when jihad is a beautiful word to muslims which simpy means to struggle against injustice. you can talk about injustice in politics, which although she may not want to hear i think you should mahe her aware it's every humans moral duty to know about. it's not good to not know these things. Also talk about how greater jihad lies withinthe individual. (Do not turn it inot a lecture about her wearing hijab) also, if she is the way you seem to sya, i think mayeb introducing her to other elements of the religion will do you good. Focusing on the hijab part is not the best way. well good luck anyway.:up:
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            • #21
              Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
              ...knock some sense into her :)
              Speaking from experience as a revert who is still learning, still becoming a better Muslimah, any attempt at knocking some sense into her will result in you pushing her further from the goal you desire.

              I believe it has been said here that gentle persuasion and example is the method to employ.

              I concur.
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              • #22
                Originally posted by ponderingstar
                AHA! i think she is one of the masses of muslims in the UK who believe but dont really know what they believe. joining here would be great since she could learn loads but i get the feeling she doesn't want to learn. I seriously suggest you get to know your sister first. know what she likes and enjoys, it will be strange for her having a brother who just comes home to lecture her about religion. Even if she likes music, films or is boy crazy (which hopefully even if she is she wont tell you... ) GET to know her! then you can start with her gettng to know you. ask her about Allah and what is important in her life. Is it wealth or being popular or other things like that, and whatever you do don't judge her. 15 is a very odd age! Also i know this osunds odd but just talk about inustices. I know it sounds silly but thats one thing that gets people riled up. talkign about Jihad, about how you're unhappy (if you are) about how it's misconstrued to mean terrorism when jihad is a beautiful word to muslims which simpy means to struggle against injustice. you can talk about injustice in politics, which although she may not want to hear i think you should mahe her aware it's every humans moral duty to know about. it's not good to not know these things. Also talk about how greater jihad lies withinthe individual. (Do not turn it inot a lecture about her wearing hijab) also, if she is the way you seem to sya, i think mayeb introducing her to other elements of the religion will do you good. Focusing on the hijab part is not the best way. well good luck anyway.:up:
                Assalam Aalaykum

                Jazakallahu khayr sis, you have been very helpful :)

                Just one last question, how do I get her to sit down with me?

                Basically whenever I am home, I only get to see her in the sitting room, if the TV is on she doesnt let anyone speak, so no discussion there :(. Dont really feel comfortable going in her bedroom, or she wants to know why I wanna come into her bedroom?

                The only other thing is the kitchen, maybe help her with dishes or something, but then how do I start the conversation?

                Any feedback will be much appreciated.

                Barakallahu feek

                "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
                  Assalam Aalaykum

                  Jazakallahu khayr sis, you have been very helpful :)

                  Just one last question, how do I get her to sit down with me?

                  Basically whenever I am home, I only get to see her in the sitting room, if the TV is on she doesnt let anyone speak, so no discussion there :(. Dont really feel comfortable going in her bedroom, or she wants to know why I wanna come into her bedroom?

                  The only other thing is the kitchen, maybe help her with dishes or something, but then how do I start the conversation?

                  Any feedback will be much appreciated.

                  Barakallahu feek
                  As salaam alaikum,

                  i have an older brother who got religous when i was 12 or 13, he used to go on and on at me about religion and i have to say i started to avoid him because i found it so annoying....and we were very close, him always going on at me and me wanting to just hang out with my friends instead of listening to him damaged our relationship.
                  when i was 23 i wore a head scarf for one day....after funny looks from people i felt uncomfortabe and discontinued wearing it.
                  now alhamdalillah i am almost 25 and have been wearing my head scarf for 6 months and insha-allah i will never discontine to
                  wear it because this time round i am wearing it because i want to wear it from my heart and i really do not care what anyone else thinks about it.

                  dont ruin your relationship with your sister by going on and on at her...... spend some quality time together......take her to the cinema and then for a pizza......let her know that you love her and u only want whats best for her.... don't hassle her for the next few times you see her and then give her a book on Islam and ask her to read it just to see what she thinks with no pressure.......and insha-allah she will understand why it is important for her to wear it.


                  wasalaam.
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                  • #24
                    well, my parents made me wear it since i was young. in fact, i went to a islamic kindergarden and so, i was about 5 or 6 when i wore it. i think that had helped me a lot to get used to it. i did had a rebellious streak once. there was a time when i was 13 or 14, i stop wearing for a while but then, something happen, i can't remember though. maybe, i was ashame of myself or realize that what i was doing was wrong and i started to wear again. during this period of time, my parents did not scold or voice any objection. i think that they realize that this is the time i should make a decision whether i'm going to wear it willingly. alhamdullilah. i'm still wearing it now, many years later. but i think i still have not learn all of the proper etiquettes in wearing the hijab. i strongly recommend parents to teach their daughters to wear the hijab from very young because it would make things a lot easier for them to accept it as they grow older and would wear it willingly. as a teen, i know it is not easy to be the few people among friends who wear the hijab because you would feel like the odd one out and everyone keeps teasing you for being the goody-two-shoes. for all those who are starting and getting used to wearing the hijab, it is best to mix with friends who wear hijab as you would not feel like you are going through it alone. sometimes, friends who do not wear hijab might act certain way or give comments that might influence you to stop wearing the hijab.
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                    • #25
                      asalaam alikum,

                      don't get me wrong but i don't think books are a brillient idea. Books are for people who have an interest, who are passionate about the subject. People who desire to learn more, and to act upon it.

                      To me your sister is none of the above, and i'm sure a lot of us were at that stage. Today we see books, as an open ocean to acquire knowledge, but yesterday books on Islam was something we avioded at all costs. Well i know i did.

                      what your sister needs is interaction with muslims, she needs to come to a stage and ask, what's your proof that i need to wear Hajib. She needs to be the one asking the questions not you telling her. I personally think you need to stop telling her anything. and as far as hajib goes, it shouldn't be a topic of issue not until she starts it.

                      how can someone wear the hajib, when they have no fear of Allah. there is no reason for us wearing the Hajib except its a Command from Allah. Hiding the beauty or to keep away from Men are not reasons for wearing Hajib. It is very clear cut, we wear Hajib to obey and please Allah.

                      Why don't you try talking to her about life, tell her you've been on the net recently and you've seen people of all religions on here, and your questioning who is right, how sure can we be we're right. TRy to get her to convince you Islam is the true religion. Her response will tell you what level her Iman is at. It may get her thinking about life, After a while discuss the big bang theory, then discuss being born again, Every few weeks say you've read on the net about such and such. One by one go through every false thoery and inshallah she will conclude to Islam.

                      For people who do not fear Allah or who have not turned to Islam yet, Hajib is an off put, i can completely agree with them, cause we can not explain our passion of why we wear it, it can only be understood by one who has submitted to Allah.

                      I'm not saying this will worked but this has to be better then discussing Hajib all the time.

                      Another way is to invite a friend and his wife for dinner or something and ask your sister to help with cooking and to stay, thought provoke her before the dinner and ask the sister to help, hearing the same thing from different people sometimes helps.

                      Some many people have worn the hajib after me in my family but i have never told a single person to wear it, nor discussed the importance of it until they have asked me. You need to stand as a reference point for people, but someone people are scared to ask, cause you won't stop going on and on.

                      i hope what i have written helps (and makes sense)
                      I remember your sister in my Prayers, mayAllah give her strength in her iman.
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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by salma_
                        asalaam alikum,

                        don't get me wrong but i don't think books are a brillient idea. Books are for people who have an interest, who are passionate about the subject. People who desire to learn more, and to act upon it.

                        To me your sister is none of the above, and i'm sure a lot of us were at that stage. Today we see books, as an open ocean to acquire knowledge, but yesterday books on Islam was something we avioded at all costs. Well i know i did.

                        what your sister needs is interaction with muslims, she needs to come to a stage and ask, what's your proof that i need to wear Hajib. She needs to be the one asking the questions not you telling her. I personally think you need to stop telling her anything. and as far as hajib goes, it shouldn't be a topic of issue not until she starts it.

                        how can someone wear the hajib, when they have no fear of Allah. there is no reason for us wearing the Hajib except its a Command from Allah. Hiding the beauty or to keep away from Men are not reasons for wearing Hajib. It is very clear cut, we wear Hajib to obey and please Allah.

                        Why don't you try talking to her about life, tell her you've been on the net recently and you've seen people of all religions on here, and your questioning who is right, how sure can we be we're right. TRy to get her to convince you Islam is the true religion. Her response will tell you what level her Iman is at. It may get her thinking about life, After a while discuss the big bang theory, then discuss being born again, Every few weeks say you've read on the net about such and such. One by one go through every false thoery and inshallah she will conclude to Islam.

                        For people who do not fear Allah or who have not turned to Islam yet, Hajib is an off put, i can completely agree with them, cause we can not explain our passion of why we wear it, it can only be understood by one who has submitted to Allah.

                        I'm not saying this will worked but this has to be better then discussing Hajib all the time.

                        Another way is to invite a friend and his wife for dinner or something and ask your sister to help with cooking and to stay, thought provoke her before the dinner and ask the sister to help, hearing the same thing from different people sometimes helps.

                        Some many people have worn the hajib after me in my family but i have never told a single person to wear it, nor discussed the importance of it until they have asked me. You need to stand as a reference point for people, but someone people are scared to ask, cause you won't stop going on and on.

                        i hope what i have written helps (and makes sense)
                        I remember your sister in my Prayers, mayAllah give her strength in her iman.
                        Assalam Alaykum Sister

                        JAzakallahu khayr, I think what you said is very important. Fear of Allah is the most imporant thing, if the fear is not there people will always make excuses not to obey Allah, especialy when its something like wearing the Hijaab, they will alwasy say I am not ready etc. But inshalah when the fear of Allah tala really kicks in, its very rare that anyone would do anything to displease their creator.

                        Thanks for the reminder sis, I was looking at one aspect, ie the hijab, but I should really look at it wholistically and explain her the existance of Allah tala and proof of Islam and hopefully then things will make more sense to her.

                        Barakallhu feek :)

                        Wasalam
                        Your brother in Islam
                        "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
                          Assalam Aalaykum

                          Jazakallahu khayr sis, you have been very helpful :)

                          Just one last question, how do I get her to sit down with me?

                          Basically whenever I am home, I only get to see her in the sitting room, if the TV is on she doesnt let anyone speak, so no discussion there :(. Dont really feel comfortable going in her bedroom, or she wants to know why I wanna come into her bedroom?

                          The only other thing is the kitchen, maybe help her with dishes or something, but then how do I start the conversation?

                          Any feedback will be much appreciated.

                          Barakallahu feek
                          it seems like your sister is like any other teenager who doesn't like to talk to parents about things. by not letting anyone speak while the tv is on and the questioning you when you want to come into her bedroom just shows that she is avoiding a serious discussion at all cost. this just goes to show that you should not try to lecture to her about this things or she might just retaliate by not wanting to wear the hijab. if you push her too hard, it will give her the edge to be rebellious. i gather that you have been trying to get her to wear the hijab for many years yet she insisted she is not ready even now. i believe that she has not been exactly hearing what you've been trying to tell her all the time, about wearing hijab. she thinks you are just nagging at her and telling her what to do. so she did not allow herself to embrace the advice you've been giving her. how to communicate with her? treat her to a movie if she's wary of your motive, promise her that you won't nag her about wearing the hijab because what you need to do right now is listen. i know you said you've listen to your sister talk on and on about her friends. but it seems like you have not really listen. to you, all she is saying may be insignificant but in truth, you have to know what she's going through in order to help her through this journey. you have to put yourself in her shoes. what izzit like to be her? with her family urging her to wear the hijab and her non-islamic friends who wear hijab. if some of her islamic friends do not wear hijab then i believe she is in a very confusing situation. because the example her friends are setting is very ironic. you have to understand her, how she feels about wearing the hijab, her queries and doubts. listen to what she says about her friends; maybe, she's afraid of what her friends might think when she start wearing the hijab. and at this moment, i think it's best if you stop trying to get to her to wear the hijab. and yes, she has to be the one asking the questions. so ask her to ask you anything she wants to know regarding the issue and carefully avoid insisting she wear the hijab. you must be able to present things in a neutral manner. if she does pose some questions to you, it's a good sign because then, she is curious to learn about it and possibly giving thought to the issue. also, once you find out the reason for her unreadiness to wear the hijab (she won't tell you directly, you have to listen to what she says and pick out what's causing her uneasiness.), you have to assess the situation. i can't help you on what more could be done, not until i know what's bothering her. i wish you all the best..
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                          • #28
                            :salams

                            I was watching an interesting lecture in which a convert brother was talking about the ways of the noble Prophet Isa/Jesus (as).

                            He mentioned something interesting. In all the images of the Prophet's mother, Mary (blessings upon her) which are revered by Christians, find one traditional image where her hair is uncovered?

                            :wswrwb:
                            Muslim while flying

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                            • #29
                              Good point...

                              :up:
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