Muslim Woman

[marywelbeck]

Is there such a thing as a standard of "ideal" Muslim women?

What would you say the "Ideal" Muslim woman would be like? (Physically, Mentally, Religiously, Characteristics, Etc.)

What is life like, or meant to be, for a Muslim woman?

Thanks in advance for the answers.
Mary

[eesa the kiwi]

Re: Muslim Woman

i've posted a link
https://www.islamweb.net/ver2/engblu...ersonality.pdf
its a pdf on a book called the ideal muslimah
hope this helps

[Araby]

Re: Muslim Woman

looking for being ideal means that you are an ideal Muslim woman. starting searching how to act as an ideal woman means that you are an ideal woman. being good wife, good daughter, good sister, good aunt good neighbor.
an Arabic verse says : Our mothers are like our schools
pampering them means securing our future


Literal translation: the mother is a school if you prepare (her well), you, then, prepare a people of a good race (behavior)
the most important characteristic of ideal Muslim woman is Chastity. other thing is the (wlood) the one who have babies , the one who obey her husband and show him great respect.
i hope you find that useful

[Araby]

Re: Muslim Woman

A man asked the Prophet (Peace be upon him): Who is more worthy of my good company? He (Peace be upon him) answered: "Your mother". The man asked: Who is then? He reiterated: "Your mother". The man asked: Who is then? He reiterated: "Your mother". The man asked: Who is then? He said: "Your father".

[drac16]

Re: Muslim Woman

Hello, Mary.

There have been excellent examples throughout history of women living righteous lives. Muslims hold four women in an especially high regard.

-Khadijah (Prophet Muhammad's first wife)

-Fatima (Prophet Muhammad's daughter)

-Asiya (the wife of Pharoah)

-Maryam (the mother of Jesus)

Being a good muslim woman means to cultivate what is known as 'taqwa'. Taqwa means righteousness. In a more broad sense, taqwa is to be conscious of Allah/God at all times. Being sober minded, praising Allah in good times and in bad times, subjugating desires that come from your ego, being loyal and courteous to your parents, etc. All four of the women mentioned above had those good qualities [and more] in abundance.

[eesa the kiwi]

Re: Muslim Woman

there is also an entire chapter in the quran named after maryam, you should read this (especially considering you share her name)
also the story of asiya is very inspiring how she stood up to pharoah
i found this online by Sheikh Omar Bakri Muhammad
And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Fir'aun (Pharaoh), when she said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work, and save me from the people who are Zalimun (polytheists, wrong-doers and disbelievers in Allah). [66:11]

Asiya (ra) was the wife of Pharaoh and she is a real life example for the believers of today . Allah (swt) made her an example and symbol of the deen for the women. For anyone wanting to seek guidance and follow the Sunnah this is an excellent example. She had maturity and understanding in the deen desiring only the akhirah. She said I do not want anything in the dunya I want to be near to you Oh my Lord by having a house in Jannah.

Whenever we look for house in the dunya we check the neighbours to see if they are good in order to make our decision on taking the house, yet Asiya (ra) said to Allah (swt) that I want your neighbourhood in jannah.

Asiya (ra) said that I came out from obedience to Pharaoh, usually it is forbidden to disobey the husband but for her to do so was qurba ilallah (to become closer to Allah). Even though she benefited so much by being with him in terms of living such a luxurious life she left all of it and she rejected to live in his palace or to have his servants for the sake of Allah (swt).

She said to Pharaoh; I will not accept to live with you, she said; Oh enemy of Allah I am free from you and anything that you did before and I reject you, you see from me nothing but plotting to kill you and complete animosity towards you. He said to her; stop saying it otherwise you will be deported.

Ibn Abbas (ra) said that she ran away in order to seek the guidance of Allah (swt). He had her arrested and tortured for 3 days burning her body and yet she continued to say I reject you and do not want anything to do with you.

[marywelbeck]

Re: Muslim Woman

Thank You for information.

I will have a look into those Women you mentioned, I'm sure they are all great examples.

A slight variation on the question. IF (again "IF") I was to convert, what would be expected of me as a Muslim women?

As usually all information and advice is welcomed and gratefully excepted.

Mary

[shay5]

Re: Muslim Woman

Thank You for information.

I will have a look into those Women you mentioned, I'm sure they are all great examples.

A slight variation on the question. IF (again "IF") I was to convert, what would be expected of me as a Muslim women?

As usually all information and advice is welcomed and gratefully excepted.

Mary

>> it difficult to give you things, modesty, manners and a good character is important..maybe if you gave us scenario and we could tell yu what is expected of a Muslim woman..in that situation..did you hear anything that concerns you...we could dispel any rumours?

[marywelbeck]

Re: Muslim Woman

Off the top of my head I can't think of any scenarios.

Sorry
Mary

[eesa the kiwi]

Re: Muslim Woman

realistically what is expected of you IF you convert is basically the same as what is expected of muslim males (there are a few variations)
i've posted an article about islamic character hope this helps
Allah says:

And obey Allah and the Messenger, that you (all) may be shown mercy

[Surah Al-Imran:132]

If you are hopeful for the mercy of Allah it depends on your obedience to Allah and His Messenger (sallAllahu alaihi wa sallam). If you hope for Allah’s mercy you must be obedient to Him.

Allah says:

And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous.

[Surah Al-Imran:133]

Sari’oo means running towards something. Allah describes in the ayaat before as people running towards dunya. Now he says run towards forgiveness. We run towards things we are in need of. So we need to acknowledge that we are in need of Allah’s forgiveness. We are not free of sin.

And the second incentive is, run towards Jannah that is prepared for the muttaqeen, those who are truly cautious, afraid and careful. What are the qualities of these people of Taqwa? Allah goes on to describe them.

First Quality

Allay says:

Those Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship

[Surah Al-Imran:134]

If anyone else sells you something without showing you the product you wouldn’t buy it. But we have not seen Jannah yet we trust Allah. So Allah is selling Jannah. But selling involves an exchange and everything we have is Allah’s anyway, so what is the exchange? There is no exchange, but Allah speaks in terms we will understand, because we are greedy and always look for a good deal. Spending here also includes spending energy and not just money, Allah did not say amwaal (wealth, assets) but anfaq, includes wealth, time, youth, energy, priority, planning. It means sacrificing for Allah, losing and letting go of the things we love for the sake of Allah to get this attribute of Taqwa.

Second Quality
Allah says:

And who restrain (swallow) their anger

[Surah Al-Imran:134]

The verse implies those who swallow their anger consistently, ism faa’il is used. Swallowing anger meaning controlling yourself as if the anger is not even there, when you swallow food it’s gone. So when you get angry you swallow your anger as if it’s not even there, not showing it. If little things always make us upset and annoy us how do we expect Allah to forgive our big sins? This shows a lack of restraint.

Abu Huraira narrates the Prophet said:

The strong person is not he who is able to physically overcome people. The strong person is he who overcomes his rage when he is angry.

[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73 (Kitab Al-Adab), Hadith 135, also in Sahih Muslim, Ahmad]

Ibn Abaass narrates the Prophet said:

He who gives time to a debtor or forgives him, then Allah will save him from the heat of Jahannam (Hell-fire). Behold! The deeds of Paradise are difficult to reach, for they are on top of a hill, while the deeds of the Fire are easy to find in the lowlands. The happy person is he who is saved from the tests. Verily, there is no dose of anything better to Allah than a dose of rage that the servant controls, and whenever the servant of Allah controls it, he will be internally filled with faith.

[Musnad Ahmad, classed as Sahih]

Third Quality

Allah says:

and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good (who excel in good);

[Surah Al-Imran:134]

Forgiving vs Forgiving out of Love Allah does not say “ghafireen” but “afeen”, meaning those who not only forgive, but forgive out of love. This ayah means They forgive those who treat them with injustice. Therefore, they do not hold any ill feelings about anyone in their hearts, and this is the most excellent conduct in this regard, which is why Allah describes them as Muhsineen. Forgiveness by definition means forgiving those who don’t deserve it. You are not forgiving for their sake, but your sake, so you can be part of the people of Taqwa.

Allah says

Shaytaan will no doubt try to cause dissent among you.

[Surah Al-Israa:53]

Hasan and his servant who dropped the drinks Hasan (radiAllahu anhu) was sitting with sahaba and his servant brought his drinks. On his way, he dropped the drinks and this upset Hasan. The servant immediately recited:

Servant: And those who swallow their anger

Hasan: I have swallowed my anger.

Servant: And they lovingly forgive people

Hasan: I have also forgiven you.

Servant: And Allah loves those who excel in good

Hasan: Go my servant, I have freed you

Hasan heard and he obeyed. These ayaat are supposed to exact change in our behavior. We are very nice at work and school but come to the masjid with a frown, talking bad about our brother. We are cut-throat when it comes to the Muslims.

Abu Bakr and the accusation against his daughter Aisha Take the example of Abu Bakr. There is no man that loved Rasulullah (sallAllahu alaihi wa sallam) more than Abu Bakr, his loved surpassed anybody else’s love. Moreover, his daughter was married to Rasulullah. So Abu Bakr loves Rasulullah is the messenger and because he is family. The daughter of Abu Bakr and wife of Rasulullah was accused in an ugly way (in surah Nur) by someone who he gave an allowance. Abu Bakr had every right to be angry and punish this man, how did he exact his anger? He discontinued the allowance he gave to his man. That’s all. What a big heart. Allah set such a high standard for him. Allah gives him advice in the Quran.

Allah says:

and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

[Surah Nur:22]

So is your anger and revenge worth more, or is the forgiveness of Allah worth more? If Allah’s forgiveness is worth more, you will forget about whether the person who wronged you deserves it or not, whether they are a nice person or not.

Fourth Quality

Allah says:

And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins – and who can forgive sins except Allah ? – and [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know.

[Surah Al-Imran:135]

Allah here is talking about the muttaqeen doing any act of shamelessness. Whether it was a gaze that we hid or a sin we did in the middle of the night or a Fajr prayer we missed. The muttaqeen are being described that they may fall into these traps. This is easier to understand now than ever before. You can’t take a 10 minute trip without being exposed to fahsha 100s of times. They will make mistakes, but there is something they do after the mistake. They remember Allah.

Abu Huraira narrates that the Prophet said:

A man once committed an error and said: O Lord! I committed an error, so forgive me.
Allah: My servant committed an error and knew that he has a Lord Who forgives or punishes for the error. I have forgiven My servant.
The man committed another error and said: O Lord! I committed an error, so forgive me.
Allah: My servant knew that he has a Lord Who forgives or punishes for the sin. I have forgiven My servant.
The man committed another error and said: O Lord! I committed an error, so forgive me.
Allah: My servant knew that he has a Lord Who forgives or punishes for the error. I have forgiven my servant.
He then committed another error and said: O Lord! I committed an error, so forgive me.
Allah: My servant knew that he has a Lord Who forgives or punishes for the error. Bear witness that I have forgiven My servant, so let him do whatever he likes.

[Musnad Ahmad]

A Trick of Shaytaan When you do something bad and you are responsible to someone for that act, you avoid contact with them, because you know you have disappointed them. When we sin who have we disappointed? Allah. So shaytaan comes to you and says will you do good after you have sinned? You are a hypocrite, two faced. So he keeps you in sin, makes you feel embarrassed to go in front of Allah and keeps you in sin. The true muttaq as soon as he does something wrong he remembers Allah right away (not fa or thumma dhakarullah but dhakarullah).

Then they ask forgiveness from Allah for their embarrassing sins. The word for sin used here is “dhunoob”, comes from “dhanab”, that which you are not proud of, that which humiliates you. Allah says “and who can forgive sins except Allah?” Who else do we have to turn to except Allah? Only Allah knows the sins in our closet that Allah has not exposed, we need to find time to ask Allah for forgiveness.

The example of a child I was at a mall and saw a mother yelling at her child and even hitting him. Although the child was crying profusely he was still holding on to his mother. Because that is his world, he has nowhere else to turn to; around him are all tall strangers. In the same way, we have nowhere else to turn to but Allah when we sin. Where do we go, where else is there to go, who do we turn to? Even if we disappoint and fall short of the standards of our Lord we never lose hope in his mercy, we are not allowed to lose hope in him.

Written by: Abd Ar-Rafae

[neelu]

Re: Muslim Woman

Is there such a thing as a standard of "ideal" Muslim women?

What would you say the "Ideal" Muslim woman would be like? (Physically, Mentally, Religiously, Characteristics, Etc.)

What is life like, or meant to be, for a Muslim woman?

Thanks in advance for the answers.
Mary

I think there's a hadith reference which says (as someone else has already mentioned) that the best Muslim women were Khadija, Fatima, Asiya and Maryam may Allah be pleased with them all. There is no 'physical' appearance 'ideal' when it comes to Muslim women because Islam is for all mankind which is why Muslims are so diverse and come from all over the world and are of various sizes, skin tones and appearances. The one sunnah (recommended Islamic practice) that might affect one's physical appearance is the hadith which discourages overeating but that's about it.

Mentally and religiously a Muslim woman (and the same applies to men) should have taqwa and tawakkul. Taqwa means God consciousness, which means being mindful that Allah is watching so as to avoid sins and live a lifestyle that pleases Him (swt). For example, a person might think he can get away with stealing or having an extra marital affair because he hasn't been caught but a person with taqwa knows that Allah (swt) is watching even if no one else sees and that awareness helps people avoid sins.

I think tawakkul means putting trust in Allah (swt) which is what causes people to maintain a sense of resilience that Allah (swt) ultimately provides and takes care of us. So for example a woman loses her home in an earthquake and maybe loses her spouse as well and for some people that can cause them to have a nervous breakdown or give up hope but a person with a strong sense of tawakkul remains resilient because of the understanding that no one is guaranteed a long life, no one is guaranteed wealth, death or disaster can strike at any time and ultimately, these things are in Allah's hands. So an 'ideal' Muslim woman would have a strong sense of taqwa and resilience based on tawakkul.

Thank You for information.

I will have a look into those Women you mentioned, I'm sure they are all great examples.

A slight variation on the question. IF (again "IF") I was to convert, what would be expected of me as a Muslim women?

As usually all information and advice is welcomed and gratefully excepted.

Mary

If you were to convert, well first of all it depends on why you convert. Some people who convert for the sake of marrying a Muslim, the expectations of the marriage in that case are different because it's not the same as converting for entirely religious reasons. Anyway, to convert properly for the sake of Allah, the expectation would be that you learn to incorporate the practising of Islam in your day to day routine. That would mean covering when you leave the house with at the very least a headscarf and probably abaya as well. It would mean always covering your head in front of unrelated men, even if they were in your house. It would mean having to learn to do the five daily prayers. It would mean having to avoid pork, alcohol and whatever else is forbidden (you'd be surprised how many gelatine sweets and stuff like that you'd have to avoid). It would mean having to distance yourself from environments that serve alcohol like the pubs or clubs and also distancing yourself from unrelated men in your life.

There's other stuff too but I'd rather not overwhelm you with too much at once. Besides, the more important thing you have to realise is not so much the lifestyle changes, but the test that comes with converting. I think the real test for many is the fact that converting to Islam will change your relationships with everyone around you, even if you don't practice it much or start off trying to hide your beliefs, it will still change things. The tests will be hard cos' on the one hand, many non Muslims may start to view you as an outsider, possibly becoming hostile and on the other, in some communities, Muslims can be very distrustful of converts, or wont be very welcoming in the mosques, or they are bogged down with some weird cultural understanding of Islam so again, they may see you as an outsider too and that can become isolating and difficult, especially if family members throw you out of the house and you have a hard time finding support.

I'm not saying all that to dissuade you, after all this is the embracing of the true worship of Allah (swt), it is finding the true purpose of life and it is worth sticking with no matter what challenges come your way, but I don't want you to enter Islam under any illusions that everyone plays happy families and will love you like another sister (I hope lots of people care for you as a sister, I'm just saying some people have had disappointing experiences with the community too so don't say no one ever told you that might happen).

Oh one other thing, if you're white, you will get a LOT of men wanting to propose to you for all the wrong reasons. You'll need to be very discerning when it comes to dealing with that, take your time and don't marry anyone until you learn enough about Islam to know what your (and his) rights and responsibilities are so that you don't get duped by an unsavoury character who takes advantage of your lack of knowledge.

[marywelbeck]

Re: Muslim Woman

Thank you Neelu.

It is nice to have someone speak from a realistic point of view and talk about the potential cons.

[TCKMuslima]

Re: Muslim Woman

Thank You for information.

I will have a look into those Women you mentioned, I'm sure they are all great examples.

A slight variation on the question. IF (again "IF") I was to convert, what would be expected of me as a Muslim women?

As usually all information and advice is welcomed and gratefully excepted.

Mary

I would say first look into Islam and see if you are convinced it is the truth. Don't get distracted or discouraged right now about how you will have to change your life etc.

Let the change be inside then out. IF you convert, work on your faith and in sha Allah (God willing) the lifestyle changes can come later when you're more ready for them.

For now focus on the main core ideology of islam. Being an ideal muslim woman is not any different than being an ideal muslim man as it relates to your relationship with God.
The differences lie within your relationships to other people and your roles in society.