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Society is too hard on the youngsters

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  • Society is too hard on the youngsters

    On this forum and in real life I've seen so many cases of Person X wants to get married but because of this reason or that they should not. So the parents make it difficult for them. And also people shame those who want to get married early as being immature, but let's be honest in this society, people dont care about marriage because they can date until they find"the one" that is if they ever plan on getting married, basically they can seek companion ship outside of marriage, because they aren't muslim. but as for muslims its haram for them to even sit with and idly chat with the opposite sex, so just think of how difficult this would get after years considering that companionship (and im not even reffering to anything physical) but just emotionally speaking humans need that. Why do that? Islam was made to be easy not difficult and the prophet :saw: did tell people to get married young so why do people try to convince people they should Idk be monks until they are like thirty? its so stupid and then people look down on people who want to get married early like oh "thirsty".
    Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

  • #2
    Society is too hard on the youngsters

    You tell them girl
    Last edited by iRepIslam; 28-10-14, 09:37 PM.
    The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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    • #3
      Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

      Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
      You tell them girl, especially on this forum.
      I know. it gets so sad reading all of those things in the section above. the whole section is depressing to go to. I feel like people are mixing the western culture of getting married later on in life with the islamic concept of staying away from the opposite sex. and hey it might work for some, but we can't blame those who it doesn't work for.
      Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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      • #4
        Society is too hard on the youngsters

        Mhmm. We should follow the advice of the prophet :saw: and marry young for it saves us from sins, but cultural requirements that tell you when you're ready to marry say otherwise.. Eg degrees and all sorts.. :insha: let's all try best and ignore them, because no marriage for some people does more harm than good.
        Last edited by iRepIslam; 28-10-14, 07:33 PM.
        The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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        • #5
          Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

          :salams

          :jkk:

          Sadly, those who need to learn aren't on this Forum.

          Lol @ "thirsty"
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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          • #6
            Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

            ^true, true, that's what i was thinking.
            Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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            • #7
              Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

              People just want to be safe today. You can get married at a young age, but maturity will be questioned. The girls will be questioned from her in-laws for not doing specific tasks say or being too childish even tho she probably between the age 18-20, many young married girls complain about the expectation they have and can't simply cope with it. What happens few years down the road your marriage doesn't last and you have 1-2 kids and you left your education? I think today we just are more likely to be bit protective/safe and have something to lean back on.

              :saw: did tell people to get married young, but at the same time Allah (swt) has told us the importance of sabr, which is the problem today, because people don't have that end up fighting/arguing with parents, choosing the wrong spouse have horror stories, which scares others.

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              • #8
                Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                There seems to be something wrong with wanting to get married because you're thirsty but nothing wrong with zina cos you are thirsty. God created everyone with needs including women which people tend to forget. If you don't have these needs, it means something is wrong and you need to go see your doc. Imagine if people didn't have these 'needs,' there would be no procreation or it would be forced. Being 'thirsty' just means you're nornal and you should be happy. Also more Muslim parents need to have the 'talk' with their kids as cringe as it is.
                Last edited by HopefulOne; 28-10-14, 10:57 PM.
                [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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                • #9
                  Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                  :salams

                  hmmmm :/

                  :insha: We will be rewarded for our struggle. The struggle is real.
                  [SIZE=4][COLOR="#FF0000"][FONT=Book Antiqua][CENTER][B][URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?459504-Immensely-rewarding-dhikr!!!&highlight="]IMMENSELY REWARDING DHIKR!!![/URL][/B][/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

                  [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR="#2F4F4F"][CENTER]Before you post, think..."Will this help me when I stand before Allah?" If it doesn't, then you're wasting time....[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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                  • #10
                    Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                    Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
                    There seems to be something wrong with wanting to get married because you're thirsty but nothing wrong with zina cos you are thirsty. God created everyone with needs including women which people tend to forget. If you don't have these needs, it means something is wrong and you need to go see your doc. Imagine if people didn't have these 'needs,' there would be no procreation or it would be forced. Being 'thirsty' just means you're nornal and you should be happy. Also more Muslim parents need to have the 'talk' with their kids as cringe as it is.
                    I noticed that too. even one of my very liberal teachers once refered to mormon girls (on the sly she wouldnt say it out right) as being (well i wont say it) because they got married early. but apparently the kids who lose their virginity at the age 14 aren't. hmm. ok.
                    Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                      Originally posted by Winter View Post
                      People just want to be safe today. You can get married at a young age, but maturity will be questioned. The girls will be questioned from her in-laws for not doing specific tasks say or being too childish even tho she probably between the age 18-20, many young married girls complain about the expectation they have and can't simply cope with it. What happens few years down the road your marriage doesn't last and you have 1-2 kids and you left your education? I think today we just are more likely to be bit protective/safe and have something to lean back on.

                      :saw: did tell people to get married young, but at the same time Allah (swt) has told us the importance of sabr, which is the problem today, because people don't have that end up fighting/arguing with parents, choosing the wrong spouse have horror stories, which scares others.
                      i get that too but i feel that for cultural reasons more than practical reasons do a lot of parents expect to much from the DIL. They want her to be from this tribe this family, behave like this cook like this. they forget their son is an adult and has a brain that can judge just as well as theirs. I dont believe everyone should rush into marriage but if they want to and they are adults, what ever happens after that is up to them, it might not work out, it might work well, but at the end of the day it was their own decision.
                      Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                        Originally posted by hadmatter View Post
                        i get that too but i feel that for cultural reasons more than practical reasons do a lot of parents expect to much from the DIL. They want her to be from this tribe this family, behave like this cook like this. they forget their son is an adult and has a brain that can judge just as well as theirs. I dont believe everyone should rush into marriage but if they want to and they are adults, what ever happens after that is up to them, it might not work out, it might work well, but at the end of the day it was their own decision.
                        That stuff only happens in bollywood movies. Sure some parents want their kid to marry someone from the same caste but it's super exaggerated. Parents (mostly) just want what they think is best for their child. They should be even more careful now because now-a-days people don't have any common sense and want to marry the first person that gives them a wink.

                        "what ever happens after that is up to them, it might not work out, it might work well, but at the end of the day it was their own decision."

                        What kind of parents would they be if they just let their child just "give it a shot." Parents are supposed to stop their child from making mistakes, not let him figure it out themselves.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                          Originally posted by Musicisme656 View Post
                          That stuff only happens in bollywood movies. Sure some parents want their kid to marry someone from the same caste but it's super exaggerated. Parents (mostly) just want what they think is best for their child. They should be even more careful now because now-a-days people don't have any common sense and want to marry the first person that gives them a wink.

                          "what ever happens after that is up to them, it might not work out, it might work well, but at the end of the day it was their own decision."

                          What kind of parents would they be if they just let their child just "give it a shot." Parents are supposed to stop their child from making mistakes, not let him figure it out themselves.
                          i was exaggerating but believe or not it happens a lot. And what a lot of parents consider "mistakes" aren't actually likely to happen because most of them are unaware of the cultural shift from how things were when they were young to how things are now. for example "you'll be laughed at if you marry a girl from that tribe" in reality no one actually cares about that stuff but their generation. And yes its true sometimes things work out sometimes they don't thats part of life. Adults are not *children*. You can advise them but you cant control them.
                          Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                            To the OP. What's the ideal age? Puberty like in the old days? Then you'll have children having children. That's good, at least they've fulfilled their "urges" but what about sustaining themselves; jobs etc. then you'll have thread upon thread on here about living with in-laws cos people are too young to afford to move out..!!!

                            I personally think a good milestone is completing your education. In the UK, the minimum has got to be a bachelors degree. My son completed his degree last year, and my daughter this summer. Both got married soon after Alhamdolillah, with no drama, no tension, no tantrums.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Society is too hard on the youngsters

                              Originally posted by chameleon View Post
                              To the OP. What's the ideal age? Puberty like in the old days? Then you'll have children having children. That's good, at least they've fulfilled their "urges" but what about sustaining themselves; jobs etc. then you'll have thread upon thread on here about living with in-laws cos people are too young to afford to move out..!!!

                              I personally think a good milestone is completing your education. In the UK, the minimum has got to be a bachelors degree. My son completed his degree last year, and my daughter this summer. Both got married soon after Alhamdolillah, with no drama, no tension, no tantrums.
                              How do you know they never struggled in uni with the opposite gender and what they got up to

                              You don't. Best to marry early as that is the sunnah. You are wrong in your approach but I understand why you say it.
                              Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                              ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                              www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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