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Worried for a friend - advice needed

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  • Worried for a friend - advice needed

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    Last edited by The Awakening; 22-10-14, 12:10 PM.
    اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

  • #2
    Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

    Your friend is stupid to have let all that happen and not do anything. Looks like they influenced her. The best thing to do for her would be to quit her job.
    Why would she want to work at a place where she is forced to attends parties where they spiked her drink? Does she even understand how dangerous that is and how bad it could've gotten?

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    • #3
      Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

      :salams:

      It is very sad to hear this, I feel really bad. I feel bad because she is a Muslim sister and I'm worried about her safety.

      Does she have any family or is she living by herself? She shouldn't have to feel like she needs to work in an environment where she is pressurised to 'fit in'. She has fallen into all that pressure out of fear, and now it has become dangerous and tricky to remind her about her real identity.

      She definitely needs a new job where she is respected. If she took action before then maybe it would not have come to this.

      Keep praying for her, and stay in touch with her, she needs you as her Muslim friend otherwise she won't have any good example. Don't know what else to say really. Finding a job is hard so leaving her job might not be an option for her.

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      • #4
        Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

        SubhanAllah. May Allah swt rectify her heart and eman. Ameen.

        I have seen sisters keep their hijab on through out school, uni, work only to have it off and start partying at the age of 25. It is really sad when i hear/see such a thing. To have held on to the deen and loose it at the last hurdle when you should be a mature adult.
        Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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        • #5
          Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

          Was she religious before working? Was work such a necessity for her that she had to go do it in a mixed environment? Work is a place we spend a huge portion of our day in, most of our lives. It's common sense to know that the environment will influence us.

          It's going to be difficult getting through to her, she sounds like she has a "rebel mentality", and may see your interference as a hindrance rather than a helping hand. As someone mentioned, best thing you can do is try to stay in touch with her, and be as much of a role model as you can to her.
          A Fast Growing Islamic Search Website -

          www.Searching-Islam.com

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          • #6
            Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

            :wswrwb:

            Firstly, remember that Allah guides whom He wills. All you can do is help her seek Islam and do your best. Don't blame yourself if things don't work out for your friend.

            Do you wear hijab yourself (you don't have to answer here)? If you do, then that will be a source of inspiration for her, as well. Hang out more often with your friend and keep her in the company of practicing Muslim sisters who dress modestly. Don't lose contact with her. When you see or talk to your friend, show your surprise with how much she has changed and remind her of her mistakes in abandoning her Islam. Explain to her what you just did here - show her that her environment at work changed her into what she has now become. Remind her of Islam's commandments and ideas, set a good example for her, and try to give her better company. Get her involved in more Islamic social activities.

            You should've advised your friend when you found out that she was being harassed in her workplace the first time to avoid these consequences. But again, if her Imaan changed from that harassment, then maybe that's her own trial. I know many people in similar situations that did not abandon their hijab or give in to these temptations. At this point, try to find a new job for your friend where the people and environment are accepting of people of different backgrounds and more open-minded.
            Last edited by starrynight11; 21-10-14, 12:36 AM.
            Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
            "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
              :salams:

              It is very sad to hear this, I feel really bad. I feel bad because she is a Muslim sister and I'm worried about her safety.

              Does she have any family or is she living by herself? She shouldn't have to feel like she needs to work in an environment where she is pressurised to 'fit in'. She has fallen into all that pressure out of fear, and now it has become dangerous and tricky to remind her about her real identity.

              She definitely needs a new job where she is respected. If she took action before then maybe it would not have come to this.

              Keep praying for her, and stay in touch with her, she needs you as her Muslim friend otherwise she won't have any good example. Don't know what else to say really. Finding a job is hard so leaving her job might not be an option for her.
              :jkk:
              Last edited by The Awakening; 22-10-14, 12:10 PM.
              اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Perseveranze View Post
                Was she religious before working? Was work such a necessity for her that she had to go do it in a mixed environment? Work is a place we spend a huge portion of our day in, most of our lives. It's common sense to know that the environment will influence us.

                It's going to be difficult getting through to her, she sounds like she has a "rebel mentality", and may see your interference as a hindrance rather than a helping hand. As someone mentioned, best thing you can do is try to stay in touch with her, and be as much of a role model as you can to her.
                :jkk:
                Last edited by The Awakening; 22-10-14, 12:10 PM.
                اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                  :wswrwb:

                  Firstly, remember that Allah guides whom He wills. All you can do is help her seek Islam and do your best. Don't blame yourself if things don't work out for your friend.

                  Do you wear hijab yourself (you don't have to answer here)? If you do, then that will be a source of inspiration for her, as well. Hang out more often with your friend and keep her in the company of practicing Muslim sisters who dress modestly. Don't lose contact with her. When you see or talk to your friend, show your surprise with how much she has changed and remind her of her mistakes in abandoning her Islam. Explain to her what you just did here - show her that her environment at work changed her into what she has now become. Remind her of Islam's commandments and ideas, set a good example for her, and try to give her better company. Get her involved in more Islamic social activities.

                  You should've advised your friend when you found out that she was being harassed in her workplace the first time to avoid these consequences. But again, if her Imaan changed from that harassment, then maybe that's her own trial. I know many people in similar situations that did not abandon their hijab or give in to these temptations. At this point, try to find a new job for your friend where the people and environment are accepting of people of different backgrounds and more open-minded.
                  :jkk:
                  Last edited by The Awakening; 22-10-14, 12:10 PM.
                  اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

                    Anyone have any more advice?
                    اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

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                    • #11
                      Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

                      She should switch to another job, apply to other places even if other places pay a bit less. When I lived up north, I was the only Muslim in my class and the only non white person (there was another Muslimah in my year group but she became an alcoholic). I did hang out with some of the non Muslims in my class but whenever we went out anywhere I would not drink ANYTHING because on TV I'd seen programmes about spiked drinks and rufis so I didn't take any chances. In fact some places I took a carton of juice with me so that people wont continually harass me to drink something lol.

                      I think you should make lots of dua for your friend as Allah (swt) is the turner of hearts. Also ask her if earning money for her studies and dunya, if compromising her deen for her colleagues is really worth signing a faustian contract for? Ever since I heard about faustian contracts I just love that term- it puts things in perspective... even though I haven't read faust's book yet.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                      • #12
                        Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

                        :)
                        Last edited by dizzyfish; 22-02-15, 05:04 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

                          She needs to come to back to her senses by herself. I feel like everyone have pushed her away by constantly telling her to stop

                          Possible solution can be to just start looking for other jobs? Why carry on here when clearly, they are doing things that would make anyone uncomfortable

                          So as hard as it is, leave her be and make dua. Allah will guide her back insha Allah
                          Believe
                          there is
                          good in the world

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                          • #14
                            Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

                            That's a disgusting work environment for her, pray for her

                            I think she might just be going through a phase, only issue is that if you come out like that, she might be offended and fall even deeper. Tough situation indeed.
                            unconditional love for all of mankind.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Worried for a friend - advice needed

                              :jkk: for the replies peeps. Make dua insha Allah that she comes to her senses.
                              اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

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