how do i overcome...

[Simply_Logical]

:salams

hey peeps, im in need some advice and words of wisdom,
im feeling a lot of pain within my soul and heart,
feelings like anger, rage, resentment, regret, remorse,
not just feeling it towards other but especially towards myself...

how do i overcome pain in the soul and heart?

whats the best way to get over psychological issues like post traumatic stress disorder?

any specific duas?

:jkk:

[~Salma~]

[bizzyhoneybee]

Re: how do i overcome...

wa alaykumusalam,

i just have to say...your pain of soul and heart isnt what true pain in the soul and heart is, so youre fortunate. I have trauma stress disorde too, i cant give advice on traunatic stress 'disorder', but i can about the 'pain' you feel of your heart and soul.

You have to let go, your'e perhaps being too hard on yourself. It differs from person to person, some prefer or can handle being unforgiving, punishing and hard on oneself but if its causing you immense pressure on your heart, and need i remind, its "pressure" and not "pain". Okay so all you have to do is stop telling yourself you are resentful, outrageous, and angry in the heart and soul. Unfortunately for regret, it may take weeks to recover from or years if even but the good news is, if you learn to just be accepting that things are the ways they are for so-and-so reasons, you'll give some space youself to breathe.

Do you suffer from grief?
If so, i dont advise but just suggest to learn to cry when youre alone nd sad. Make sure you cry, wipe tears, pick yourself up and move on or in short: learn to live with the (reason) behind your grief, and obvi just beg Allah to heal you etc. Do all your 5 dailies in its time- personally i notcied this has helped in small ways. You can recite Musa (AS) duaa, sorry idk if its the right one but it kinda works:

allahumma'innee lima anzalta illaya min khayrin faQeer.
Kella' Inna' ma'ee rabbi sayahdini.

Hope this helped.
Wa iyyak.

[Muslima London]

Re: how do i overcome...

:salams

hey peeps, im in need some advice and words of wisdom,
im feeling a lot of pain within my soul and heart,
feelings like anger, rage, resentment, regret, remorse,
not just feeling it towards other but especially towards myself...

how do i overcome pain in the soul and heart?

whats the best way to get over psychological issues like post traumatic stress disorder?

any specific duas?

:jkk:

[Simply_Logical]

Re: how do i overcome...

Ameen :jkk:

you got that dua in arabic?

i've been trying hard to do ibadah,
it might sound stupid but it feels like spiritual pain too,
you know its like this pain is hurting my soul,
its kind of difficult to explain, im hoping i make sense

wa alaykumusalam,

i just have to say...your pain of soul and heart isnt what true pain in the soul and heart is, so youre fortunate. I have trauma stress disorde too, i cant give advice on traunatic stress 'disorder', but i can about the 'pain' you feel of your heart and soul.

You have to let go, your'e perhaps being too hard on yourself. It differs from person to person, some prefer or can handle being unforgiving, punishing and hard on oneself but if its causing you immense pressure on your heart, and need i remind, its "pressure" and not "pain". Okay so all you have to do is stop telling yourself you are resentful, outrageous, and angry in the heart and soul. Unfortunately for regret, it may take weeks to recover from or years if even but the good news is, if you learn to just be accepting that things are the ways they are for so-and-so reasons, you'll give some space youself to breathe.

Do you suffer from grief?
If so, i dont advise but just suggest to learn to cry when youre alone nd sad. Make sure you cry, wipe tears, pick yourself up and move on or in short: learn to live with the (reason) behind your grief, and obvi just beg Allah to heal you etc. Do all your 5 dailies in its time- personally i notcied this has helped in small ways. You can recite Musa (AS) duaa, sorry idk if its the right one but it kinda works:

allahumma'innee lima anzalta illaya min khayrin faQeer.
Kella' Inna' ma'ee rabbi sayahdini.

Hope this helped.
Wa iyyak.

im trying to let go but its like a battle its like when i remember Allah ,
i feel like forgive and forget,
but then when something triggers me off i feel so enraged,
defo feel grief, i'll try the dua :jkk:

just turn to allah
whenever you feel that rage, resentment, pain in your haert pick up the quran and read it or read 2 rakaat nafl

cry to the one who relieves all distress, who soothes the heart, in whose hands our very lives lie.

and remember if your are patient You haven't gone into much details about what the anger is about. All i can say is if its about regret then look jjust be reassured that every matter n our life happens because of allah decree, because allah in his wisdom has inflicted us with a trial, wtitht a pain that will bring us nearer to him.

i find that zhikr esp taht of allahs name is very effective in easing anxiety and sadness. remember to memorise the names and what they mean. When you make dua use these names to call upon allah - e.g. when praing for forgivess call upon ya ghafur, and for mercy ya rahman, ya rahim...


May allah ease the pain in your heart

Ameen

anger could be anything to be honest, memories, past and present, just depends on the moment

thats the thing im really impatient,
how does one learn patience?
its something i've been asking myself for years

any specific names of Allah :swt: ?

:jkk:

[bizzyhoneybee]

Re: how do i overcome...

Ameen :jkk:

you got that dua in arabic?

i've been trying hard to do ibadah,
it might sound stupid but it feels like spiritual pain too,
you know its like this pain is hurting my soul,
its kind of difficult to explain, im hoping i make sense

My sincerest of apologies....I'm too exhausted to search for the Arabic, i already just typed it in English-Arabic. If anyone on here can post it for me, I thank you truly.
Look, i dont want to sound bitter but I'll give it to you straight:
You can go on "hurting" inside (although i believe its just a lowy emaan, nothing serious) and wondering what to do about it but its You who will have to make a change. It does Not need to be a big* change, just a small one. Do you wake up for fajr in its time? Or even at least before it, to catch qiyaam? no? Oh well, try working on that first.
I suggest you do a small "Spiritual Recovery list" and from 1) go on down with acts of worship you'll do. Start small, anything that you know you can handle.

Oh and also we should try read quraan often, sure its a bit time-consuming getting through three pages and in you havent even half finished reciting the surah yet...But that requires patience and contemplation over the words i guess.
Oooopps, I got the wrong quote added. Sorry :S I'm that insomniatic atm, make duaa for me plz. thanks. Didnt see that.

[bizzyhoneybee]

Re: how do i overcome...

im trying to let go but its like a battle its like when i remember Allah ,
i feel like forgive and forget,
but then when something triggers me off i feel so enraged,
defo feel grief, i'll try the dua
:jkk:

-__- grief, is a killer.
I dont want to give incorrect, harmful advice yknow but personally I can't forgive, and i'm trying* to forget esp if grief is bc of a reason. Now, idk what your reasons for grief is, maybe its serious or not. If it isnt so serious, I advise you this time and truly, get rid of this grief and say aloud, "Aoothu billahi minashaytaani rajeem" and spit on your left shoulder (dry spit btw...srsly not too much).

I advise you CRY. Just cry, or cry to Allah but whatever you do cry bc it will lessen the load of grief in you for a while. Grief doesnt go easy btw, :/ sad reality i know.. Oh yes and please when you cry, we should try be steady in weeping. do not rip up inside as this will defnitely affect or damage your health or heart.

[SimpleTraveller]

Re: how do i overcome...

:salams

hey peeps, im in need some advice and words of wisdom,
im feeling a lot of pain within my soul and heart,
feelings like anger, rage, resentment, regret, remorse,
not just feeling it towards other but especially towards myself...

how do i overcome pain in the soul and heart?

whats the best way to get over psychological issues like post traumatic stress disorder?

any specific duas?

:jkk:

Walaikumassalam Brother,

Feeling regret, remorse and being harsh on myself is something I have experienced very strongly in my lifetime.

I would recommend the following simple solution to bring you fast, effective relief insha'allah

Try to always keep your tongue busy with the remembrance of Allah (there is a hadith which recommends this which you are most probably aware of)

In particular, focus on a) Making much Istighfar and b) Sending Salawat on the Prophet (peace be upon him) abundantly.

Insha'allah, you will start to notice the difference and feel the change very soon.

[Muslima London]

Re: how do i overcome...

Ya Wahhab - the bestower
Ya razzaq - the provider
Ya wadud - the loving one
Ya Rauf, - the most kind
Ya Hadi - the guide

and there are many more alhamudillah

http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/99names.htm

i was reading a book called 'reclaim your heart' and i found ths.

'indeed, allah will not change the condition of a people until they first change what is in tehemselves (quran 13:11)

we must first conquer greed, selfishness, shirk, ultimate fear, love, hope and dependence on anytihng other then allah. We must conquer hubbad-dunya (love of dunya) teh root of all our diseases, and all our oppression.


so i think what she is saying is look at yoru life, look at the values that you hold in that life. what are you really turning to ,what do you really put your trust in?? like do you put the dunya in your hand and not your heart, or do you put it in your heart and not your hand. Whatever remains in the hand can be let go without grief and pain and whatever is held in hte heart - we are attached to, we strve for , we find it hard to let go off.

If you love anything more then allah you will suffer pain and discontentment in dunya because you are putting something other then allah in yoru heart.

hope it makes sense.

[Fairy]

Re: how do i overcome...

Go see a doctor, there may be some changes with your hormones etc

[Jenicca]

Re: how do i overcome...

:wswrwb:

I'm no stranger to grief hurt or pain.....esp accumulated.

But alhumdolilah I'm very happy.

If you can....go for Umrah. For me there is nothing in this world that compares to sitting at the house of Lord and just letting everything out.

Every pain hurt joy dream desire hope love weakness guilt. ........it's a spiritual cleanser.

And then Madinah. If truth be told I forget my every hurt just at the joy of going to Madinah and then all over my every pain is overcome with grief of leaving Madinah.......I get so sad, I have tears in my eyes as I type now....

As one poster mentioned abundance of istighfaar and salawaat.

If you make a daily habit of it, it will transform your life!! Tried, tested, guaranteed.

If the dhikr of Allah swt can root and remove the love of the entire dunya from the heart it most certainly can remove the pain caused by the dunya.

Dua.......allow yourself to experience the weakness of uboodiyah to find the oneness and greatness of Ruboobiyah.

And the Quran. Attach yourself to the Quran. ...it is a companion the heals, strengthens, nourishes, beautifies. ...and so much more!!!

And try to be happy with the Divine Decree .....ultimately its Allah's will that prevailed and will prevail in every circumstance!!

[Simply_Logical]

Re: how do i overcome...

My sincerest of apologies....I'm too exhausted to search for the Arabic, i already just typed it in English-Arabic. If anyone on here can post it for me, I thank you truly.
Look, i dont want to sound bitter but I'll give it to you straight:
You can go on "hurting" inside (although i believe its just a lowy emaan, nothing serious) and wondering what to do about it but its You who will have to make a change. It does Not need to be a big* change, just a small one. Do you wake up for fajr in its time? Or even at least before it, to catch qiyaam? no? Oh well, try working on that first.
I suggest you do a small "Spiritual Recovery list" and from 1) go on down with acts of worship you'll do. Start small, anything that you know you can handle.

Oh and also we should try read quraan often, sure its a bit time-consuming getting through three pages and in you havent even half finished reciting the surah yet...But that requires patience and contemplation over the words i guess.
Oooopps, I got the wrong quote added. Sorry :S I'm that insomniatic atm, make duaa for me plz. thanks. Didnt see that.

like i said in the other post ive been trying hard to do ibadah,
of course my iman goes up and down its natural for it to fluctuate,
i like most of us on here do have a daily routine when it comes to ibadah,

Walaikumassalam Brother,

Feeling regret, remorse and being harsh on myself is something I have experienced very strongly in my lifetime.

I would recommend the following simple solution to bring you fast, effective relief insha'allah

Try to always keep your tongue busy with the remembrance of Allah (there is a hadith which recommends this which you are most probably aware of)

In particular, focus on a) Making much Istighfar and b) Sending Salawat on the Prophet (peace be upon him) abundantly.

Insha'allah, you will start to notice the difference and feel the change very soon.

:insha:

i'll be honest i have to do ruqyah on myself and family so i do have a set routine like i said,
i do notice a difference when im busy remembering Allah ,
but i just find sometimes that i get exhausted doing ibadah because it feels like its non-stop,
so i have cut down but maybe your right i might need to increase istighfar and salawat

Ya Wahhab - the bestower
Ya razzaq - the provider
Ya wadud - the loving one
Ya Rauf, - the most kind
Ya Hadi - the guide

and there are many more alhamudillah

http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/99names.htm

i was reading a book called 'reclaim your heart' and i found ths.

'indeed, allah will not change the condition of a people until they first change what is in tehemselves (quran 13:11)

we must first conquer greed, selfishness, shirk, ultimate fear, love, hope and dependence on anytihng other then allah. We must conquer hubbad-dunya (love of dunya) teh root of all our diseases, and all our oppression.


so i think what she is saying is look at yoru life, look at the values that you hold in that life. what are you really turning to ,what do you really put your trust in?? like do you put the dunya in your hand and not your heart, or do you put it in your heart and not your hand. Whatever remains in the hand can be let go without grief and pain and whatever is held in hte heart - we are attached to, we strve for , we find it hard to let go off.

If you love anything more then allah you will suffer pain and discontentment in dunya because you are putting something other then allah in yoru heart.

hope it makes sense.

thing is like sometimes i'll listen to a lecture and i will absorb in what is being said,
it will hit home and will make me really reflect,
but then its like in the heat of the moment when i lose my temper,
its like what ive just listened to goes out the window,
and then when i calm down i come back to my sense and feel regret

thanks for the link :jkk:

Go see a doctor, there may be some changes with your hormones etc

already seen my doc

:wswrwb:

I'm no stranger to grief hurt or pain.....esp accumulated.

But alhumdolilah I'm very happy.

If you can....go for Umrah. For me there is nothing in this world that compares to sitting at the house of Lord and just letting everything out.

Every pain hurt joy dream desire hope love weakness guilt. ........it's a spiritual cleanser.

And then Madinah. If truth be told I forget my every hurt just at the joy of going to Madinah and then all over my every pain is overcome with grief of leaving Madinah.......I get so sad, I have tears in my eyes as I type now....

As one poster mentioned abundance of istighfaar and salawaat.

If you make a daily habit of it, it will transform your life!! Tried, tested, guaranteed.

If the dhikr of Allah swt can root and remove the love of the entire dunya from the heart it most certainly can remove the pain caused by the dunya.

Dua.......allow yourself to experience the weakness of uboodiyah to find the oneness and greatness of Ruboobiyah.

And the Quran. Attach yourself to the Quran. ...it is a companion the heals, strengthens, nourishes, beautifies. ...and so much more!!!

And try to be happy with the Divine Decree .....ultimately its Allah's will that prevailed and will prevail in every circumstance!!

that word accumulated is a good word to describe the situation,
just one thing when you say salawat, you mean any one?

[Muslima London]

Re: how do i overcome...

so you get angry quickly??

Say audhubillah...............

if you are standing, sit, if you are sitting, lie down

find it easier to read a book, so then you can actually reflect on the words, read back , hightlight those bits which are relevant.

it's something more 'interactive' then listenng passively to a lecture

[-Ali-]

Re: how do i overcome...

I'm suffering from PTSD, I think you should check out a psychotherapist. I don't think we can change it ourselves since we lack the skills require to cure it ourselves. Besides that, try CBT techniques. Also, try changing things gradually. Like the saying goes --- "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

[Mockingjay]

Re: how do i overcome...

:wswrwb:

You have to take deep breaths. Few times. The negative thinking happens because your brain is lack of oxygen. When oxygen is there, then you can think more positively. That's my way to overcome negative thoughts. Whenever the negative thoughts come up I take some deep breaths and feel better.

The rest............ is cliche. Forgive.