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A friend with hypocritical properties?

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  • A friend with hypocritical properties?

    Assalamu alaikum,

    I wanted your nasiha on having friends that are hypocrites. Meaning they are insincere, and they say one thing to you, but the opposite to another. They often lie about emotions. I feel that I am developing some hypocrisy from their company. These friends are quite close to me, so it would be quite sudden if I were to stop talking to them.


    How do you advise to proceed?

    Jazakallahum khairan.

  • #2
    Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

    I am too having this same problem, my friends s are also very selfish an always taking but never giving in return

    we has been friends for many years but becos of their betreyal I am becoming distant form them and I dnt feel so sad, Its a shame it is happen after so many year but I just donot understand why my friends are now changing and becomin so selfish as we got older

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    • #3
      Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

      Originally posted by sanabsanab View Post
      I am too having this same problem, my friends s are also very selfish an always taking but never giving in return

      we has been friends for many years but becos of their betreyal I am becoming distant form them and I dnt feel so sad, Its a shame it is happen after so many year but I just donot understand why my friends are now changing and becomin so selfish as we got older
      For some reason, there are certain friends I don't mind keep giving to and don't expect anything in return.
      And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

      [an-Nahl 16:53].

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      • #4
        Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

        Originally posted by Magic. View Post
        For some reason, there are certain friends I don't mind keep giving to and don't expect anything in return.
        I feel like that too. I do it though because I know they do appreciate it but may not be able to reciprocate it.
        www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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        • #5
          Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

          Aren't all women like that? I think it's a type of "gossip."

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

            Absolutely not.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

              Originally posted by Magic. View Post
              For some reason, there are certain friends I don't mind keep giving to and don't expect anything in return.
              brother u mistook me, i don't eXPECT to be giving things in return is just i hav helped them sooo many time but wen i was in need they are refused to help me or just ignored me. and i find this very sad how i was always helping them but they ar e not helping me
              i mean with everythings, even wen i asked for advice or a favour they always saying no. even wen i was desperate they said no just because they feel like it but when they needed my help i was alwyas saying yes, if i ever said no they wuould make me feel bad for it

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

                Originally posted by amiracoolhaque View Post
                Assalamu alaikum,

                I wanted your nasiha on having friends that are hypocrites. Meaning they are insincere, and they say one thing to you, but the opposite to another. They often lie about emotions. I feel that I am developing some hypocrisy from their company. These friends are quite close to me, so it would be quite sudden if I were to stop talking to them.

                How do you advise to proceed?

                Jazakallahum khairan.


                Salamu'alaikum its time to call it a day with them.

                you can start by slowly distancing yourself and not answering to them at every joke, every call, every tweets, instagram, any social media means... just keep your distance in shaa Allah

                and ask Allah to guide them and all of us too, ameen.
                "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

                  Originally posted by sanabsanab View Post
                  brother u mistook me, i don't eXPECT to be giving things in return is just i hav helped them sooo many time but wen i was in need they are refused to help me or just ignored me. and i find this very sad how i was always helping them but they ar e not helping me
                  i mean with everythings, even wen i asked for advice or a favour they always saying no. even wen i was desperate they said no just because they feel like it but when they needed my help i was alwyas saying yes, if i ever said no they wuould make me feel bad for it


                  Aaw im sorry you have to go through such distress.

                  ukhti next time you help someone, if its for Allah's sake then expect help only from Allah.

                  if you help someone say for something specific, you can say to them, if I do this for you, you owe me... and then pull the "IOU" card out when you need it most.

                  this is what I do with my fam. When I help out for my creator's sake I dont expect anyone to help or give to me. When I need a favour, and I have helped them with the clear agreement of "you owe me" then I pull this card out.

                  it eases any resentment you may feel towards your friends/fam :)
                  "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                  "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

                    Originally posted by Grimmjow View Post
                    I feel like that too. I do it though because I know they do appreciate it but may not be able to reciprocate it.
                    Alhamdulilah :)
                    "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                    "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

                      Originally posted by candyapple View Post
                      Aaw im sorry you have to go through such distress.

                      ukhti next time you help someone, if its for Allah's sake then expect help only from Allah.

                      if you help someone say for something specific, you can say to them, if I do this for you, you owe me... and then pull the "IOU" card out when you need it most.

                      this is what I do with my fam. When I help out for my creator's sake I dont expect anyone to help or give to me. When I need a favour, and I have helped them with the clear agreement of "you owe me" then I pull this card out.

                      it eases any resentment you may feel towards your friends/fam :)
                      lol thanks, v. gud point aswell

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

                        Originally posted by amiracoolhaque View Post
                        Assalamu alaikum,

                        I wanted your nasiha on having friends that are hypocrites. Meaning they are insincere, and they say one thing to you, but the opposite to another. They often lie about emotions. I feel that I am developing some hypocrisy from their company. These friends are quite close to me, so it would be quite sudden if I were to stop talking to them.


                        How do you advise to proceed?

                        Jazakallahum khairan.
                        i used to be one of them.. i would lose iman and pump it up again.. and advise people to do stuff that i dont do myself.. may Allah forgive me... all i did was basically ask friends what are my flaws.. fix those flaws and learn from peoples mistakes...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: A friend with hypocritical properties?

                          Jazakallah khair sis, I just wanted reassurance that distancing was the right thing. Obviously I need to replace these people and make new friends- any ideas where to find people? I'm going to the masjid for the first time this week inshallah, and I do lots of volunteering too. Anymore places? :)

                          jazakallah khair sister <3

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