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Become something or your a disgrace/failure?

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  • Become something or your a disgrace/failure?

    Anyone ever feel the overbearing stress by your family, i am currently working towards entering law school and feel like I am being watched like a hawk, from everyone, even my extended family and friends. I feel if i fail this, i will be covered in shame and will never be able to show my face to the public again. Its something i think about every hour, of every minute. The test to get into law school is very stressful, as it is not something you can prepare for by memorization, but practice, and even then you can never be sure if your prepared. It stresses me to even think about, i just wanted to vent this to you guys. It seems the tradition and culture that im from(Desi/pakistani), always tries to mould you into this special human being, and the stress of the back talking and the stares you get if you are not up to standard is horrifying. I am constantly told about my cousins and extended family and friends becoming doctors and lawyers, and getting married, its like my parents like to enforce this stress upon me in a way that it might motivate me. But in all honesty its just installing a great amount of fear in me. Anyone know how to deal with this stress?

    One of the things I always try to remember, is that this life is temporary, and that I should not try to worry about these things, but its still very hard when your surrounded by this negativity.


    Thanks for hearing me out, feels good to let it out :D
    unconditional love for all of mankind.

  • #2
    Re: Become something or your a disgrace/failure?

    Originally posted by shann View Post
    Anyone ever feel the overbearing stress by your family, i am currently working towards entering law school and feel like I am being watched like a hawk, from everyone, even my extended family and friends. I feel if i fail this, i will be covered in shame and will never be able to show my face to the public again. Its something i think about every hour, of every minute. The test to get into law school is very stressful, as it is not something you can prepare for by memorization, but practice, and even then you can never be sure if your prepared. It stresses me to even think about, i just wanted to vent this to you guys. It seems the tradition and culture that im from(Desi/pakistani), always tries to mould you into this special human being, and the stress of the back talking and the stares you get if you are not up to standard is horrifying. I am constantly told about my cousins and extended family and friends becoming doctors and lawyers, and getting married, its like my parents like to enforce this stress upon me in a way that it might motivate me. But in all honesty its just installing a great amount of fear in me. Anyone know how to deal with this stress?

    One of the things I always try to remember, is that this life is temporary, and that I should not try to worry about these things, but its still very hard when your surrounded by this negativity.


    Thanks for hearing me out, feels good to let it out :D
    Assalamalaikum, this is a problem that many Pakistani and Indian males face nowadays. I was in a university once and left my studies in between due to which I had to face huge amount of backbiting by relatives and friends and even some would insult me on face. I handled this shame for a long time, but somehow managed to finish my studies with a couple of degrees.

    I understand the point you are trying to make, this is a problem in many Pakistani families, huge stress is put on education and career, without a degree you are nothing and you carry no respect, no chance of future when it comes to jobs and marriage.

    I never really cared about all this, but people will eventually force you into this. Saying that life is temporary is seen as an excuse to get out of things. I suggest you should try an easier career path, something related to business or marketing.

    Even if someone graduates with degrees or becomes a lawyer or a doctor there is no guarantee of a career these days, world is becoming a tougher place when it comes to making a good career. All I can say is you seek help from people around you who understand you.

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    • #3
      Re: Become something or your a disgrace/failure?

      Even if worst case scenario is you fail- like u said it's not the end of the world,it's nothing compared to what other ppl r suffering like those in Iraq, Palestine, Syria, etc. You shouldn't feel like a failure, didn't you complete your undergraduate degree to even be able to apply to law school! Don't stress what the others are thinking-are you doing it for them or for yourself right.

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      • #4
        Re: Become something or your a disgrace/failure?

        Thank you both for the amazing advice
        unconditional love for all of mankind.

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