controlling emotions, self harm

[petals]

Re: controlling emotions, self harm

I tried that website that Sister linked. I liked it. It seems nice, and I was given pages to read through. I'm going to do that. Thanks for putting it here.

And yes, I do feel like I'll get hurt if I say these things. I don't know how to explain, but I never wanted to say these things or tell anyone of it. htere's reasons

amatullaah. yes thats how i feel, but when I get those thoughts I start to realize the fact that suicide is haram so i stop. i used to think of it a lot. i even have plans in my head as to how i'll do it, and this is recently too. i won't do it though. i don't feel like i could. i used to just wish to die but even that is not allowed. i don't know if i explain things properly. it makes sense in my head, all the thoughts. i have a whole load of things in my head that bother me. even the other day the sound of someone eating food made me start to shake and even cry. i can't describe why. those noises were not nice and they brought back bad memories. and at those times is when i lose thinking and start to get all upset. it's werid. i dont understand myself. maybe a therapist would. i dont understand most of the things i do but know that it's most likely abnormal.


thanks for answering. im going to look at those links.

[neelu]

Re: controlling emotions, self harm

Are you the sister who made that thread about being abused by someone? If so then it seems to me like you should harm him, not yourself.

[amatullaah]

Re: controlling emotions, self harm

amatullaah. yes thats how i feel, but when I get those thoughts I start to realize the fact that suicide is haram so i stop. i used to think of it a lot. i even have plans in my head as to how i'll do it, and this is recently too. i won't do it though. i don't feel like i could. i used to just wish to die but even that is not allowed. i don't know if i explain things properly. it makes sense in my head, all the thoughts. i have a whole load of things in my head that bother me. even the other day the sound of someone eating food made me start to shake and even cry. i can't describe why. those noises were not nice and they brought back bad memories. and at those times is when i lose thinking and start to get all upset. it's werid. i dont understand myself. maybe a therapist would. i dont understand most of the things i do but know that it's most likely abnormal.

:salams

Ukhti, it sounds like certain things are triggering traumatic memories which cause you to feel this way. Also, from what you're describing, it sounds as if all these bad thoughts swirling in your head are leading to suicidal ideation and a desire for self-harm.

It's important then for you to learn how to manage your response to things that remind you of past trauma, and how to deal with overwhelming thoughts/emotions that lead to feelings of wanting to self-harm. Do not feel bad about how you feel; these emotions are natural and they are caused by something (whether an event, a memory, a trigger, a chemical problem in the brain, etc.). However, feeling bad about how you feel will only make the matter worse. And Allah Knows Best.

I second Sister's recommendation that you go see a therapist (or a psychiatrist), in order to figure out a) what's going on with your mental/emotional health; b) what is the cause of these emotions; and, c) to learn how to deal with these emotions and the need for self-harm that comes with them. Now I know you said you don't feel comfortable sharing personal information with a professional, but it's very important that you find one that you trust in order to help yourself; and when you do, let them know that you most definitely do not want to engage in self-harming behaviour, but rather, you would like to learn the necessary skills to avoid doing so.

In the meantime, I would suggest you learn mindfulness. It's a very useful skill to have, and it will help you quell the overwhelming thoughts that lead to the desire for self-harm, :bi:.

The next time you find yourself having overwhelming thoughts/emotions, I want you to try the following :insha::

1. Find somewhere you feel comfortable and safe, if this is possible.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Say out loud five things you hear (i.e. "I hear the wind chimes on the porch"), five things you smell (i.e. "I smell the cat's litter box"), and five things you feel (including things on or within your body).
4. Open your eyes.
5. Say out loud five things you see.

If necessary, you can repeat steps 2 through 5 again, or:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Take a breath for 3 seconds, then:
3. Hold your breath for 3 seconds, then;
4. Release your breath 3 seconds.

Repeat steps 2 through 4 as often as necessary.

This is a self-help guide for those suffering from PTSD, but you might find it helpful for dealing with situations when traumatic memories are triggered.

And if you ever feel suicidal, you can also follow the steps in this guide to avoid engaging in any self-harming behaviour, :insha:.

Let me know if the two coping strategies I listed above worked at all (even if they helped just a little bit), and I'll look up some others, :bi:.

And don't forget to make dua' to Allah Ta'Ala to release you of this suffering, as nothing happens without His Permission.

Wa Allahu A'lam.

May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'Ala Protect you from the whispers of shaytan and from harm, and May He Ease your suffering. Ameen.

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Did We not expand for you, [O Muhammad], your breast?
And We removed from you your burden
Which had weighed upon your back
And raised high for you your repute.
For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship].
And to your Lord direct [your] longing.

Surah ash-Sharh, Sahih International Translation