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  • controlling emotions, self harm

    Salam alaykum

    I want help, just any words because this is something I don't have anyone to ask help of. I have a lot of emotions and bad feelings within me, and I feel like it's all kept within. I get to a point where I get really really upset and completely break down; it's because of a lot of thoughts in my head and bad things that get me so upset. I think of self harm a lot and do some things but I don't want to say what they are; I just want some help with it though. I know harming the body is haram so I want to know how I can control this emotion and not harm myself. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I didn't even want to ask this because I don't think people really understand any of it and maybe it's something weird, but I need someone to tell me something about it, please.

  • #2
    Re: controlling emotions, self harm

    :salams

    Please visit a therapist immediately. There was a site a sister posted here for UK citizens, Muslims, for emergency emotional help. I think it was slave4akhira but I can't be sure.

    Here is one: http://www.mwrc.org.uk/helpline/4575283292
    Last edited by |Sister|; 19-06-14, 03:01 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: controlling emotions, self harm

      I guess the only thing that can help me is some form of therapy. I wish I could do this though.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: controlling emotions, self harm

        Originally posted by petals View Post
        I guess the only thing that can help me is some form of therapy. I wish I could do this though.
        Sister, Allah created us social creatures, we need other people's help sometimes. You can't handle everything by yourself, especially if it affects your mind to such a degree that you are harming yourself just to get relief. May Allah ease your affairs and make the Qur'an a comfort to your heart.

        Therapists study the human psyche and deal with these issues for a living. Maybe they will have a solution that can help you. You won't know unless you ask them.

        If you need help this very second, you can use the emergency line in the link I gave you. Or there are a few Muslim sisters on this site http://www.7cupsoftea.com/ that chat 24 hours a day, if you need someone to talk to (but they are not professionals, just someone to talk to if you are lonely, or want to discuss something you're embarrassed to talk about with your family).

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: controlling emotions, self harm

          Originally posted by petals View Post
          Salam alaykum

          I want help, just any words because this is something I don't have anyone to ask help of. I have a lot of emotions and bad feelings within me, and I feel like it's all kept within. I get to a point where I get really really upset and completely break down; it's because of a lot of thoughts in my head and bad things that get me so upset. I think of self harm a lot and do some things but I don't want to say what they are; I just want some help with it though. I know harming the body is haram so I want to know how I can control this emotion and not harm myself. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I didn't even want to ask this because I don't think people really understand any of it and maybe it's something weird, but I need someone to tell me something about it, please.
          Don't harm yourself sis please, talk to someone in person that cares about you. All these evil thoughts are from shaytan, bow your head down on the floor and ask Allah to help your condition and to remove these evil thoughts.

          There are a lot of great brothers and sisters on this forum that can help you, guide you, there's a reason why I stick around here.

          Think about all the blessings that Allah has favoured you with, you will feel a lot better.

          Do not invest your hopes in anyone but Allah and do not fear anything but the consequences and repercussions of your sins!

          Uthmaan R.A

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          • #6
            Re: controlling emotions, self harm

            Is that private though? I don't want to tell anyone. That's why I can't listen to the therapy/counselling advices because I know I can't get that. I can't tell anyone about these things. I can't say why exactly, but I don't want to get hurt. Honestly, I always wish I was dead because I feel it's the only way out of this. I'm worthless anyway.
            Is that private? Like just a form of chatting privately?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: controlling emotions, self harm

              Walaikumsalam.
              Reduce your though, dont overthinking about everything. Also dont use a lot of theory, just prioritize your responsibility. bad though usually appear when we neglecting or procastinate our responsibility.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                Originally posted by petals View Post
                Is that private though? I don't want to tell anyone. That's why I can't listen to the therapy/counselling advices because I know I can't get that. I can't tell anyone about these things. I can't say why exactly, but I don't want to get hurt. Honestly, I always wish I was dead because I feel it's the only way out of this. I'm worthless anyway.
                Is that private? Like just a form of chatting privately?
                Yes it's private and no one will see except you and her. But you do not have to share anything you don't want to with anyone, ever.

                Remember what Prophet Yusuf(as) said? "He said, "I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know." http://quran.com/12/86

                Allah loves the patient, and He never gives a soul more than it can bear. Try listening to Qur'an in your language. Especially this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQs3S4t73_A

                Remember that this life is temporary, it is only a temporary discomfort, and in jannah you will never feel sorrow or regret.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                  Originally posted by petals View Post
                  Salam alaykum

                  I want help, just any words because this is something I don't have anyone to ask help of. I have a lot of emotions and bad feelings within me, and I feel like it's all kept within. I get to a point where I get really really upset and completely break down; it's because of a lot of thoughts in my head and bad things that get me so upset. I think of self harm a lot and do some things but I don't want to say what they are; I just want some help with it though. I know harming the body is haram so I want to know how I can control this emotion and not harm myself. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I didn't even want to ask this because I don't think people really understand any of it and maybe it's something weird, but I need someone to tell me something about it, please.
                  :wswrwb:

                  Ukhti, when you feel this way, do you feel as though your emotions are overwhelming you, and you feel trapped, and that the only way to make it better (i.e. make you feel better), is to hurt yourself? To let out the pain, essentially?
                  Last edited by amatullaah; 19-06-14, 05:50 AM.
                  Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah , Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of the Muslims."(Al-'An`ām, 162-163)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                    Sort of, but not really. I don't know how to describe it. That first part is true; feeling trapped and all that, but being hurting myself to make me feel better is not it at all. It's not to make me feel better. I hate myself and don't know how to control that emotion. I feel as though suicide is haram and thinking of it isn't allowed, not wishing for death, and hurting myself is haram; so I feel trapped with no way out while everything inside my head is bothering me. It's like all these thoughts and bad ones and bad memeories i dont like having. that's when over time I jsut completely breka down. I feel really depressed most of the time, but that all leads to feelsings of anger eventually. I hate myself for a lot of things. Idon't even know why. I have too many issues. I can't explain them all here, and I don't eeven think I should.

                    Thanks Sister. I like that website and was given good pages to look through. I'll try to do that.

                    ill just look at those links for now, i gesss. thanks for thme,

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                      Alsalaamu alaykum

                      Dear sister, how you are feeling, it will pass but we must help ourselves. Harming yourself is never going to end in a positive result. So why waste time on that which his of no benefit? Look after yourself better in shaa Allah.

                      Our connection with Allah aza wa jal can pull us out of bad feelings and thoughts. When we are strong with Allah, nothing can break us, we are able to face anything, no matter how bad it is or seems.

                      This sounds so easy, and to be honest it is. spend more time on your ibadah, spend more time learning and loving the 99 names of Allah aza wa jal. When you are equipped with all the names, there is not one situation in your life, whereby using one of the relevant names of Allah will you not be able to find comfort, aid, protection and guidance

                      When asking for help from Allah aza wa jal, believe in it 100% that you willl get the help. Believe in what you ask of Him, and He will surely grant it for you if it is what is good for you.

                      There are times in life that things are bad, but our purpose here on this earth is one thing, and that is to worship Allah and do good work for His sake.

                      Spend your time wisely, keep yourself busy with beneficial things ie voluntary work to help those less fortunate, . keep good company and talk to people who will help you in your deen and remind you of Allah aza wa jal.

                      Trust Allah to look after you, and you will be taken care of
                      :)

                      This is not psychological advice, this is from the heart advice. In shaa Allah it has some benefit for you sister.

                      May Allah aza wa jal make your situation easier for you and give you strength ameen
                      Last edited by Slave4akhirah; 19-06-14, 10:02 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                        Originally posted by petals View Post
                        Is that private though? I don't want to tell anyone. That's why I can't listen to the therapy/counselling advices because I know I can't get that. I can't tell anyone about these things. I can't say why exactly, but I don't want to get hurt. Honestly, I always wish I was dead because I feel it's the only way out of this. I'm worthless anyway.
                        Is that private? Like just a form of chatting privately?
                        Do you think you will get hurt if you tell people these things you're keeping to yourself?

                        If you find someone you can confide in then although it will be very hard to let these things out, after you do it you will feel some sort of release and it won't hurt so much anymore Inshaa Allah. When we bottle things up and have nobody to talk to, that creates very strong feelings of hopelessness among other feelings, and self harm can come to mind at that time as a sort of release from all the pain. Please don't hurt yourself and talk to someone.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                          Originally posted by petals View Post
                          Is that private though? I don't want to tell anyone. That's why I can't listen to the therapy/counselling advices because I know I can't get that. I can't tell anyone about these things. I can't say why exactly, but I don't want to get hurt. Honestly, I always wish I was dead because I feel it's the only way out of this. I'm worthless anyway.
                          Is that private? Like just a form of chatting privately?
                          Sister, are there any support groups where you are for what you're dealing with? There are often support groups for people who have been abused, or who have depression, or who have some other type of illness, etc. Even if you don't speak, maybe something like this will let you know that you aren't the only one who has experienced what you have and that you can speak out about it.

                          Also, if you are able to go to therapy - just go. You don't have to give names. Just say "someone in my family" or "a friend of the family" etc. hurt you. If you're really worried then you can maybe start by telling them that the experiences you've had are nightmares and that they're affecting your every day life to the point of depression and self harm. I don't normally advocate being less honest, but in this case I think it would be worth it to get some help for you. And really, what you've experienced HAS been a 'nightmare' so to speak, so not completely inaccurate...

                          May Allah alleviate your problems and stresses and grant you ease. Ameen.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                            Originally posted by petals View Post
                            Sort of, but not really. I don't know how to describe it. That first part is true; feeling trapped and all that, but being hurting myself to make me feel better is not it at all. It's not to make me feel better. I hate myself and don't know how to control that emotion. I feel as though suicide is haram and thinking of it isn't allowed, not wishing for death, and hurting myself is haram; so I feel trapped with no way out while everything inside my head is bothering me. It's like all these thoughts and bad ones and bad memeories i dont like having. that's when over time I jsut completely breka down. I feel really depressed most of the time, but that all leads to feelsings of anger eventually. I hate myself for a lot of things. Idon't even know why. I have too many issues. I can't explain them all here, and I don't eeven think I should.

                            Thanks Sister. I like that website and was given good pages to look through. I'll try to do that.

                            ill just look at those links for now, i gesss. thanks for thme,
                            Sorry ukhti, just a quick follow-up. When you feel trapped, and that's makes you feel suicidal, does it feel as though everything bad that has happened to you and everything bad that you think will happen to you comes together, overwhelms you so that you can't think straight, and that's where the feeling of being trapped comes into play?

                            There's a reason I'm asking you these very specific questions, so that I can give you the best advice I can, :bi:. I don't want to see you in pain, ukhti, nor to see you hurt yourself.
                            Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah , Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of the Muslims."(Al-'An`ām, 162-163)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: controlling emotions, self harm

                              ....
                              Last edited by petals; 20-06-14, 05:12 PM.

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