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How do you adapt to being alone?

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  • How do you adapt to being alone?

    When you know you stay true to your faith and refrain from doing bad things, you know you compromised on some friendships, pleasure and time for the sake of god.

    There are times where I simply feel odd being the only practicing one, or even so, the most concerned about lets say working with groupmates of opposite sex, being with them alone, socializing with gossipmongers etc etc. There are times where even finding a friend to pray together with, whther it be in school or in public(when gg out) also becomes almost impossible.

    You feel different and sometimes unsure of yourself, because you are on your own, no one to share your worries and insecurities with. Even those who are my muslim friends, understand that I pray regularly but even they wouldnt go that far to pray WITH me, you know what I mean??

    Sometimes all a girl need is a friend who is somewhat on the same page as her, in religous terms. Someone who we can hang at the mall and go shopping, then when its time to go for prayers, we're both doing it all together like a couple. Heck I wouldnt mind if we prayed by the sands in the beach or in a mall. I'd just feel good with someone by my side.

    I am 18 , and I have a strong desire to be spiritually connected with God. Its just that, it would be nicer if you didnt have to do it all alone.

    Your thoughts on this please?

  • #2
    Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

    I completely understand your toil sister.


    I'm also an 18 year old sister, and I felt incredibly left out at times in my Sixth Form. Many of the time, people even practicing sisters fall into seemingly 'trivial' sins like a slight comment/ look about another which falls into backbiting, or they'll gossip about someone else's affairs or delay prayers.

    We must realize however that no-one is perfect. Seek a companion who will strengthen you at times of despair/ low imaan, but can also comfort you and have a joke with you here and there.


    Sometimes I feel completely lost and wayward in this society, sure, we sin aswell, but it's harder to dissassociate yourself from society when almost everywhere you are you're surrounded by fahisha or people calling you to fahisha.

    Just remain strong willed and remember that Allah is The Bestest Friend you can Ever have.

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    • #3
      Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

      I like being alone, prefer my own company to those who do not understand me or want me to do things their way.

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      • #4
        Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

        I am also feeling lonely :(

        I am being left out by bunch of my friends.

        I hope I am still accepted here. Otherwise, I don't know where else to vent :(

        (I am not trolling. I am truly disappointed recently)
        ~ Don’t trade a house in Jannah :insha:, for a lowly house in this transient world ~

        They want to extinguish the light of Allah with their mouths, but Allah will perfect His light, although the disbelievers dislike it (61 : 8)

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        • #5
          Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

          For the most part, I've had to handle being alone for years as a number of people whom I thought were friends abandoned me. Now there are plenty of acquaintances I get on well with online, facebook friends etc but no one that I feel I could really open up to or call at 1am just because I really felt I needed to vent to someone who understands.

          My advice is try not to be too rigid about your choice in friends. If a person is irreligious and keeps calling you towards sin then of course you have a right to distance yourself from such people but there are also people who aren't necessarily practising or religious but they will respect you and be open to the fact that you are and some of those people will be worth holding on to. I distanced myself from certain people like that years ago cos' I believed I was supposed to surround myself with more 'pious' company and now I think I made a mistake especially as several people from the religious crowd I was involved with turned out to be total a***holes.
          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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          • #6
            Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

            I always thought being alone was the worst thing in life, but it really is just another trap of the shaytan. I now just look at it as another sort of test. The truth is that we have Allah with us, so we are never alone as long as we remember it. I have recently reverted back to Islam from being a terrible apostate (the things I said and did about Allah were terrible) and am now thankful that Allah, with all his Rahma, has guided me back.

            I still do not even know how it started, but I found myself gradually being more interested in the religion of Islam, and began to understand that much of the bad things in life are because of the consequences of my actions. I have the "Feelings for the Same Sex" syndrome, and I blamed the whole world for all of my problems. I thought that it wasn't my fault that I am the way I am, it's Allah's fault, and I was going to do what I wanted. Now I find that I do not need to have any sexual relations with anyone as long as I follow the Deen. Yea, sometimes it is lonely and boring, but its better than going back into sin. The shaytan wants us to feel this way so we can stray, and so he can cross off another notch on his list.

            I find it hard to make friends because if they have decent looks, I find myself straying in thoughts that I should not be having. I still have trouble with keeping my gaze down, and Inshallah I will get better at it. Its just hard to do when people you are sitting right next to you and talking to you. And life in the west has so many temptations that it makes it seem like looking is not such a bad thing, which is simply not true. The second I see a muscular body I want to look more, and it had become like an addiction. I deleted all of my music and movie libraries off of my computer and replaced them with mp3s of Islam from Anwar An-Awlaki and Nouman Khan. Say what you will about them, I like them. Anwar may have been extreme in the end, but his talks about the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and the Companions (RA) are wonderful. I try not to take anything political from anyone at the moment, I just want to learn more about the Deen from mostly Sunni sources. So far, the lectures help me from thinking about bad things, and I learn something new everyday. I never knew that Bakir (as in Abu Bakir (RA)) meant strong young camel!.

            The best thing you could do is to occupy yourself with your religion. Do the exact opposite of what the shaytan wants. Hes going to hell, and Inshallah he wont have us as companions! Eventually, you will find friends that are worth keeping. You do not need the whole world to like you, and do not try to please everyone - that is doomed to fail. Instead, do like Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught and walk the middle road. Don't be too extreme, and try to keep everything in balance.

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            • #7
              Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

              Don't feel lonely, start to find a good friend which you can increase your emaan that's the better.

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              • #8
                Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

                I try to at least every few weeks go somewhere Islamic like a halaqah where I can be surronded by good people who remind me of Allah and inspire me to be better.
                17-07

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                • #9
                  Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

                  I'm pretty lonely as well. I try to avoid doing haram activities so I have to cancel out of everything...but it's to the point now where I'm not even invited anymore.

                  Wish I knew some practicing sisters in my town

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                  • #10
                    Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

                    Who would like to live alone or go for lonliness ...
                    ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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                    • #11
                      Re: How do you adapt to being alone?

                      Wish we had this community where we could come together and simply have a slumber party. We wouldnt be drowning in sorrow or loneliness, at least not alone! Hugs to all you guys!! :-))

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