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  • Children

    Salam all,

    How many of you on here are married and feeling pressure to have children?
    How do you deal with the pressure from family/friends to have children?
    How do you get around this without disclosing personal matters that are only for you and your spouse?

    Sadly our people do not respect this privacy and will ask personal questions. The blessing of children is from allah swt and a couple will be granted only when he wills it.
    For some reason our families assume that by asking you constantly the answer will change.
    I know often the question is asked out of love/care, however the repeatedness of it can be tiresome.

  • #2
    Re: Children

    Easy - just say 'we are trying but nothing just yet'

    Don't understand why people make it their business, they can make people marry but cannot make people have babies. It will happen when its ready to happen, not when someone tells you to make it happen!

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    • #3
      Re: Children

      Salam,

      lol, if only it was as simple as that. Some of the woman on the forum may understand where i am coming from. Sadly, it's not in my character to be so abrupt, but perhaps I do need to be firmer!

      Do dua for me, jazakhallah for your reply.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Children

        Originally posted by wizard01 View Post
        Easy - just say 'we are trying but nothing just yet'

        Don't understand why people make it their business, they can make people marry but cannot make people have babies. It will happen when its ready to happen, not when someone tells you to make it happen!
        Exactly.

        I don't feel anyone should be pushed to have kids if they aren't ready.

        When the time is right, the time is right.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Children

          Originally posted by Hayya786 View Post
          Salam all,

          How many of you on here are married and feeling pressure to have children?
          How do you deal with the pressure from family/friends to have children?
          How do you get around this without disclosing personal matters that are only for you and your spouse?

          Sadly our people do not respect this privacy and will ask personal questions. The blessing of children is from allah swt and a couple will be granted only when he wills it.
          For some reason our families assume that by asking you constantly the answer will change.
          I know often the question is asked out of love/care, however the repeatedness of it can be tiresome.
          wa alaykum asalaam,

          my sis got a bit down too from people constantly asking her. but she was patient and would just reply by saying when Allah wills, it will happen. She used to avoid certain family gatherings sometimes cos she knew some people would keep asking. i don't think some people are aware how it can get some people down, they just ask and ask without thinking it could hurt people's feelings.
          'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
          Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
          علي الحبشي

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          • #6
            Re: Children

            Salam,

            I can totally relate to that. I have noticed in my self that I am withdrawing from social events so that I don't get bombarded with questions.

            Sadly, women are worse then men. Has your sister been blessed yet Sirius?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Children

              Originally posted by Hayya786 View Post
              Salam,

              I can totally relate to that. I have noticed in my self that I am withdrawing from social events so that I don't get bombarded with questions.

              Sadly, women are worse then men. Has your sister been blessed yet Sirius?
              yes alhamdullilah. but guess what, it didn't stop people asking 'so, when are you having your next one?'.

              never satisfied, lol.
              'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
              Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
              علي الحبشي

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              • #8
                Re: Children

                The best way to answer I suppose would be when Allah wills.

                But I understand your sentiments. Some people just make things so hard. Like mind your own business!
                Allah gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen more and talk less.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Children

                  Allhumduliallah, that's great Sirius. I know what you mean, my hubby jokes and says that's what they will say...

                  I agree Plumeria, everything happens when Allah swt wills it. Ameen

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Children

                    tell them if they're so interested in babies maybe they should be the ones trying to get pregnant

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Children

                      Originally posted by Superwoman View Post
                      tell them if they're so interested in babies maybe they should be the ones trying to get pregnant
                      hahaha

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Children

                        Originally posted by wizard.of.oz View Post
                        hahaha
                        If only I could, the look on their faces woiuild be priceless! But I have some hayya lol

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