Has Allah Spared me?

[piousmuslimah]

I sometimes think, why has Allah spared me?

I lived a difficult two years. To sum it up it involved leaving home, leaving my faith in Islam, assaulted by a man, depressed, bullied, attempting suicide, hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital, using the aid of sins to find happiness, spending a night in jail for something I had not done and so goes on. See despite these bad things I had a plan but of course Allah wanted something else for me. With miraculous turn of events I ended back home, restraining from any sort of sin and restoring my faith in Islam.
But today and sometimes other days I think to myself, why me? I have done so much bad in these last two years and even now sometimes while at work I miss a prayer or I chose sleep over prayer. I have yet to finish the Quran a second time. I have these terrible urges to sin but I fight them.
See I am not a Good Muslim. I do try. I attempt to now bring any happiness to my parents in order to pay for the suffering I caused them. But that to is not enough.

Why has Allah saved me of all people. I was living a life of hell before I was steered back to Islam and back to my parents but now I have never felt so safe and protected in my life.
I still have a court case for the thing I went to jail for and the case just keeps getting adjourned. Is it possible the punishment for my sins is the outcome of the court case? I think the only major worry in my life is that case. I am afraid and as much as I want to believe that Allah will protect me I have a feeling that the worst will happen because I am not a good Muslim.

I really am looking for any sort of console I am just so worried.

[Sky Lark]

Re: Has Allah Spared me?

Salaams sister, its good to know that you got saved. Insha'allah you are a good muslim as you are trying. What is good that you are trying your best.

If you ever feel the urge to commit sin then please stop, and you can talk to us here, anytime.

May Allah make it easy for you and keep you steadfast. Ameen.

[Nuuna]

Re: Has Allah Spared me?

You know the story in the Qur'an about Musa when pharaoh was chasing after him? When they reached the sea and they were now cornered by the sea on one side with nowhere to escape, and pharaoh and his tribe on the other ready to attack. The people with Musa were basically like "man, we're so dead!" and what did Musa reply? He had such strong belief that Allah would not forsake him and leave him as dead meat for pharaoh the baby killer. Rather, he only thought good things about Allah. At a time of crisis, a time of peril, when it looks like you're totally done for, just say what Musa said in a very similar situation "Inna Maiya rabbi sayahdeen" verily with me is my lord he will guide me.

May Allah give you what is best for your situation and make you strong in the face of trials.

[piousmuslimah]

Re: Has Allah Spared me?

You know the story in the Qur'an about Musa when pharaoh was chasing after him? When they reached the sea and they were now cornered by the sea on one side with nowhere to escape, and pharaoh and his tribe on the other ready to attack. The people with Musa were basically like "man, we're so dead!" and what did Musa reply? He had such strong belief that Allah would not forsake him and leave him as dead meat for pharaoh the baby killer. Rather, he only thought good things about Allah. At a time of crisis, a time of peril, when it looks like you're totally done for, just say what Musa said in a very similar situation "Inna Maiya rabbi sayahdeen" verily with me is my lord he will guide me.

May Allah give you what is best for your situation and make you strong in the face of trials.

MashAllah This made me cry. Thank you so much for this

[Muslima London]

Re: Has Allah Spared me?

why shouldn't allah save you??

alhamdulillah, you searched for him, your consciouss bothered you despite your sinning and he showed mercy to you and brought you back to the righteous path.
say alhamdulillah over and over again, for every blessing that yoiu have in your life and remember where you were once upon a time and reflecct on where you are now.

allah increase you in righteousness and iman

Ameen