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a cry for help..

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  • a cry for help..

    Have you ever stood at the edge of the cliff, ready to throw yourself off, just to see who cares? Maybe held a knife taught against your skin, watching the little red drops swell and then trickle down your arm, somewhere right around your sleeve line where it might "accidentally" show? What if this is your life repeating over and over again. But...somehow...nobody was there when you recklessly jumped the edge. You continue to cut perfectly symetrical lines, but no one really sees.

    That is me, I've thrown myself from the cliff's edge countless times, I've killed myself a million times over, but somehow, no one sees me falling. Why won't anyone stop me from jumping this edge? It hurts everytime I throw myself, even more so inside because nobody knows I'm dying. Spiritually, that is. I've wanted to stop, a thousand, no, maybe a million times. But somehow, I manage to slip and tumble on downwards to my peril.

    I seem to be fighting a battle against an infinite army, and I'm the only soldier.
    Then I read surat al-Asr today, and it just dawned on me when I read the ayah و تواصوا بالحق و تواصوا بالصبر. I don't need to fight this on my own, because I'm losing every time. I just need someone I can do تواصي بالصبر(enjoin one another to be patient) with. I need to stop fighting this on my own, and let someone, anyone, try to help me. Yet, who am I to confide in? I really don't know and that's why I'm here.
    Am I looking for support? Maybe, I don't know what I need anymore.

    Seeking your aid, so that we may help enjoin one another in what is right and in being patient.
    Do I sound a little too desperate? Maybe, but only because I truly am clinging at matchsticks amidst a winter maelstrom.

    I pray to Allah, that he grant you reward in this life and in the akhira, even if you help me a little, to become more patient in face of the trials.
    Wa Assalamu alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuhu.

  • #2
    Re: a cry for help..

    All those things are Haram

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: a cry for help..

      do you want to talk about it ?
      we're here if you do, just let it out.
      'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
      Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
      علي الحبشي

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      • #4
        Re: a cry for help..

        Have people hurt you?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: a cry for help..

          Whenever you feel down, sad, lost, desperate talk to Allah

          Pray nafl prayer and cry to Allah.
          Sometimes we don't realise how blessings come in the guise of pain. Hardship and trials.

          Like we can use them to come closer to Allah by raising our hands in dua to him or we can see it negatively.
          In sha Allah turn to Allah and seek true contentment of knowing your lord

          __________________________________________________ _____________________________



          please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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          • #6
            Re: a cry for help..

            lol @ people trying to figure out what she just said

            Anyways, may Allah ease your pain sister. Be strong insha Allah
            Last edited by ugabs; 10-05-14, 10:01 PM.
            Believe
            there is
            good in the world

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            • #7
              Re: a cry for help..

              :wswrwb:
              This forum is full of compassionate people, so don't worry !!
              Bandon say dil naa lagao sirf Allah say lagao.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: a cry for help..

                Originally posted by Sirius View Post
                do you want to talk about it ?
                we're here if you do, just let it out.
                I really feel like I'm drowning. We all make mistakes and then feel pretty stupid about it, but I'm stupid for repeating the same mistakes over and over. I know we are not supposed to disclose our sins if Allah has hidden them from people. Yet, I feel like there is something majorly wrong with me. I'd make the mistake, then feel enourmous guilt and feel my heart die just that much more. And then a new day comes, only to repeat the same mistake.

                Why?

                Why am I so stupid?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: a cry for help..

                  I watched a video I am not a great muslim but this helped me

                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoqhNz7wD3I this might be nice for you

                  http://quran.com/93

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: a cry for help..

                    :wswrwb:

                    I know what the feeling of being spiritually numb but it isnt over until it's over, you are ALIVE sis so you have as much as chance as anyone else to turn it around. Ramadan is around the corner, I hope you get to see it and the shaytan will be in chains, there will be less obstacles getting in your way.

                    People can only care so much, and that is the reality, no matter how much they mean well or love you, they can only care so much. Dont be disappointed with this because they were created faulty, with limitations, always making mistakes, just like you and me, there may have been times where someone else wanted to communicate something so badly but you didnt notice, not because you dont care but because we are human and there is only so much we can understand.

                    I'm not saying dont take help from people but accept that they may not meet your expectations because only Allah knows fully EXACTLY what YOU go through and knows of every single tear. I often have no one to talk to, I just talk to Him and cry as much as I want to. People can misunderstand you but Allah knows you better than you know yourself.



                    Tried and tested When we feel sad, isolated or depressed

                    sorry to link my own thread lol, but i have been through loneliness and sadness and this was an immense comfort
                    also there are some links and tips there

                    I'm sure people do care because I dont know you and even I care but often people disappoint unintentionally so dont let it get you down

                    btw you can talk to us as much as you want on the forum :)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: a cry for help..

                      Originally posted by Nuuna View Post
                      I really feel like I'm drowning. We all make mistakes and then feel pretty stupid about it, but I'm stupid for repeating the same mistakes over and over. I know we are not supposed to disclose our sins if Allah has hidden them from people. Yet, I feel like there is something majorly wrong with me. I'd make the mistake, then feel enourmous guilt and feel my heart die just that much more. And then a new day comes, only to repeat the same mistake.

                      Why?

                      Why am I so stupid?
                      "Say: O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (because of sins), do not despair from the mercy of Allah. Verily, Allah forgives all sins. Verily, He is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Al-Qur'an 39:53]

                      "Verily, Allah loves those who repent and those who purify themselves." [Al-Qur'an 2:222]

                      Lots of useful info on repentence http://www.inter-islam.org/Actions/repent.htm

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: a cry for help..

                        Originally posted by Faissaloo View Post
                        Have people hurt you?
                        No, my torment is purely caused by my own self. Even though I say pain, physically I'm ok.

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                        • #13
                          Re: a cry for help..

                          May Allah make it easy for you, sister we all make mistakes, were not created perfect.
                          I rather be hated by everybody else, but loved by Allah. Than be loved by everybody else and hated by Allah.

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                          • #14
                            Re: a cry for help..

                            Originally posted by SullyT View Post
                            I watched a video I am not a great muslim but this helped me

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoqhNz7wD3I this might be nice for you

                            http://quran.com/93
                            Barak Allah feek, brother. That really helped.
                            It's funny how we know things, yet we forget.
                            Jazaka Allhu khairan for the reminder.

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