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i need someone away from me but he won't go

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  • #16
    Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

    Originally posted by petals View Post
    that is something i didn't understand though. how can du'a change qadr? is there proof of that? i didnt understand.
    asalaamu alaykum.

    Salman Farsi narrated that the Prophet (saws) said, “Dua turns away destiny and good deeds lengthen age" (Sunan al-Tirmidhi).

    The hadith emphasises the power of dua, that if anything could change destiny - then its dua, so you should make alot of wishes to Allah (swt).


    Also u should think good of Allah, because Allah will be to you how u expect of Him. If you expect He'll answer your dua properly, then He will.
    visit this free Muslim marriage agency thats only for practising Muslims! >> www.puremuslimmatch.com

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    • #17
      Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

      I like the above advices

      if you live in the UK, contact muslimah London on the forum, I think she knows a bit about domestic violence or sexual abuse against women etc, and in sha Allah she can advice you on that appropriately,

      it's good to keep a record of everything he has done, because you're right some people have made such a mess of the system that most girls fake being attacked and take advantage of the benefits/attention, therefore make sure you have at least one person who knows about this. contact the muslim women helpline. they're called solace? I think

      do you have a phone? next time he tries to make a move, record it however you can, and learn self defence in sha Allah ( I know this is hard but every little helps), don't let him touch you again, show him you're not a weak victim, or push over just because you're a girl.

      I hope that was helpful, and may Allah swt make it easier for you. - ameeen
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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      • #18
        Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

        :salams:

        Sister, even if the things this person used to do have stopped, I think I posted a news article for you last time where you could record this man in secret and get him to confess all his crimes. Usually this isn't difficult to do, in the sense you hide the recording device on your person, go confront them and ask them why they did all the horrible things they did to you, and how they can live with themselves knowing how much they hurt you.

        I know this isn't going to be easy for you to do, but you must be brave and strong because it means you'll get rid of the person forever by having enough proof to go to the police sister.

        May Allah grant you strength and guidance to do what is necessary. Ameen.
        I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

        Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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        • #19
          Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

          ^ it's not easy though, being brave towards a person who has had this vile attitude towards you since you were young, it's disgusting! he already knows your weaknesses doesn't he? so give him a nasty surprise. I would report it to the police. you can do this over the phone, check on the internet.

          try not to be alone with him
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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          • #20
            Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
            ^ it's not easy though, being brave towards a person who has had this vile attitude towards you since you were young, it's disgusting! he already knows your weaknesses doesn't he? so give him a nasty surprise. I would report it to the police. you can do this over the phone, check on the internet.

            try not to be alone with him
            Like I said, it's not going to be easy, but it's the sure fire way to get the evidence and proof you need. Most times police wouldn't pursue the case. It would be based on here say. One persons word against another. It's where the recording of him confessing would come in to its own.
            I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

            Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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            • #21
              Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

              i dont know how i'd even do that. he kind of lives like it never happened. he doesn't know about any of my issues. throughout the years, i've never brought it up even as a child. i never asked him why he did what he would do. he would yell at me if i ever said anything. i was really scared of him and am still really afraid of him. i even have this sort of phobia of men. i don't want to speak to him at all. i try not to but sometimes he speaks to me. i just wish he could be dead. he's too close to me. it makes me very sad. i dont know how i'd ever record or whatever it means. i shake when he's near me; literally. i don't speak to him. i can't even do that. i get this increased hr. i shake, i can't speak, and i feel like i can't breathe. it even causes me chest pain a bit with my breathing. i think this is a phobia but im not sure.

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              • #22
                Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                you need to tell someone

                you need that support I think
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                  Originally posted by petals View Post
                  i dont know how i'd even do that. he kind of lives like it never happened. he doesn't know about any of my issues. throughout the years, i've never brought it up even as a child. i never asked him why he did what he would do. he would yell at me if i ever said anything. i was really scared of him and am still really afraid of him. i even have this sort of phobia of men. i don't want to speak to him at all. i try not to but sometimes he speaks to me. i just wish he could be dead. he's too close to me. it makes me very sad. i dont know how i'd ever record or whatever it means. i shake when he's near me; literally. i don't speak to him. i can't even do that. i get this increased hr. i shake, i can't speak, and i feel like i can't breathe. it even causes me chest pain a bit with my breathing. i think this is a phobia but im not sure.
                  You need a voice recording device. You hide it on your person, and beforehand test it out in private. Do this by putting the device on record and hide it where you can't see it, and talk into a mirror, or go have a conversation with a person which is better. Then when you end the conversation, go into somewhere private and stop the recorder. Then you take the file and upload it onto the PC, or play it back on the device.

                  Digital voice recorders usually make this feature easy.

                  In all honesty, I actually am BEGGING you sister, to just go to the police, write a record of all the incidents that occurred and let them deal with it rather than the above. The above option is if it fails and they act like they don't have the proof. Also, please contact the sisters on the thread if you're living in the UK.
                  I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                  Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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                  • #24
                    Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                    As salamu alaykum,


                    SOMEONE MUST SERIOUSLY HELP THIS SISTER

                    I typed that in capitals to empathise how serious this is. The mental torture this sister must be going through must be insane living with that guy after what he did. I know what he did after reading about it


                    Can some sister not take her in or a brother close to her can go sort this guy out or something. Seriously something needs to be done

                    Too many of us are staying quiet on this issue and not acting upon oppression. We are just leaving her to deal with this when we should physically help her
                    Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                    ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                    www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                    • #25
                      Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                      parents -all parents- need to use their brains and never leave their children alone with anyone, i
                      don't know what it is with some cultures, where its fine to free mix with non mahram cousins, family friends of the opposite gender
                      where everyone is a brother or an uncle, where there's plenty of chance for sickos and pervs to prey on young people.

                      May Allah help you ukht:(
                      The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
                      (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
                      In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

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                      • #26
                        Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                        Originally posted by firestar101 View Post
                        As salamu alaykum,


                        SOMEONE MUST SERIOUSLY HELP THIS SISTER

                        I typed that in capitals to empathise how serious this is. The mental torture this sister must be going through must be insane living with that guy after what he did. I know what he did after reading about it


                        Can some sister not take her in or a brother close to her can go sort this guy out or something. Seriously something needs to be done

                        Too many of us are staying quiet on this issue and not acting upon oppression. We are just leaving her to deal with this when we should physically help her
                        it really is like mental torture. he is not bothering me in the sense that he used to though. what really bothers me is just the fact that he is still so close to me. everything that bothers me seems associated with mentality. having all these thoughts running through my head; i keep wanting to harm myself and i dont understand why but i understand islam and the thoughts of hell scare me. i just feel like i cant hurt myself, i cant even wish for it, i cant seek therapy and having him so close to me; i feel like life is a prison. i just want to die. its the thoughts that are killing me. seeing him causes me a lot of pain. it brings back memories that i dont want.


                        thanks for all the replies. its hard. saying to seek help is something that seems easy but its not at all. i really wish i could. i really hope to one day.

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                        • #27
                          Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                          You're making me so upset and sad OP. if I were near you I would've beat him up and threw him out honestly! Ugh I hate that you're being tortured like this. I understand that you're worried about your mothers health and that's great but what about yours?? If he wasnt in the home then I wouldn't keep suggesting you tell your parents as I get your worries but FGS that scum is still in your home so something needs to be done.

                          How about you tell that garbage that if he doesn't leave your home you'd tell your parents what he did to you? Tell him to leave or if you ever see his sick face you'd report him.
                          "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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                          • #28
                            Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                            I wish I could do something about it. I don't know; I don't speak to him, I don't look at him, anything like that. He isn't here all the time but he's allowed here whenever he wants basically. It's strange but we both live like it never happened if that make sense (except it obviously affected me). If I went up to him and said that I would report him or tell what he did, he would just kind of stare. He doesn't really know anything. Throughout the years, we never spoke of it, nothing like that. He always made me scared as a young child but now, it's just he doesn't know about any of my issues.

                            I don't know if what I'm saying even makes sense. I don't even want to go near him. I don't speak to him and it hurts me to see him. Sometimes he does come near me and just insult me; things like that, but he doesn't do what he did before; that ended when I was in my mid to late teens. I am basically at a state where I don't know what to do about him, in other words hopeless, so I just pray he be taken from me.

                            For years, I have just tried to be patient but I feel like my health is deteriorating. It's not necessarily just him still being around; other things as well like me getting these flashbacks of everything and more; I cry a lot. I can't even sleep properly. I have bad thoughts running through my head all the time and it's killing me. I even have fears of people to the point I don't like to leave my house. I was just hoping that he could be gone; far far away from me, but dying would be best. I thought it would make things a little easier for me.

                            I wasn't aware that du'a can change qadr which is what I tried questioning and the above users mentioned it. That is good.

                            I feel a little better today than I did yesterday. Looking back at what I wrote originally, I can tell I was in a terrible state. I'm happy I'm feeling a little better today.

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                            • #29
                              Re: i need someone away from me but he won't go

                              For now, I'll just try to hope for a better day today.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by petals View Post
                                For now, I'll just try to hope for a better day today.
                                Thats it sister, keep having hope in Allah (SWT ) and trust Allah ( SWT )


                                Insha'Allah Allah will give you lots and lots of happiness and ease ur situation
                                7 Heavens and The Arsh & Kursi Of Allah - by Sheikh Ahmed Ali [HD] :up:

                                Subhan'Allah wa bi-hamdihi
                                Glorified is Allah with all praise due to Him:love:

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