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Have I commited shirk?

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  • Have I commited shirk?

    Brothers and sisters I am going insane! Okay so basically for a few months now I have been getting consistent was was from shaiyateen. I get evil thoughts when trying to do salah and when trying to make dua or even when thinking about dunya, death and Akhira... I get seriously evil thoughts... And what's worse is recurring images of Allah in my head astaghfirullah which have appeared from no where. I've developed an OCD of saying astaghfirullah and wallah hawala wallah quwatha ill ah blah hil wa allelul adheem...say it so much constantly . I have inner conflicts with these shaiyateen telling them to get lost and that those evil thoughts are nothing to do with my raab. Seriously getting to a point where I can't enjoy a gathering with family because of it. Now, here's some background about myself. I have always despised shirk and all it's forms...even the words goddess and idol... I've always believed in tawhid and would rather die then becoming a mushrik and have NEVER associated anyone to Allah or prayed to any one but him .. NEVER... I have never violated any of the rules of tawhid or crossed the major shirk list.. At all. Lately though since this was was has been taking place... I remembered that last yr there was a song called young and beautiful ... I loved it because it was aethetically pleasing BUT there was merely one line where the singer says 'father let me know if u can' referring to Allah in the Christian trinity sense of course. I knew this was shirk but I never sang the song and for the most part would forward this line... But occasionally didn't for the simple fact that I thought it couldn't do any harm since I know the trinity is bullshit and never believed it with mind, heart or mouth...also I thought that since the song is not about the is to do with life and aging...I dismissed the shirk ness and listened to it still but I stopped listening to it completely after a while from what I recall and I think that's because it dawned on me that it was wrong. This was some time ago. And also with regards to that line... I swear by Allah I had memorised the song pretty much bar that line as I intentionally would skip it or even dismiss it when listening to it.

    So, presently because of these was was.. I am now beginning to think that with all these whispers in my head plus me listening to the song and these evil thoughts and unintentional images which r coming from shaitaan of Allah... I think to myself have I now left the pale of Islam even tho i physically never worshipped anyone aside from Allah. ,my heart is literally pounding from that fear and from the fear of hellfire and I can't even sleep properly these past few nights. Not to mention... I was just on the phone to my sis and I was enquiring about my ill baby nephew who I had seen yesterday...she was saying he keeps getting Ill then better then ill... I told her that yesterday he seemed better (I meant happier and more calm since he's still very I'll) after seeing his one n only aunty (he does love me a lot so that was the joke behind it ) I joked with her n said ahh it's just my presence that made him feel better but astaghfirullah I didn't mean this In the sense that I was doing allahs job astaghfirullah!!! I didn't mean it in the sense that I was some divine being astaghfirullah to even the thought .... Rather I meant it in the regard that after seeing his fave aunt he was more cheered up and didn't seem to cry as much..astaghfirullah In my heart I would NEVER believe that I had the ability to cure him... I simply meant it in the sense that when a child is sad or ill n hurt sometimes when they see their mother or are loved n smothered by their mother it just makes them feel happy and better because one feels at peace to be with loved ones when they r this shirk to even think like this...have I left the folds of Islam n am I a mushrik? Some seconds after realising what I said seemed wrong i immediately redeemed my sentence to my sister n said what I mean is it's not me who had made him feel calm, ultimately it's Allah who puts us through misery only to bring us happiness and joy so don't be depressed by him being ill. This is Allahs doing.

    Guys have I commited I a heart is pounding with fear no lie.

    *when talking with my sister about my nephew I was partially serious and joking as well... I was like ahh it's just my presence making him feel better but astaghfirullah though I was kinda serious I didn't mean it in the sense that oh yeah I am some magic divine being who could only do this...just meant it in the fact that I'm my nephews fave a second mother to him if you will and because of that he had cheered up and felt more calm. I certainly believe that ultimately it is Allahs doing in making someone better or not but I love cheering my nephew and just meant that he needed his aunties love. He is only one and loves spending time with me.
    Last edited by Zahrai786; 20-04-14, 06:25 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Have I commited shirk?


    may Allah make it easy for you

    لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله


    • #3
      Re: Have I commited shirk?


      I can't read a wall of text, but if you are afraid you have committed shirk, all you have to do is make tawba and ask Allah for forgiveness of what you have committed knowingly and unknowingly. Then just avoid doing that thing again.

      I'd suggest contacting a scholar to learn and avoid doing that thing in the future.


      • #4
        Re: Have I commited shirk?

        No you did not commit Shirk, Allah SWT knows your intentions.

        The intervention of a doctor also makes people feel better, does not mean to say they are trying to replace Allah SWT.

        Just relax about everything.


        • #5
          Re: Have I commited shirk?

          A similar thing happened to me a couple years back when I really got into the Deen. You get these thoughts from Shaytaan
          I went to a scholar in my local mosque and he advised me to read Ayat 102 of Surah Al-Bakarah as often as you can

          If you look at its translation, it is all about how shayateen sometimes control our thoughts and try to unsettle the believers. Also Ayat-ul-Kursi and the last 2 surahs of the Quran, Falaq and Nas.

          Hope everything works out for you.
          there is
          good in the world