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Would you consider this to be something weird?

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  • Would you consider this to be something weird?

    Salam alaykum,

    Please don't leave any rude comments. I don't want to read something that would be hurtful to me. I just want to hear from at least someone though.

    I always cover my body. I wear hijab; I usually cover my body with abaya or maybe a skirt (and always dark colours because I hate any sort of attention with bright colours). This sounds appropriate but this is also how I dress inside my own home. I only live with my direct family; parents and siblings, yet I always cover my body. I have abaya that I like for outside, and some that I keep for inside. I don't ever show a part of my body at home except for my hands, face, and feet. I make sure that what I wear is not tight, not see through, not exposing in any sort of way. I want to be completely covered.

    I dislike showing my body. I can not do that; not even wear something normal in front of my own family. I will not even allow my own mother to see my hair or my arms, for example. I'm even shaking thinking of it. I used to do this since I was probably 13 or 14; but I was not wearing abaya back then. It started small; I used to wear some sort of scarf over my shoulders that would keep part of me covered. Now after years, I am always dressed in black inside my home. I don't even care about if it's hot. I will still cover because I find that I just need to do it.

    My mother used to ask why and I know she still wonders. I can tell she sees something strange in me; probably my father too although he never questions it. I don't truly understand why I even do this but I understand where it came from. I don't know why I can't show my body like normal people do inside the home; it seems easy to do, but I just can't. I don't know if I am explaining properly but I know why I do it but can't understand at the same time.

    Without anything rude; is this really something that a normal person would consider weird? My family does not seem to really tell me and I don't know why, even though I see their faces. They seem like they wonder about me, so I want to ask someone else. Please don't leave any comments that tell me to get therapy or something like that. I read many comments like that before and I can't do that at this moment but will want to one day. Is what I do something that is wrong? I am afraid that it will only get worse if it is a problem. Things that I do seem to always get bigger.

  • #2
    Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

    Nah I do something like that at home too.


    • #3
      Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

      Wa Alaykum Salaam,

      Nope, not weird, I do that as well
      إن للمتقين مفازا


      • #4
        Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?


        Modesty is an integral part of our Imaan and it heavily praised.

        However, just be careful that it doesn't become borderline obsession, and know that Insha'Allah, when you do marry your husband will want to see you in a way that is pleasing to him.

        The Shariah has set guidelines of what a females awrah is and in front whom. And yes it best to be modest, but don't take it to an extreme where by it starts effecting you negatively.

        Cover, but if by chance your mum sees your hair or arm, its absolutely no reason get upset!

        إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

        إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

        "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

        Khanqah Habibiyah


        • #5
          Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

          I never thought anyone else would be like this.
          And I think it does affect me negatively, but it's in relations to other things as well.


          • #6
            Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

            Aww, that's not weird at all.. its what makes you happy and comfortable that matters :).. your not doing anything wrong..


            • #7
              Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

              There are guidelines about what we can wear in front of females and mahrams too, so there is nothing wrong with being modest in front of them. What you are describing seems a bit more than that because you said you are shaking when thinking about your mum seeing your hair etc.


              • #8
                Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                petals, I know from your threads the situation you've had to overcome, and maybe that is a part of the reason why, but ultimately it's not hurting anybody. Your parents also don't seem to mind. Inshallah in time as you deal through personal issues, maybe this will be something you re-explore and change if you find it is an issue that doesn't fall outside Islamic boundaries by addressing. :)
                I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.


                • #9
                  Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                  It's not weird to me because I know loads of people who do that, and actually it's really encouraged by some but I don't agree with it... However, you have to realise it isn't a must and a woman isn't immodest if she does show her hair and the parts she's allowed to uncover in front of her family and female friends.

                  Alhamdulillah I cover outside so I like to feel "free" at home, if that makes sense. Each to their own..
                  اذاً لن يضيعنا الله


                  • #10
                    Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                    Not a bad thing at all.
                    Modesty is appreciated in Islam
                    there is
                    good in the world


                    • #11
                      Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                      Not really I think it's normal.


                      • #12
                        Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                        wa 'aleykumu salaam sis

                        Not at all. Hayaa is something good, if you're not comfortable with wearing tight clothing at home, then don't. That's not weird, like not at all.
                        Last edited by Mawwada; 21-04-14, 09:37 PM.
                        The one who advises his brother in secret has beautified him and the one who advises his brother openly has uglified him.instagram


                        • #13
                          Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                          Well, I was surprised by what you said. And also surprised by the amount of people that said they didn't think it was unusual.
                          I once heard someone say that it was a must for us to cover allllll the time even when we are at home and everything and that the ONLY time you can uncover is to take a shower.....
                          Anyway, she had a different logic.
                          But I get that there are people who are so modest that they always want to be covered like that. I think wasn't it Uthman RA who was so shy and modest that even the angels used to get shy around him? (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong)

                 say that there is a reason why you are like this. You haven't told us and I can only speculate. But if the reason is something other than just an extreme shyness I think maybe you should deal with the root issue, sister.
                          I mean you do realize that in sha Allah one day your husband will have the right to see you uncovered, right? And what about when you have babies in sha Allah - childbirth, delivery all of that in front of doctors and nurses you don't know? The lack of "privacy" in that situation is horrifying to think of. And so if you have some kind of deep, underlying issue that makes you behave this way I think it's better if you sort that out. Otherwise situations like that could be agony for you.
                          I wish you peace sister. OCDs can be very frustrating (not sure if that is what this is though).


                          • #14
                            Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                            Sister I think it's up to you what you do. If you are truly happy to cover yourself this way at home that's fine. Just don't let this make you any less confident. Allah already stated in the Quraan who can see you and who can't. So don't put pressure on yourself that Allah didn't place on you. Our religion isn't so hard alhamdululah.


                            • #15
                              Re: Would you consider this to be something weird?

                              Thanks for the replies. I guess it was probably not a proper question to ask because I left it kind of vague; not mentioning some sort of reason.
                              I appreciate you all for taking the time to reply. Thanks.
                              Last edited by petals; 29-05-14, 05:06 PM.