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Is this wrong for me to do???

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  • Is this wrong for me to do???

    Assalaam Alaikum,

    So my am currently 3 mo pregnant Allhumdillah! I made a decision a month ago to move back with my mother temporarily until me and my husband get our own place. We currently live with his mother and his four brothers because his mom is going through financial problems and can't afford to pay the bills alone. I can't stay here after the baby is born because of the environment of this household. The brothers are filthy, they smoke marijunana, make too much noise, etc. The boys are only ages 9,16,and 19. I told my husband about what I wanted to do after the baby is born but he just got mad. He wants the baby to be around the family which I agree but living with this family is a no no. I gave him my reasons but he just still doesn't agree. I can't raise a baby in a room! I don't think this family will change for a baby in the house. My husband pretty much said if I leave with the baby I leave him. I am not leaving my husband I just need to relocate for the sake of our baby until we get our place.

  • #2
    Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

    what about living with your inlaws or friends temporarily? or husbands siblings houses temporarily? tbh if the mum is going through financial problems, having the baby there is going to make things worse because you'll have to pay for it on top of everything else. if you live with inlaws/friends they could help you out.

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    • #3
      Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

      Assalaamu alaikum sister,

      I would recommend that you ask a imam. From what I know, which isn't much, it is not allowed for the wife to leave the home without the husband's consent. Maybe it would have been better for you to have an Imam speak to him about the issue, that way you might have gotten what you wanted (living out of that home) without disobeying him. I understand that the environment is not a good one and that you want the best for the baby but we also have to be careful how we approach situations. Inshallah may Allah make things easy for you and your family.
      [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial Black]“The Day they come forth nothing concerning them will be concealed from Allah. To whom belongs [all] sovereignty this Day? To Allah, the One, the Irresistible!” (Qur’an, 40: 16)[/FONT][/SIZE]

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      • #4
        Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

        Ask an imam or scholar

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        • #5
          Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

          Originally posted by Superwoman View Post
          what about living with your inlaws or friends temporarily? or husbands siblings houses temporarily? tbh if the mum is going through financial problems, having the baby there is going to make things worse because you'll have to pay for it on top of everything else. if you live with inlaws/friends they could help you out.
          I live with my in laws. All his brothers we all leave together, and am trying to leave for a better environment for my child. Going to a friend house i rather not plus I don't have much friends. It's best to be with family.

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          • #6
            Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

            Originally posted by Mohamed12 View Post
            Ask an imam or scholar
            Yes that's what I was actually going to do.

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            • #7
              Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

              Originally posted by AnnaMe View Post
              Assalaamu alaikum sister,

              I would recommend that you ask a imam. From what I know, which isn't much, it is not allowed for the wife to leave the home without the husband's consent. Maybe it would have been better for you to have an Imam speak to him about the issue, that way you might have gotten what you wanted (living out of that home) without disobeying him. I understand that the environment is not a good one and that you want the best for the baby but we also have to be careful how we approach situations. Inshallah may Allah make things easy for you and your family.
              I am going to speak to an imam soon inshallah. It's not easy getting my husband to speak to an imam. We had other situations where I wanted him to speak to an imam. My husband's too busy and he doesn't like for our business to be told. And am trying to deal with this the right way. It's frustrating. Thank you

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              • #8
                Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

                You're welcome sister. Inshallah your family will be in our dua'
                [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial Black]“The Day they come forth nothing concerning them will be concealed from Allah. To whom belongs [all] sovereignty this Day? To Allah, the One, the Irresistible!” (Qur’an, 40: 16)[/FONT][/SIZE]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

                  Originally posted by akia20 View Post
                  Assalaam Alaikum,

                  So my am currently 3 mo pregnant Allhumdillah! I made a decision a month ago to move back with my mother temporarily until me and my husband get our own place. We currently live with his mother and his four brothers because his mom is going through financial problems and can't afford to pay the bills alone. I can't stay here after the baby is born because of the environment of this household. The brothers are filthy, they smoke marijunana, make too much noise, etc. The boys are only ages 9,16,and 19. I told my husband about what I wanted to do after the baby is born but he just got mad. He wants the baby to be around the family which I agree but living with this family is a no no. I gave him my reasons but he just still doesn't agree. I can't raise a baby in a room! I don't think this family will change for a baby in the house. My husband pretty much said if I leave with the baby I leave him. I am not leaving my husband I just need to relocate for the sake of our baby until we get our place.
                  How are you coping with a 16/19 year old non-maharm in the same house?

                  Are you in hijab all the time except when in your room?

                  You are such a strong lady. I doubt many coud cope with such an environment.

                  Your hubby needs to be more understanding to be honest. Agree with contacting an imam/scholar

                  You can even do it on line. Let them know your situation and ask them to judge Islamically your decision
                  O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                  • #10
                    Re: Is this wrong for me to do???

                    Originally posted by AnnaMe View Post
                    Assalaamu alaikum sister,

                    I would recommend that you ask a imam. From what I know, which isn't much, it is not allowed for the wife to leave the home without the husband's consent. Maybe it would have been better for you to have an Imam speak to him about the issue, that way you might have gotten what you wanted (living out of that home) without disobeying him. I understand that the environment is not a good one and that you want the best for the baby but we also have to be careful how we approach situations. Inshallah may Allah make things easy for you and your family.
                    It is also the wife's right to have her own accomodation. In fact, she has every right to politely request her place away from non-mahrams. Can you imagine beng in hijab all the time, even in the one place where you should be allowed to take it off?
                    www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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