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how can i resolve the problems between my mother and step-sister?

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  • how can i resolve the problems between my mother and step-sister?

    Assalamu Alaykum W.W

    my mother and step-sis are always arguing and fighting in front of my younger siblings and my s-sis says things which are hurtful and should not be said. my s-sis feels that my mother is treating her differently as she is not her biological daughter but my mother also feels that my s-sis is being ungrateful and does not help her out as she does not do anything in the house ( cleaning...cooking...or even making a cup of tea for her father).
    :(

    i dont know what to do and i am stuck in the middle of their fights.... in desperate need of some advice:(:(
    Last edited by Nay; 03-04-14, 05:16 PM.

  • #2
    Re: how can i resolve the problems between my mother and step-sister?

    Originally posted by Nay View Post
    Assalamu Alaykum W.W

    my mother and step-sis are always arguing and fighting in front of my younger siblings and my s-sis says things which are hurtful and should not be said. my s-sis feels that my mother is treating her differently as she is not her biological daughter but my mother also feels that my s-sis is being ungrateful and does not help her out as she does not do anything in the house ( cleaning...cooking...or even making a cup of tea for her father).
    :(

    i dont know what to do and i am stuck in the middle of their fights.... in desperate need of some advice:(:(
    Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah wabarakatuhu sister :)

    I'm sorry to hear that you're faced with such difficulty sister. I don't know how my advice could help you with anything, but maybe I can share what I know, and I hope you'll find some benefit in it. :)

    Firstly we need to remember, that our life here on earth are but a series of tests and trials. Allah presents us with a test, and after we finished that, we'll be facing another test, and another.....until we leave this world. :)

    Allah said:

    "Indeed in that are signs, and indeed, We are ever putting (mankind) to the test." (Quran 23:30)

    "And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others - will you have patience? And your Lord is ever Seer" (Quran 25:20)

    "And We will surely test you until We make evident those who strive among you [for the cause of Allah] and the patient,
    and till We test your record."
    (Quran 47:31)


    So by remembering these words from Allah, will inshaAllah put our mind into proper perspective. :)


    Now for some suggestions...

    - have you tried asking your father for help? Perhaps he can help in improving the relationship between your mom and your step-sis. Or if the relationship is just too bad, maybe, at the very least he can find a relative that can take care of your step-sis?

    - perhaps what your step-sis need is a job? Then she can feel like she's helping the family. Or at the very least, she can be independent from the family, and can live on her own? Maybe you can ask your father to help her to find a job.


    Bad relationships are best to be remedied. But if that's just too hard, then perhaps separation is best, in order to avoid greater fitnah. I'm not advocating severing of family ties, but to simply live in different places from each other, until a solution is found. :)

    Those are the only suggestions I could think of right now. Hope you can get some benefit from it. :)

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    • #3
      Re: how can i resolve the problems between my mother and step-sister?

      asalaamu alaykum. 1st, welcome to how marriage life is like :) j/k. 2nd, tell your step sister that she should be grateful and explain to her that your mom has done alot for her, but show examples of how she treats u all equally. Separately tell your mom to buy her a special gift in secret, pretending you weren't involved. If she is a teen, it's natural she will feel like this because she wasn't born in your family, your family has to emphasise that although this is true, she has been accepted as part of the family since childhood and that's the proof that you all care for her.
      visit this free Muslim marriage agency thats only for practising Muslims! >> www.puremuslimmatch.com

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