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Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

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  • Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

    Salam Alaykum.

    I feel like I go through a very tough time and when I see other people looking so happy, I feel sad and wish I could be like that; I wish I could smile and be happy like them and just seem to appreciate life. Then people say things like "you never know what someone is really going through"; I even say this. If people are going through tough times, do most tend to hide their real emotions in relations to that hardship? Not just Muslims; any person. In my case; I don't ever really look happy or anything. I am never really around other people; kind of feel isolated. In public or around anyone, my face is just sort of blank; I don't really smile. I feel depressed and stuff but I can't just act happy and pretend to be. I find it hard to think that people could be going through such a hard time but act happy on the outside. I could never do that. When I see people happily enjoying life, I don't think they could ever be going through something hard; they seem so happy. I know I have no idea what they go through, but I could never just pretend to smile and be happy so if they are really going through hard times, I just find it hard to think that they could seem happy. It may be that they are trying to overcome something and look for the positive side, or it may be that I am just a weak, pathetic person. I don't know.

    Sorry if this question seems confusing. I mean it in no way of disrespect. Thanks for any replies.
    Last edited by petals; 25-03-14, 10:36 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

    walikum salam,
    yeah if im ever in difficulty/sad i never show it, i always keep it to myself.
    They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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    • #3
      Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

      i keep myself to myself lol
      The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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      • #4
        Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

        most people hide it cuz they don't want people to kno so they just put on a happy face, its like wearing a mask for the public eye.

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        • #5
          Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

          Sorry. I did not mean the things that go on, but more specifically their emotions towards them.

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          • #6
            Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

            I don't understand knowing this is of any consolation to you.

            Everyone goes through hard times, some people have been blessed with patience to withstand life's trials and tribulations better.

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            • #7
              Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

              Originally posted by petals View Post
              Salam Alaykum.

              It may be that they are trying to overcome something and look for the positive side, or it may be that I am just a weak, pathetic person. I don't know.
              Sister I read on your other threads what happened to you, and I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be, so don't ever call yourself a weak, pathetic person

              Various terrible things happen to lots of people and deep down they can be hurt inside, but they put on a brave face for public show. Perhaps they experienced something terrible a long time ago, but time healed their pain and now they're back to being happy again.

              Remember Sister nothing in this world is permanent and I hope your pain eases soon. You may not believe me now, but one day :insha: you will be happy. With time, prayer, and help, people do overcome the most traumatic of experiences.

              Do you have any close Sister friends you can talk to or spend time with?

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              • #8
                Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

                I am the type that suffers in silence. Only the people that really know me will see that I am not happy. I put on my happy face and act all bubbly with people around me to protect myself. That's how I survive in this world. We all have different ways of dealing with our feelings.

                InshaAllah happy times will come back to you sister. Deal with your feelings, the sooner the better. Try to enjoy the little things in life. The flowers growing outside, birds singing, or the sun coming up. Things like that can make me really happy.

                :love:
                My heart will go on

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                • #9
                  Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

                  If someone doesn't talk about their feelings or problems, it doesn't mean they don't have any. Some people hide it better than others and some eventually reach breaking point and it all comes out. It's a common defence mechanism to joke around a lot when you are trying to mask the problems, hence people assume that person is very jolly and happy but it's not always true. Few people can spot the difference between someone who is genuinely happy and someone who is acting.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Do most people tend to hide things that they go through?

                    Originally posted by petals View Post
                    Salam Alaykum.

                    I feel like I go through a very tough time and when I see other people looking so happy, I feel sad and wish I could be like that; I wish I could smile and be happy like them and just seem to appreciate life. Then people say things like "you never know what someone is really going through"; I even say this. If people are going through tough times, do most tend to hide their real emotions in relations to that hardship? Not just Muslims; any person. In my case; I don't ever really look happy or anything. I am never really around other people; kind of feel isolated. In public or around anyone, my face is just sort of blank; I don't really smile. I feel depressed and stuff but I can't just act happy and pretend to be. I find it hard to think that people could be going through such a hard time but act happy on the outside. I could never do that. When I see people happily enjoying life, I don't think they could ever be going through something hard; they seem so happy. I know I have no idea what they go through, but I could never just pretend to smile and be happy so if they are really going through hard times, I just find it hard to think that they could seem happy. It may be that they are trying to overcome something and look for the positive side, or it may be that I am just a weak, pathetic person. I don't know.

                    Sorry if this question seems confusing. I mean it in no way of disrespect. Thanks for any replies.
                    wa aleikum asalam sis

                    It's not that people are pretending to be happy. In that moment they are actual happy.

                    There are some things in life that overwhelm you completely so much that you cannot disconnect from it.
                    There are other things that are part of life, albeit bad, but you have to learn to regulate your emotions and deal with it into your life, that means, being able to shelve it when you need to.
                    There are other things that happen to us in life, that are really the small things, that some people make a huge big deal out of, either because they haven't grown up yet or that they are too sensitive a person and need a shake.

                    In sha Allah, that's how I try to look at things anyway.

                    When something happens in life, it is good (for me anyway) to decide real quick, if I can do anything about it or not. If I can then great, get on with it. If I can't then alhamdulillah as well because I have to accept it and just pray.

                    If you cannot catagorise life events properly then you will go through more grief than necessary and I decided a long time a go that life was hard enough not to waste energy.

                    Sometimes In sha Allah, I remember this advice when I am in the middle of a situation and sometimes I don't.

                    It's all choices sis and it's not good to be subject to our emotions.

                    (I'm not telling you this because I am perfect in dealing with my life, I'm not. I only tell it because I was told it by someone and it's good to remember)

                    Maybe you are a sister who doesn't have extreme ups or downs, that can be a good thing sis! Maybe you are a deep thinker and a more serious character, that can be a good thing too. Maybe you are a little depressed and could see a doctor about why. Maybe you are really, really shy and would like to be a little more outgoing in your personality? If so then practice smiling at other sisters, babies and old ladies, like you are giving them a gift. Sometimes givinga gift to another person, when we least are able to give it, can help us in return.

                    In sha Allah, I will make du'a for you sis.

                    Barak Allahu feeki
                    Last edited by ssh; 26-03-14, 04:19 PM.


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