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New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

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  • #16
    Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    Yeah, that's just nonsensical. People say they'll lose their honor or something if the girl side proposes...
    it's absolutely disgraceful for girl's side to propose and I don't see that changing anytime soon, well esp not in my family && we are not even cultural, some things tend to stick though.

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    • #17
      Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

      Yes i ll.Even though i am a freshie unlike my husband...but its like being a freshie each time ėn different country or places...I dont like people who are ashamed of their lang or culture (that doesnt go against islam)...Neither do i feel shame in my traditional dress or the way i speak urdu.Those that mock about freshiez for their way of speaking or dressing in west are still considered different than the natives no matter what.They are still struggling in plastic life of west.
      I dont feel anything attractive in west...but in middle east or asia yes.InshAllah we ll go back again...and settle in our own lands.Culture that doesnt go against islam should not be left.
      ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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      • #18
        Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

        I can't think of many things from my culture that aren't already haraam, not off the top of my head anyway.

        Things like having a "white wedding in a chapel", getting something "old new borrowed and blue" for good luck, avoiding walking under ladders or passing black cats, ect. These are already haraam anyway.

        I guess we have some family traditions which I think are pretty stupid, but I've always refused to do them even when I was nonmuslim, so I don't think they count either. Ex: Putting your elbows off the table, eating with the correct utensil, ect. I just began sitting on the floor and eating with my hands. You don't need a knife and fork to eat pizza and burritos lol.

        Most american traditions are tied to christianity so by default are haraam to practice. Some newer non-christian traditions are haraam anyway like kissing a stranger on new year's eve, being weird if you don't have a bf/gf by the sixth grade, weekend/tailgate/sports parties, hazing into clubs and beer pong, celebrating (even nominally) halloween/groundhogs day/valentines day/st patricks day. These are all social things that are "expected" of you if you want to fit in.

        Another tradition that I reject is living your "own life" in a nuclear family and not taking care of your parents anymore. The reason my mom doesn't want me to move out is because she "knows" (thinks) that once I go I'm gone forever and she will never receive help or friendship from me again, because this is the tradition in the culture we're from specifically (yes the usa has many cultures depending on the area you're in). I'm having a hard time convincing her that I don't believe in nuclear family, that i'm an extended-family person and I'd never abandon her or cut off contact, but she doesn't believe me because her other kids followed this tradition so she thinks I will as well, and so is fighting me tooth and nail. If I tell her she is being annoying about something, she always says things like "well you'll abandon me one day and won't have to worry about it".

        It's really hard to break tradition and even harder to convince your family that you really do mean it and you really won't follow those traditions. They're just like "yeah yeah you're just saying that" or "don't you dare even think about it you traitor". My cousin's dad beat him up because he said football was stupid lol. They treat it like a religion.

        * I didn't even include the racist traditions but they are just too ignorant to mention. And american racism isn't similar asian racism. It's not about tribes, it's purely skin color. I have cousins of varying race, but one white cousin has a very young daughter. When she was born he got into an arguement with me about arabs. I said I don't care what color my husband is as long as he's a good person. He told me that humans are like dogs and should keep our breeds pure, and that mixed mutts should be exterminated/arrested. And if he ever caught his daughter with an "impure" colored man, he'd have to kill them both. That is why I think americans who point out and mock asian honor killings are being super hypocritical. There are tons of racist americans who do the same thing.
        Last edited by |Sister|; 17-03-14, 05:39 AM.

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        • #19
          Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

          As long as it doesn't go against Islam or make the halal difficult and the haram easy, then it's all good. Culture and tradition is what you make of it.....everyone has culture that they follow one way or another.

          People shouldn't be so rigid about culture and tradition that they place it above Islam
          Last edited by Umm_Hanzalah; 17-03-14, 08:14 AM.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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          • #20
            Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

            Originally posted by snow_flakes View Post
            Yes i ll.Even though i am a freshie unlike my husband...but its like being a freshie each time ėn different country or places...I dont like people who are ashamed of their lang or culture (that doesnt go against islam)...Neither do i feel shame in my traditional dress or the way i speak urdu.Those that mock about freshiez for their way of speaking or dressing in west are still considered different than the natives no matter what.They are still struggling in plastic life of west.
            I dont feel anything attractive in west...but in middle east or asia yes.InshAllah we ll go back again...and settle in our own lands.Culture that doesnt go against islam should not be left.
            Sister... i didn't say all culture.

            I meant culture that makes life hard on you or a specfic family tradition that makes life hard.

            Example, i was speaking to a friend of mine ages ago and she mentioned that her parents expect her to marry from the same area as her family. I am not saying this is a wrong or right view. But if she does choose to marry someone else, it will make situations that are not meant to be hard like marrying someone, into a difficult situation where parents are upset and etc... i

            But i do appreciate your view, and your not a freshie just because you choose to dress or eat a certain thing! You keep doing what you want. I don't like the word freshie.
            Bye...

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            • #21
              Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

              nah fam
              They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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              • #22
                Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                I'm from a south Asian background, so I totally see the crap that goes on. Truthfully, I think educating and making our children much, much more mature from a younger age is the way to go about things. My parents were like kids having kids. My mum was 17 when she married, so had zilch life experience to that point I guess of the real world knocks. My father, he KNEW what responsibility should be, cause he was driving trucks at the age of 11 for my grandfathers brick factory in Azad Kashmir to all over Pakistan. When he got here, he started to work, but I noticed he had a very mean, greedy streak due to his culture and he didn't offer my mother any money or look after her properly like Islam teaches him to. Disgustingly patriarchal from a cultural PoV.

                So, I suppose the goals making your children stalwart with deen and not babying them. As soon as my kid turns 12 i'm going to tell him to start earning money to pay for the things he wants and especially to start saving for his marriage. I'm going to basically have him save away his own tax free ISA the governments give them.

                Inshallah, i'll be doing a lot of things differently, but at the same time, I understand people will never shed their culture entirely. So, weddings with a lot of people that cost a bit are still going to be around. I'm just going to make sure my children have a proper grasp on what it means to marry in a budget of what you can afford. Inshallah by the time they're 18, maybe 16 even they'll have the money and maturity to marry if they choose to do so, and they'll balance all the responsibilities.

                I'd like to think, that as one generation takes the hard knocks, the other ones get taught how to avoid them and prosper Inshallah. It's why I don't like the 'leave them' attitude some take towards our less practicing brothers and sisters as if they're a helpless cause. Just like the widows, if we don't as men or women take those who Inshallah do wish to change and slowly do it, you're going to see a continuing divide on how practicing some are and most aren't because they're not taught much better.
                I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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                • #23
                  Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                  apart from the rubbish linked to female virginity and some superstitions, i can follow the rest. Especially for the clothing. I am like even getting fashionly patriot against my own kin from ME and their clothing.
                  I want my haik and sarouels back in track!!!
                  My Blog http://historyeyesopened.tumblr.com/ Watch out sister Nousername
                  Ummah forum mentality depiction by BBC (warning) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

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                  • #24
                    Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                    I never had anything imposed on me that was haraam or even makrooh so so i guess i will be carrying on my cultural traditions

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                    • #25
                      Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                      Originally posted by Maghrebia00 View Post
                      Sister... i didn't say all culture.

                      I meant culture that makes life hard on you or a specfic family tradition that makes life hard.

                      Example, i was speaking to a friend of mine ages ago and she mentioned that her parents expect her to marry from the same area as her family. I am not saying this is a wrong or right view. But if she does choose to marry someone else, it will make situations that are not meant to be hard like marrying someone, into a difficult situation where parents are upset and etc... i

                      But i do appreciate your view, and your not a freshie just because you choose to dress or eat a certain thing! You keep doing what you want. I don't like the word freshie.
                      Yes sister i too dobt agree with that part..regarding marriage...but trust me we are raised like this that we rarely fit into another society...and are obliged to marry from our own areas coz we think alike,dress,eat and decide alike.Also the love for our own people is instilled so much.Though There are many that marry outside.Ofcourse everyone has the choice to choose whomever they wanna marry.I adressed this freshie issue becoz many here mock them.I always tell people that those who have lived in pakistan,afghanistan ,bangladesh and india...can live anywhere in the world...becoz its tough life over there.Besides its not always the looks or style...some are trained this way..like no matter how far we get educated..our way of speaking urdu cannot change lol.. ;).Then these pathN and sikh jokes...another cultural trend among other ethnics.

                      Dont worry you ll get the choice of your man one day soon iA.
                      e
                      ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                        Originally posted by snow_flakes View Post
                        Yes sister i too dobt agree with that part..regarding marriage...but trust me we are raised like this that we rarely fit into another society...and are obliged to marry from our own areas coz we think alike,dress,eat and decide alike.Also the love for our own people is instilled so much.Though There are many that marry outside.Ofcourse everyone has the choice to choose whomever they wanna marry.I adressed this freshie issue becoz many here mock them.I always tell people that those who have lived in pakistan,afghanistan ,bangladesh and india...can live anywhere in the world...becoz its tough life over there.Besides its not always the looks or style...some are trained this way..like no matter how far we get educated..our way of speaking urdu cannot change lol.. ;).Then these pathN and sikh jokes...another cultural trend among other ethnics.

                        Dont worry you ll get the choice of your man one day soon iA.
                        e
                        Lol. Yh i guess it could be really hurtful when one mocks you, like their way of life is right or they are more superior. It is good that you do what you want! You continuibg being you.

                        Loool no its not about me. Alhamduillah my family are cool with the idea of marrying any muslim. I think the main culture aspect that affects me is the women proposing being viewed as wrong. Not that i plan to do so anytine soon lol. But it would be so beneficial if it wasn't viewed so negative.

                        But like f_r said lol i am probably too much of a coward to change the views that society has imposed on me. And i will follow this view onto my children because i wouldn't want then to thought negatively.

                        It sucks :(
                        Bye...

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                          Originally posted by Maghrebia00 View Post
                          :salams

                          From posts, i have realized some of the new generations/youngsters being troubled by culture/tradition practices, when wanting to do something contrary to culture expectations. Especially since some culture/traditions is practiced by parents and hence they feel bad to go against their wishes.

                          Question to those

                          When you become parents will you follow the culture, that once made your life harder, with your own children?

                          P.s i am not talking about all cultures/traditions, just those that unnecessary makes supposedly easy decisions, hard.
                          P.s.s i am not talking about culture that goes against Islam

                          The reason i ask this question is because such cultures have been passed on for so long, so will you follow that cycle or will you not?

                          Give examples if you wish.
                          Originally posted by F_R View Post
                          :wswrwb:

                          Am I new generation?

                          If you hate something so much and it's imposed on you, the moment you get a chance you'd run far from it. Why make things harder for your own children? Different approach for different ppl based on experience etc etc.

                          But if they don't wish to break the bad and they don't challenge it now then I bet you it's gonna stay the same as it has.
                          why wait for children? why not break it now? if something is wrong and injustice (of course according to Islam, not by any other standard) why not stand up against it?
                          Last edited by Musaaafir; 17-03-14, 01:22 PM. Reason: Clarification
                          “Verily, I constantly renew my Islam until this very day, as up to now, I do not consider myself to have ever been a good Muslim.” Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Narrated by Ibn-al Qayyim in ‘Madarij as-Salikin” 1/218)

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                          • #28
                            Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                            Originally posted by Maghrebia00 View Post
                            Lol. Yh i guess it could be really hurtful when one mocks you, like right or they are more superior. It is good that you do what you want! You continuibg being you.

                            Loool no its not about me. Alhamduillah my family are cool with the idea of marrying any muslim. I think the main culture aspect that affects me is the women proposing being viewed as wrong. Not that i plan to do so anytine soon lol. But it would be so beneficial if it wasn't viewed so negative.

                            But like f_r said lol i am probably too much of a coward to change the views that society has imposed on me. And i will follow this view onto my children because i wouldn't want then to thought negatively.

                            It sucks :(
                            Why wait..if you want you can.There are many things in our culture which i too have rejected...like awaz...Its said if your cozine from faternal side do awaz for you...you cannot marry other person other than him or remain virgin throughout life.The situation gets interesting when you get awaz claim from 2 different cozines lololol.See..certain things need to be changed.Anyhow...mostly dont follow that anymore.
                            You too can make a change if you want.But compatibility issues arises alot...you ve to keep tgat in mind as well.
                            ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                              the only cultural i'll follow is the fun stuff, like the food and special clothing on eid etc, maybe learn the language properly, anything I find stupid I ignore

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                              • #30
                                Re: New Generation, Will you follow Culture/traditions?

                                Will probably leave everything cultural except the food and mayyyyybe the lingo...haven't decided about the last one yet..
                                :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

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