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  • How can I convince my friend to go out more...

    6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

  • #2
    Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

    I don't know I think some people just like staying at home and not mixing with people, even if it's people of same gender. It depends on their personality. When you go shopping, ask her to go with you or have them over as a family for dinner one day with a group of close/mutual friends. This is one of the easiest and least intimidating ways of socializing and she doesn't have to worry about her husband and what he will think.

    If she always declines those then it just might be that she likes being that way. I understand socialization is important for kids, and if they're not gettin it home then they will at school eventually. I wouldn't recommend directly telling her that not going out will make her weird and her kids weird. Some people wouldn't take that nicely or will be offended.

    As for being confused and forgetting stuff, I can tell you that even the most sociable people experience that. I am extremely outgoing and am always out and about but send me to the grocery store and it's like an unknown world. I enter confused, leave confused, and buy things I don't need and don't buy things I do need. Needless to say, my husband doesn't send me to do the groceries..... The point is, I'm not sure what but I'm pretty sure forgetting stuff at stores is common
    Last edited by GuCcI; 12-03-14, 06:58 PM.
    Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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    • #3
      Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

      Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
      I don't know I think some people just like staying at home and not mixing with people, even if it's people of same gender. It depends on their personality. When you go shopping, ask her to go with you or have them over as a family for dinner one day with a group of close/mutual friends. This is one of the easiest and least intimidating ways of socializing and she doesn't have to worry about her husband and what he will think.

      If she always declines those then it just might be that she likes being that way. I understand socialization is important for kids, and if they're not gettin it home then they will at school eventually. I wouldn't recommend directly telling her that not going out will make her weird an her kids weird. Some people wouldn't take that nicely or will be offended.
      Jazakallah khair lolol I was not thinking of telling her that she's getting weird lol but thanks for the reminder! Ye, that's an idea..I just need to find a third person xD
      6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

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      • #4
        Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

        Or do a girls gathering at your place and invite other sisters and their kids. Some of your friends. That way she can meet people in a comfortable setting.
        Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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        • #5
          Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

          is it possible that she can't go out for other reasons but wont tell you? i'm thinking either her hubby is overprotective and wont let her out but she's afraid of the repercussions if she admits to it or else she could be becoming agoraphobic herself and is using the deen as an excuse? So that could be why she's really anxious out of the house and gets lost and confused.

          I hardly leave the house cos' of illness. About a week ago i went into town and it was the first time i stepped out of the house in three months- but i wasn't confused or lost at all.
          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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          • #6
            Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

            Originally posted by neelu View Post
            is it possible that she can't go out for other reasons but wont tell you? i'm thinking either her hubby is overprotective and wont let her out but she's afraid of the repercussions if she admits to it or else she could be becoming agoraphobic herself and is using the deen as an excuse? So that could be why she's really anxious out of the house and gets lost and confused.

            I hardly leave the house cos' of illness. About a week ago i went into town and it was the first time i stepped out of the house in three months- but i wasn't confused or lost at all.
            6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

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            • #7
              Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

              Get a chocolate bar, tie it on the end of a piece of string and watch her follow it. She'll be outdoors in no time :rotfl:

              لا تفكر كثيرا
              بل استغفر كثيرا

              -------------------------------------------------------
              The children need your prayers more than anyone else
              -------------------------------------------------------
              www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

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              • #8
                Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                Originally posted by F_R View Post
                Get a chocolate bar, tie it on the end of a piece of string and watch her follow it. She'll be outdoors in no time :rotfl:
                not every1 is a cat

                HUMAN INTERaction FR!!

                kali - i would say discuss it with ur friend. does she have issues

                i make lists when i go shopping cos i forget

                also my sister, she managed one of the biggest companies in Europe so she aint stupid but since she had her baby she has got baby brain as she acts like a bimbo LOOOOOOOL

                maybe ur friend has got baby brain

                brains fried cos kids n husband r demanding
                My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

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                • #9
                  Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                  Sometimes I get very used to staying home and find it difficult to actually go outside away from my bubble it's so comfortable avoiding the real world
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                  • #10
                    Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                    Originally posted by F_R View Post
                    Get a chocolate bar, tie it on the end of a piece of string and watch her follow it. She'll be outdoors in no time :rotfl:
                    Originally posted by Fairy View Post
                    not every1 is a cat

                    :rotfl:
                    O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                    • #11
                      Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                      'confuced'. 'Confuced' 'Confuced'

                      :rotfl:

                      Aah sister, bless ya, you made me chuckle by that spelling mistake.

                      Inshallah you're friends issue resolve. I truly do fear for people who take absolute literal interpretations of some schools of thoughts to the extent it's mentally causing an effect upon this sister. That shouldn't be the case one iota. May Allah grant her swift recovery away from such fear and allow her to feel more comfortable that she's not doing anything wrong in the eyes of Islam by going outside in the prescribed boundaries. Ameen.
                      I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                      Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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                      • #12
                        Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                        She's sort of abnormal anyway, she doesn't like chocolate :' (oterwise it would've been a piece of chocolate to get her out of the house because theres this awesome chocolaterie a couple of cities away.

                        Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
                        'confuced'. 'Confuced' 'Confuced'

                        :rotfl:

                        Aah sister, bless ya, you made me chuckle by that spelling mistake.

                        Inshallah you're friends issue resolve. I truly do fear for people who take absolute literal interpretations of some schools of thoughts to the extent it's mentally causing an effect upon this sister. That shouldn't be the case one iota. May Allah grant her swift recovery away from such fear and allow her to feel more comfortable that she's not doing anything wrong in the eyes of Islam by going outside in the prescribed boundaries. Ameen.
                        It's that one word I never seem to be able to get right t_t

                        inshallah..because I can how this is going to explode on everyones face if it gets worse.

                        Yea, I think I should have a (wo)man to (wo)man talk - moment with her. Jazakallah khair peeps!
                        6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

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                        • #13
                          Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                          Originally posted by Kalikatu View Post
                          She's sort of abnormal anyway, she doesn't like chocolate :' (oterwise it would've been a piece of chocolate to get her out of the house because theres this awesome chocolaterie a couple of cities away.



                          It's that one word I never seem to be able to get right t_t

                          inshallah..because I can how this is going to explode on everyones face if it gets worse.

                          Yea, I think I should have a (wo)man to (wo)man talk - moment with her. Jazakallah khair peeps!
                          Is this a new way of keeping the word womans female and male components away? I thought it was established they're mahram @)
                          I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                          Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                            :wswrwb:

                            THAT'S SO ME :o

                            what makes you say that shes not enjoying being indoors, sis? some of us prefer it like that :)

                            also, you said she has two kids? maybe them toddlers are keeping her too busy to leave house and go out?

                            shes an immigrant and lives in non muslim area? That too could be a factor for her to prefer to stay at home.

                            sigpic

                            Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta Khalaqtani wa ana'abduka, wa ana 'ala 'ahdika wa Wa'dika mastata'tu A'uidhubika min sharri ma sana'tu.' abu'u Laka bi ni 'matika wa'ala abu'u bidhanbi; faghfirli fa'innahu la yaghfiru-dh-dhunuba illa anta.
                            O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I have committed. I acknowledge Your favour upon me and I acknowledgemy sin, so forgive me, for verilynone can forgive sin except You.



                            We are accountable for every letter we post here, so think before posting and maintain modesty.

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                            • #15
                              Re: How can I convince my friend to go out more...

                              if you get the chance to take her out somewhere again, then I suggest that you take her to a quiet park or somewhere peaceful like that, to just sit on a bench and talk or feed ducks.

                              If she seems confused and afraid of being outdoors then maybe she gets disoriented and can easily get lost or find it hard to make her way home and also navigating her way around an urban environment like a shop, having to remember what to buy, being among so many people can be awkward and frightening for someone not used to it. Taking her somewhere quiet and peaceful where she can sit and not have to worry about such things can help make the transition to being outside a little easier. don't leave her side when you go with her.
                              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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