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  • problems with parents and life

    Salam everyone

    I really need help because I have no one else to speak with. I posted here previously about repentance and everything has been going great so far. In the past month, I ended up losing most if not all my friends. I expected that anyways because of the difference in lifestyles now but the loneliness is killing me. This doesn't mean im going to go back to my old life but I think its normal to feel seriously depressed when you don't have anyone to talk to for several days at a time.

    My second biggest problem is my parents, especially my mother. Yesterday I was going out to buy her a gift for her birthday and all of a sudden she just went really angry and began accusing me of going to do wrong things outside. My mum is always quick to remind me what I was like and how my lifestyle was every time I do something she doesn't like, even if I breathe the wrong way and im not over exaggerating. She said a lot of really hurtful things, SPIT on me, and accused me of cursing at her. Even though she did all of this, I told her that all I wanted was to buy her a gift and make this day special and even bought the quran and swore on it that I didn't curse or say anything wrong because she claimed I did so I did this incase she heard something wrong. I swore on the quran, she got over it, and then all of a sudden she claimed I was trying to hit her.

    I have been trying so hard for the past three months, SO HARD to fix things with my mum, I take her out all the time, pray for her, do everything that I possibly can just to make her happy but nothing is working. WHO spits on their children? I am very hurt and atleast I used to have someone to speak or cry to but all I did was go sit in my room and have a panic attack. a couple of hours ago she called my dad and told him to book her a ticket back home.

    Please don't give me the whole islam treat your parents with respect. It gets tiring when you hear hurtful things and receive this treatment almost all the time. There are good moments ofcourse, but not when im being cursed at or spit on.

    I really don't know what to do anymore, im severely depressed with everything in my life and ive wished to die several times. Ive tried so hard to be a great person religious wise but all I got was this.

  • #2
    Re: problems with parents and life

    Wassalam sister,

    There seems to be something really wrong with your mother. She may not be in a normal state of mind. Her behaviour is very unusual, so I dont know really what could it be. What she does is totally strange and abnormal. Maybe someone can advise you more on what could be affecting her.
    “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


    Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: problems with parents and life

      Thanks for your reply

      I have no idea what's wrong but all I know is that as a human being, I cant take it anymore. Allah knows everyone's intentions and I can assure you that I have done everything I can to fix this and become a better person. Noone can advise me, my dad will probably just support what she's saying to avoid problems and then give me drama to make her happy. She does have her good moments but things like these ruin EVERYTHING. I don't understand who would spit on their own daughter.

      I have decided not to speak with her anymore, I know parents are important in Islam but I really don't have any other option. Does anyone have an Islamic or another opinion about this?

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      • #4
        Re: problems with parents and life

        Looks like she is possessed or something like that. The spitting is also extremely strange, as are the other things she does. You dont really have an option other than to keep some distance from her.
        Also, about those friends who left you, they were not real friends. Your wellbeing was not their priority so you'r better off from such people. Make good friends, those who will understand you - and your circumstances.
        “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


        Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: problems with parents and life

          Ys sister it looks a case of either possession of hers or yours...or...someone has created misunderstandings between you two.You know...if someone does ibadah and revert to a pious life style..and incase you had signs of possession before...tgere is a possibility that shayateen could nt harm you any more bcz of you doing ibadah right now and being a practicing sister...so they try to revenge on you by making making people closer to you angry or violent towards you.Try to be patient...and avoid those who gets angry at you for no reason...

          Play surah al baqarah recitation...recite manzil and ayat ul kursi.,durood,4th kalima (100times morning evening)...
          Make salah regular.
          Lastly...if some doesnt like you..give space..try at time when she is happy...or in a good mood.
          ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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          • #6
            Re: problems with parents and life

            It is strange but I cant do anything about it but remember the great moments we had together. I really love her and I guess the best option would be making the communication less for a while.

            I understand my friends backing off from me, at the end of the day it was a specific lifestyle that bought us together so it's fine. I regularly pray but I don't know what 4th kalima is? can you please explain it a bit more.

            Thank you

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: problems with parents and life

              Assalam alaykum sister,

              I have the same experience. I changed my life from living a haram lifestyle and I know that people will always expect you to fall back into bad habits. I also know how it feels to lose friends that were once part of your bad lifestyle. Have you tried making friends with practicing muslim girls? I'm sure they will be very happy to embrace you. I find muslims to be the most warm and caring people to newbies like us. I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I know it must be so awful to get spit on. Keep in mind that your mother is a victim of something awful. Whatever is causing her to behave like this is not something she asked for. Perhaps your mother was a victim of some terrible trauma, she has a chemical imbalance (bi-polar) or she is being possessed by something? You are behaving like a muslimah should and still treating your mom well. Keep your distance for now and have a lot of patience.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: problems with parents and life

                Originally posted by Nadine124 View Post
                It is strange but I cant do anything about it but remember the great moments we had together. I really love her and I guess the best option would be making the communication less for a while.

                I understand my friends backing off from me, at the end of the day it was a specific lifestyle that bought us together so it's fine. I regularly pray but I don't know what 4th kalima is? can you please explain it a bit more.

                Thank you
                4th kalima is what protects us from shayateen.It provides spiritual fighters against them on our behalf.There is also a short cut form...you can recite it on tasbeeh.
                Visit ar_ruqya_ash shariya.com...they ve whole books about ruqya and 4th kalima...i removed the previous site as it belonged to some deviants...and was unauthentic.
                Last edited by snow_flakes; 12-03-14, 02:17 AM.
                ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: problems with parents and life

                  http://islamawareness.net/Dua/kalimas.html
                  ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

                  Comment

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