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How do you increase self-esteem?

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  • #16
    Re: How do you increase self-esteem?

    Originally posted by F_R View Post
    You do. It'll take some time maybe a little longer but there are a lot of things you love about yourself you just gotta focus on them and remember.
    I sat and thought about it, and a few things started to come to mind. I guess it would maybe be four things if I listed it, but two of them relate to the way I look. It was actually difficult for me to think about things that I like about myself...

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    • #17
      Re: How do you increase self-esteem?

      Originally posted by Bint_Hajj View Post
      :salams

      I used to suffer from very bad self esteem. The 3 things that helped me with it were 1) to think of myself and talk to myself like I was my own daughter. <--- this one has helped the most. I have a daughter and found so much to love about her :masha: that I realized that I have some of the same qualities that I loved about her. I also realized that the things I would say to myself and the things I thought about myself were things I would never say to my daughter or ever want her to think or feel about herself. And given how low my self esteem was, I would never have been able to list even 1 good thing about myself and found myself unworthy of everything and everyone.

      2) to be grateful to Allah about what I do have. I might not be the most beautiful woman in the world but :alhumdull I'm "ok" and grateful for how I look as it could be worse. I'm also grateful for my health and mental abilities. :alhumdull When we look at those who are less fortunate in any area it reminds us of what we do have that's good.

      3) stay busy and focus on accomplishing thing for this life and the hereafter. Rather than putting focus on appearance or how others respond, I do better and feel better when I'm busy. I like to set goals for myself and achieve them. Even if I don't it's usually because I'm too busy doing other things. And when I'm doing that much the only time really have to think about my self esteem, appearance, or how others might think of me is right before I fall asleep. And then it's over in a matter of minutes because I'm asleep. lol

      Sister, have you been able to seek counseling yet for the difficulties you've talked about? I think that would help as well. I don't know you, but you seem like a very nice sister who has been through a lot but also has a lot to offer. With time and healing you will have a more fulfilling and happy life :insha: .

      Thank you, that is very sweet. Professional counselling, no. I have been speaking to someone about it. I have stated that I can't get therapy but I will try to make it something I keep in mind because I do think I will need it eventually. I have a lot of other issues that I need help with; It kind of relates to my self-esteem issues. I don't just hate myself; I think these feelings developed over time because of other reasons.

      I try to also find something to do because when I sit and do nothing, my mind does start to wander and I get memories coming back to me of what happened, these terrible flashbacks; I basically break down completely. I try to just keep myself occupied in any way because I dislike to be in that state once again.

      Thanks for all the comments. I found them all very helpful and really appreciate it.

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