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Asalamu Alaikum
This question may sound odd. For the past couple of months I was suffering from PTSD and Major Depression. (The PTSD was from an assault that happened a year ago).
Due to the assault I became angry with Allah (SWT) and completely abandoned my faith in Islam. I began to consider myself as an atheist. Simultaneously, I lost my mind. I said and did things that were out of my control. I could not think properly and at times did not rememeber what I did or said when I had such 'episodes'. It became so much that I tried to commit suicide and survived resulting in being hospitalized and medicated. For months I lived with another atheist who convinced me my family was bad and for me to stay away from them. I listened but eventually returned home and once I began praying my condition improved drastically. What the meds could not do for me praying to Allah (SWT) and dikhr did for me within a week!
Anyways I am MashAllah so much better now and do not need psychiatric medication anymore. However, recently these past few days I have had the constant urge to perform Istikara. I just do not know what for al I know is that i HAVE to do it. Can you explain why that may be. It is a very strong feeling in my heart.
I performed the Istikara a day ago but I went to the bathroom at night breaking my wudu and instead had a very bad dream of a boy being killed that I had forseen in the dream. I had a book and whatever I read from it happened.
The next day I did not perfor Istikara but had another dream in which a girl was covered in blood, in pain. She had parts of her body torn with her flesh hanging out. I distinctively remember her shoes she were converse and both feet had huge holes in them going through the shoes and into the flesh of their feet. Was so terrifying. Any reason for this? I would appreciate any answer you can give me.
p.s.I am no longer in touch with atheist and am now close to my family MashAllah
This question may sound odd. For the past couple of months I was suffering from PTSD and Major Depression. (The PTSD was from an assault that happened a year ago).
Due to the assault I became angry with Allah (SWT) and completely abandoned my faith in Islam. I began to consider myself as an atheist. Simultaneously, I lost my mind. I said and did things that were out of my control. I could not think properly and at times did not rememeber what I did or said when I had such 'episodes'. It became so much that I tried to commit suicide and survived resulting in being hospitalized and medicated. For months I lived with another atheist who convinced me my family was bad and for me to stay away from them. I listened but eventually returned home and once I began praying my condition improved drastically. What the meds could not do for me praying to Allah (SWT) and dikhr did for me within a week!
Anyways I am MashAllah so much better now and do not need psychiatric medication anymore. However, recently these past few days I have had the constant urge to perform Istikara. I just do not know what for al I know is that i HAVE to do it. Can you explain why that may be. It is a very strong feeling in my heart.
I performed the Istikara a day ago but I went to the bathroom at night breaking my wudu and instead had a very bad dream of a boy being killed that I had forseen in the dream. I had a book and whatever I read from it happened.
The next day I did not perfor Istikara but had another dream in which a girl was covered in blood, in pain. She had parts of her body torn with her flesh hanging out. I distinctively remember her shoes she were converse and both feet had huge holes in them going through the shoes and into the flesh of their feet. Was so terrifying. Any reason for this? I would appreciate any answer you can give me.
p.s.I am no longer in touch with atheist and am now close to my family MashAllah
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