Is it Allah or is it Shaytaan?

[piousmuslimah]

I fell into depression and after going through so many hardships I turned away from Allah. But then when things just became impossible to bear I began to ask Allah for help and SubhanAllah things started to improve slightly. Most importantly my relationship with my family improved. When I went astray from Islam I fell in 'love; with an atheist. He made me happy and was the only person closest to me. But when I turned to Allah I knew I had to leave him and so I after I invited to him to islam and he refused I turned away. I prayed to Allah and Allah made it easier to leave him.
But a few days ago I fell back into depression because something terrible happened and just lost it. I stopped praying because I could not even get up to shower. But I made dikhr and cried to Allah which helped me from not commiting suicide again.
But one night after doing dikhr I felt bad for all the things I had put the atheist boy through. In my heart I felt as if he needed help and that I was obligated to help him. I felt determined that with time I had to convince him to accept Islam. Then something else happened my love for him returned. I missed him and just loved him. All these feelings returned.
Is this Allah or is it Shaytaan?

[Bint_Hajj]

Re: Is it Allah or is it Shaytaan?

Is this Allah or is it Shaytaan?

Do you really think Allah would want you interacting with someone who is not a mahram with the intention of convincing them to accept Islam?

It's only from Shaytaan who is trying to give you a "logical" excuse to interact and go back to haram. That way you can lie to yourself and convince yourself that what you're doing is something good. Expect more of these "logical" excuses to pop up from time to time as a reason for you to go back to the atheist guy. After a while of not acting on them and continuing to get close to Allah you will see them as the transparent attack from Shaytaan that they are.

Leave the atheist guy alone.

Pray consistently and make tawbah.

If you continue to have suicidal thoughts seek help with an Imam and/or with a doctor.

P.S. You have no control over anyone to convince them or make them accept Islam. Allah is the Turner of Hearts. Only He has control of it. If we had control then Prophet Nuh would have been able to guide his son, Prophet Ibrahim would have been able to guide his father, and Prophet Muhammad :saw: would have been able to guide his uncle.

[piousmuslimah]

Re: Is it Allah or is it Shaytaan?

Do you really think Allah would want you interacting with someone who is not a mahram with the intention of convincing them to accept Islam?

It's only from Shaytaan who is trying to give you a "logical" excuse to interact and go back to haram. That way you can lie to yourself and convince yourself that what you're doing is something good. Expect more of these "logical" excuses to pop up from time to time as a reason for you to go back to the atheist guy. After a while of not acting on them and continuing to get close to Allah you will see them as the transparent attack from Shaytaan that they are.

P.S. You have no control over anyone to convince them or make them accept Islam. Allah is the Turner of Hearts. Only He has control of it. If we had control then Prophet Nuh would have been able to guide his son, Prophet Ibrahim would have been able to guide his father, and Prophet Muhammad :saw: would have been able to guide his uncle.

Thank you. I did see some doubts in it since my feelings for the guy went away after praying to Allah. InshAllah I will remain strong enough to move on without him and turn to Allah only