Allah is Angry/Sad with me?..It HURTS SO MUCH

[piousmuslimah]

I had a rough year where I suffered a lot. I became angry with Islam and Allah and left my Muslim tittle. BIG MISTAKE. I suffered even more. It was not until recently I turned to Allah repented and life turned well. But unexpectedly something terrible happened and I became slightly despaired. I continued to pray but it became difficult to concentrate in prayers and to pray salah on time which made me feel even worse. I felt like I was disappointing Allah. I would cry at night and so one night I recited ayat al kursi and last two verses of surah baqrah to keep the shaytaan away. The same night I had a dream about a jinn possessing my mother and then me. There was an agel in the form of a boy who tried to recite Quran to keep it away but because of my temptations by the shaytaan I messed it up. The dream frightened me. And now I have this pain this fear in my heart. As if Allah is not angry but is sad/disappointed with me. I feel like He is trying to tell me something but I do not know what.

I feel like crying because I feel as if I can feel Allah's sadness. Its a terrible feeling. I also feel pain ugh but a pain like loss? I do not know. I really love Allah I hate making Him feel like this. But I also feel so weak. Like a failure. Like whateveer I do in life is always just me messing up. Please help me. Please

[Morose]

Re: Allah is Angry/Sad with me?..It HURTS SO MUCH

Well it is good that you hate the thought of displeasing Allah, but that does not mean you let it depress you, instead what you do is look for ways to improve your relationship with Him. Do you not know that this is a good opportunity to earn His good grace?

What you need to do is seek forgiveness - seeking forgiveness can increase us in strength. When you repent and really mean it, it eases the burden and relieves you of worries, trust me.

And O my people, ask forgiveness of your Lord and then repent to Him. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in showers and increase you in strength [added] to your strength. And do not turn away, [being] criminals."

Here is the best way to seek forgiveness:

Shaddad ibn Aws (radiAllahu anhu) relates that the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said that he (Sayyid al-Istighfar) most superior way of asking for forgiveness from Allah is to say (the above du'a). That "If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it, and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise; and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it, and dies before the morning, he will be from the people of Paradise."
[sahih al-Bukhari; 8,75,318, at-Tirmidhi; 3393, an-Nasa'i; 5522, Ahmad; 16662]




اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي لا إِلَهَ إِلا أَنْتَ خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَمَا اسْتَطَعْتُ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَيَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِي فَاغْفِرْ لِي فَإِنَّهُ لا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلا أَنْتَ

Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta, Anta Khalaqtani wa ana abduka, wa ana 'ala ahdika wa wa'dika mastata'tu, A'udhu bika min Sharri ma sana'tu, abu'u Laka bini'matika 'alaiya, wa Abu Laka bidhanbi faghfirli innahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa anta

(O Allah! You are my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but You. You created me and I am Your slave, and I am faithful to my covenant and my promise as much as I can. I seek refuge with You from all the evil I have done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me, and I confess to You all my sins. So I entreat You to forgive my sins, for nobody can forgive sins except You.)


And always remember this:

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you.


What you need to do is pray extra nafl salats, recite dhikr, recite the Qur'an, send durood upon the Prophet :saw: and you need to always ask for forgiveness, and :insha: your burdens will be relieved.

Also, a little reminder: Allah does not burden us with difficulties because He hates us, it's because it is a test, so next time don't get all angry with Him and start blaming Him, instead have patience and see it as a mercy from Him because it is an opportunity to earn good deeds through patience and who knows, could be the thing that gets you Jannah :insha: !

[maryam203]

Re: Allah is Angry/Sad with me?..It HURTS SO MUCH

Assalam sister,

This is a test for you, that's all. Allah swt is always near you and wants you to ask for forgiveness! This is the shaytan playing mind tricks on you, be strong sister. Have faith in your Rabb, have faith he forgives. Those who trust Allah swt will never lose out... Ever. This is Allah swt's promise to his servants, your one step, my 10 steps, subhanAllah. If you pass this sister, honestly Allah swt will make things easy for you, he will, have faith. Read ayat e karima, constantly.... In the rememberence of Allah swt do hearts find sukoon, this is Allah swt's advice. InshaAllah Allah swt will take you out from this darkness and bring you into the light, never despair or doubt in Allah swt's mercy. Remember Allah swt said my mercy surpasses my anger. Then why will he be angry with you sister? Ask forgiveness constantly nevertheless by reading the ayat.

And remember Allah swt loves us much much much more than our mothers, think the way you've asked for forgiveness from ALLAH swt if you asked your mother, would she not have forgave you? Regardless have faith sister it is a test. May Allah swt make things easy for you, ameen.

[piousmuslimah]

Re: Allah is Angry/Sad with me?..It HURTS SO MUCH

ayat al karima? How many times should I read that?

[maryam203]

Re: Allah is Angry/Sad with me?..It HURTS SO MUCH

Constantly.... All the time, as many times as you can, and see how Allah swt make things easy for you and I have full faith he will, ameen : )

Constantly in your heart, ask/ beg Allah swt to make you closer to Him swt. To make you obedient, to make Allah swt's love grow in your heart. To purify every atom in your body, soul, heart and mind. And to protect you, save you from everything haram and makruh. To make you closer to Allah swt's obedient slaves. Ameen just pray pray in your heart and when your reading this. Focus on Allah swt and forget the doubts/ confusions and shaytan. You are here only for Allah swt. And so Allah swt will help you and protect you, ameen.

[Lemma]

Re: Allah is Angry/Sad with me?..It HURTS SO MUCH

ayat Al Kursi will help as well. I read its the most powerful ayat. Also I wrote your previous post about depression - you should go to the mosque, to feel yourself in in the house of Allah. WE all are different but it helped me... to feel i'm not alone, to be among sisters. Hope you are feeling better now, but keep trying to be become stronger. our prayers with you